“I am very sorry that things turned out this badly. I will try my best. Nevertheless, you should try very hard to understand our situation.”
Then Thuan waved his hand to show the rows of iris with curly petals bordering the lawn like lace around a woman’s shirt. “You should look over there.”
Vu bent down but he did not see anything besides the purple petals; they were shiny, full of water, and cared for regularly. The garden was really beautiful. But that exquisite beauty angered him all the more.
“I don’t see anything at all besides the beauty of this garden. But that beauty is now like thorns that prick my eyes.”
Thuan’s face was somewhat puzzled and sad. He pulled on Vu’s sleeve and showed him a large spiderweb between two iris stalks. On it was a fly, caught but struggling.
“Do you see that fly in the spiderweb there? Doesn’t it bring some analogy to your mind? Prime Minister Do as well as I can easily meet the same fate as this miserable insect. Previously I had never thought of this. It is the death of Miss Xuan that has opened my eyes. Things have changed. The game has taken a new turn. Just look around us: sentries, bodyguards, the cook, the gardener, the driver, as well as the house servants and the garbage collector for this area, all belong to them. In just a few years everything has changed. Two years ago, we shared a meal of red rice with salted fish in the mountains; all were of one heart and one mind. Now, with a house and a large garden, nothing is as it was.”
Instinctively, Vu shivered. He suddenly visualized the cowardly pettiness of people, including those with power and position — the most enlightened minds of the nation, pillars of the state. Looking straight into the deputy secretary’s face, he smiled and said, “The most important and most decisive thing is this change: when we were up in the mountains, we all were committed to the big cause, ready to accept any sacrifice, even death. Now, because of large houses, servants, and sentries all around the yard, no one retains a warrior’s honor. Wealth and glory have turned people into docile horses and sheep.”
The secretary’s face reddened; his fleshy nostrils quivered. He turned away to avoid Vu’s look.
Vu continued: “Whatever happens, we have to protect the Old Man’s two children. And for you, your conscience will tell you how to act.”
Then he turned his back and walked away.
“Good-bye, Brother.”
“Let me walk you out,” Thuan said, and the two strolled away from the rows of roses to the gate. While walking, the deputy secretary said the final words: “I will bring the subject to the Politburo. I will intervene with all my ability. I will beg the Old Man’s pardon and hope he will forgive me.”
“It’s up to you,” Vu replied coolly, extending his hand to shake with the same coldness. Then he walked toward the main gate because now the barrier had been raised and the two heavy steel doors were open wide. The shiny Volga approached from the garage, stopping in the parking lot. Fifteen minutes were left before offices would open. He saw Thuan hurriedly go up three steps and into the house. There was enough time for him to change his clothes.
4
“Uncle: your ration of morning porridge. Go to your room and eat it while it is still hot.”
With a broad smile the nurse gives Vu his breakfast. Vu looks in the enamel bowclass="underline" meat porridge cooked in a huge pot then scooped out into large aluminum saucepans to be divided among the one thousand people in the hospital. A quiver shakes all of Vu’s body. Suddenly he is afraid of this communal dish. Perhaps some heavy memories check his appetite; perhaps the death of his roommate makes the porridge stale in his mind.
Vu looks around at the few female relatives who are there taking care of the patients in his room. Among them, he notices a bony woman, quite tall. He had seen her before, carrying her husband to the bathroom as if he were a three-year-old. The story was that this husband had left her in their village for fifteen years while he had lived clandestinely with a female cadre at the front. And, after the liberation of the capital, he had then bedded a city widow. Now, close to earth and far from heaven, he could rely on no one, so he’d had his children summon the “skirted woman with the blackened teeth” to care for him. This country woman doesn’t like the hospital’s food. Now she is in line, holding out an aluminum plate, waiting to receive her husband’s portion of rolled rice-flour pancakes.
Vu immediately presents his bowl of porridge: “Hello, Sister, I don’t feel like eating today. Can you help me out?”
“Yes, that is so nice of you, thank you, Uncle,” she replies cheerfully. “I’m waiting for the pancakes and will take them to our room.”
Vu then walks toward the end of the hall. He thinks of strolling around the garden a couple of times; when tired he will go to the cafeteria to drink coffee and eat sesame balls. At least they are not as awful as the thin meat porridge. Vu purposefully goes down the stairs. He does not notice a man running after him.
“Brother Vu…Brother Vu…Brother Vu…Wait for me…”
The guest calls three, four times.
Vu turns around. “Brother Bac!”
The older brother wears a palm-leaf hat, his clothes the brown outfit of a real farmer, his hands full of small and large bags.
“Forgive me, I was busy walking…”
The two men stop in the middle of the stairs and look at each other. The older brother says, “Nobody told me until yesterday, when Thao’s daughter stopped by the house.”
“That’s true,” Vu replies. “Van couldn’t tell you because she caused the physical and mental breakdown that led me here…And the organization, I asked that they not tell you, to spare you worry.”
“You’re mistaken! You and I — we come from the same stock, why hide it?”
“Because you already have too much to worry about,” Vu replies.
“What is all that you have brought?”
“Oranges and bananas from our garden, and honey from our own hives…Only some ocean shrimp did I buy to grill them myself.”
“You still treat me like a little child.”
“Well, child or grown man, you are still my kid brother.”
The two look at each other. Two men with salt-and-pepper hair, the younger one with more salt than pepper, the older one with more pepper than salt. There is a moment of emotional silence before the older brother awkwardly smiles and says, “How awful. You worry too much, therefore your hair is much whiter than mine. A farmer’s fate has its hardships but also its blessings. Each day we eat simple meals; when the sun rises, we start singing; not a worry.”
“You: not a worry?”
“Now, let me put these bags away and we — two brothers — will go down to the cafeteria for some refreshments. In the hospital, it doesn’t smell nice. Just stay here and wait for me.”
Vu takes the bags back to his room, and after arranging them neatly in a small cabinet, returns to the stairs and the two brothers head to the cafeteria. There they sit in silence with a teapot. Both think about the last time they had seen each other. Then, almost simultaneously, they blurt out:
“It has been two and a half years.”
“Two years, seven and a half months,” Bac says, correcting Vu.
Both remain silent as if waiting for the other to speak first. After a long while, Vu cries out, “I really miss Mother, dear Brother Bac.”
“Me too.” After a pause he adds: “So strange: as we grow older we are like kids. We miss Mother like when we were six.”
“This morning when the hospital served meat porridge, I remembered the fish porridge Mother cooked in the old days. Just thinking of it made me salivate.”