That realization helped her find an inner well of calm, even as he kicked open the bedroom door. The knob bounced off the wall, but he either didn’t notice or didn’t care, just strode into the room and headed for the bed. Given his predatory mien, she should probably be trying to escape or at least balking, but Tate would never hurt her, even if she had wounded him deeply.
She palmed his nape and tried to catch his remote dark stare. He looked past her, and that made Belle ache. He was a little too good at shutting her out. Then again, growing up he had probably learned from the best.
What had his childhood been like, raised in a cold household by unfeeling parents who had valued only his intellect while repressing his big heart? Eric had been his first—and for years, his only—friend. They balanced one another.
How would she feel if she’d constantly been told that she was the inadequate half of a whole? Belle kind of understood how crappy that must be. Kinley had always been far more outgoing, the fun, bubbly blonde people gravitated to. If she and Kinley had shared the sort of life Eric and Tate did, she would have been the one on the outside looking in. She’d tasted how bitter that was over the years. Those memories made her ache for Tate even more.
“Those women were wrong to reject you in favor of Eric. You’re so wonderful, Tate. For so many things besides sex.”
He settled her onto the bed where they’d made love the night before. He could call it sex, but they both knew better. They’d made love. She wished she knew how to open herself, embrace the experience, and trust that it could last.
As Tate followed her to the mattress and pinned her under him, she lay in his arms, offering her acceptance. Even when he was mad at her, he treated her with such care. She blinked up into his dark eyes, hoping he could see her welcome.
“It doesn’t matter, Belle. Are you saying yes or no? If you say yes, then you should prepare to submit. If you say no, understand that I won’t ask you again. I’ll leave you to Kellan and Eric. No matter how you answer, I’ll make sure you’re safe. But I will keep my distance.”
Belle hated ultimatums, but she understood. If she said no, Tate would put a wall between them. Not to punish her, but to protect himself. He’d done a remarkable job of making her feel safe with him, but she hadn’t tried to do the same for him. Remorse stung her.
What did she want, to risk her heart for something that probably wouldn’t last or to open herself up and surrender to the men she loved for whatever time they shared?
Eric entered the room. Kellan hovered in the doorway. All eyes fastened on her. Expectation hung in the air.
These men really would put their lives on hold until she was safe. After that, they would return to their homes and their careers. They’d leave her. If by some miracle they didn’t, their little quartet wouldn’t work if Kellan wasn’t even willing to try.
Of course, could she really expect complete security in the relationship? No one had that. She especially couldn’t expect it if she wasn’t ready to commit herself. And she didn’t need a commitment to have sex.
Belle’s thoughts raced. Did she want to go back to simply sharing a roof with them? Most likely, they only had a few days left together. Hell, even if they’d promised her a lifetime, that didn’t always work out. Her father had vowed to love her mother forever and he’d died. When her mom had given birth, she’d committed to being a parent, but after her dad’s death, she hadn’t lived up to that obligation. Her mother’s detachment had hurt and confused Belle. She’d shut everyone out after that. With the exception of Kinley, she still did.
But now, these three men tempted her. Not just sexually. She could really be herself with them—a rarity for her. They set her at ease. Why shouldn’t she experience what they shared to the fullest while they were here? Find pleasure and joy? Her skin heated at just the thought of feeling them deep inside her again. Her heart warmed at the thought of being close to them. Even if it didn’t last, she’d have these days to hold close to her heart.
“Yes.” There was nothing else to say.
“Do you understand what you’re saying yes to, love?” Kellan stepped into the room. His whole body hardened, his previous calm gone. Before her stood a Dom.
Her Dom.
“Yes. I’m agreeing to submit to you in the bedroom.” Elsewhere, she would insist on being an equal partner for as long as it lasted or she’d be unable to live with herself.
Eric let out a sexy growl. “In the bedroom, the living room, the bathroom—whatever room we want. We’re not going to always carry you to the comfort of a bed, Belle. We’ll have you in every room of this house. We’ll take you wherever we want you. I’ll flip up your skirt or pull down your pants, and you’ll take my cock. Do you understand?”
She would be theirs to play with at their whim—whenever they wanted. The thought more than excited her.
“I understand,” she murmured.
“Good. I want you now, Belle.” Tate pulled his shirt over his head with an impatient yank. “Strip and present yourself to us.”
She sat up and unbuttoned her blouse with shaking hands. “How?”
She’d read descriptions of it in erotic romances, but being this close to the guys made her feel too jumbled and hot to remember the details.
Kellan dipped into her personal space. “First of all, look at your Dom when you ask him a question. No more hiding. We’ve let you slide by on that for too long.”
She bit her bottom lip and stared at his chest, finding it difficult to meet his stare. “I’m not hiding.”
Gently, he cupped her chin and forced it up. His stare bored into her. “You are right now. Look at me, not away, when you should connect. There will be no more dodging us. When we speak, unless you’re told otherwise, look directly at us. Do you understand?”
She hadn’t realized she’d been avoiding eye contact. But somehow, when they flipped her submissive switch, that backbone she’d relied on since her mother had withdrawn in grief after her father’s passing just seemed to go on hiatus.
Belle sucked in a deep breath and forced herself to nod, their gazes still connected. “Yes.”
“Yes, Sir,” Eric corrected. “When we’re playing, you’re to call each one of us Sir or we’ll punish you.”
“Yes, Sir.” She could remember that. It would be harder to constantly make eye contact. The visual connection could be so squirm-worthy, so intimate.
Kellan released her chin. “Now ask Tate your question.”
They were going to make this difficult for her. She could tell because Tate didn’t come to her rescue the way he normally would by volunteering the information. Instead of telling her how to present herself, he simply stood over her, arms crossed, watching and waiting. Standing on shaking legs, she tangled her gaze with his and studied him.
Little lines feathered around his eyes, along with a few others that had formed around his normally big smile. Now, his expression looked somber, lacking his usual spark. Already, she missed the Tate she’d come to know and love. Funny, gentle, considerate and earnest. God, she wanted that man back. She didn’t know this one at all. The fact that she’d helped create him killed her.
Belle edged closer to say something—anything. She watched him closely, heard his breath hitch slightly the instant she drew near.
“How do I present myself, Sir?”
His jaw firmed, forming a straight, stubborn line. She had the sudden desire to run her hand across it, to brush her fingertips there. To reassure him. She stopped herself. He was too angry and hurt to want her softness now. She would have to be patient and find other ways to prove that, even if she couldn’t commit to forever, he still mattered.