I pull onto Sarah’s street and maneuver my Toyota Camry into a tight parking spot. Sarah’s building used to be an office building until a big time developer came along and converted the space into apartments for students. Mostly medical students live here, but you’ll find a few engineers and teachers as well.
I’m all but jogging to the main door, eager to get upstairs. As soon as my foot hits the first step, the buzzing of the door sounds and there’s the telltale sound of it being unlocked, signaling I can go in. Despite everything that’s happened between Sarah and me, we still have this weird sixth sense shit going on. I guess that’s what makes our situation work so well. Neither of us have any expectations, but we both know when we need that certain itch to be scratched. Sex, in general, is great but when you’re with someone who knows how to make you let go of everything, it’s ten times better.
Her door is open when I round the corner on her floor. Some could take this as a sign that she doesn’t care and is going through the motions, while others could take it as a sign that she’s eager and ready to get shit done. It’s neither for me. Sarah is very matter-of-fact about everything and simply making things easier for me. As soon as she sees me, her eyes widen. I’m dirty, probably stink and look like shit.
“Need a shower?” she asks with one eyebrow raised. I give her a smirk and wink in return before heading toward her bedroom, where her only bathroom is, and drop my bag on her bed. Her apartment is small but cozy. After I graduated, I stayed here for about a week until we all but killed each other - it was a little too close for comfort back then. Now, I welcome it. I unbutton my shirt, tossing it on her bed as I pass by her and undo my pants, letting them fall to my ankles before kicking them off, along with my shoes, on my way into the bathroom. She had to have known I was going to head right here as towels sit on the counter waiting for me.
Starting the shower, I finish undressing before stepping in and letting the hot water pound down on my muscles. I rotate my shoulders and flex under the spray, hoping to get them to loosen up. I jump slightly at the feel of her hands on my sides, but quickly relax into her touch. She slowly runs her hands down my hips until she’s stroking my dick. My head falls back while my hand steadies myself against the wall. I reach back with my other hand and grab her ass, pulling her to me as she nips at my back.
It’s been far too long since I’ve had the attention of a woman like this and I find myself turning, moving her hand away. She looks confused, but I displace any errant thoughts she has when I pull her to me, kissing her hard and fast. We’re all teeth until we find our familiar rhythm, our tongues gliding against each other and our hands roaming paths that had been forged long ago from years of being together.
Sarah breaks our kiss, letting her lips travel from my neck, over my chest and stopping at my erect nipple. She bites hard, pulling on it until I’m groaning. My cock jumps, pushing against her, ready to be inside of her. Sarah looks at me with a devilish smile before dropping to her knees.
“Oh fuck,” I say, grabbing a hold of the shower door to steady myself. She looks up with her brown come-hither eyes, watching me as she takes me in her mouth. I’m taken deep into her warm mouth as I slowly start to rock and her fingers dig into my ass.
“God damn, your…” I trail off as she pulls back and slowly takes me in again, sucking and using her hand to create much need friction. She switches her method and starts licking me from base to tip and back down while her hand works to get me off. I want her mouth on me though. I want to feel the suction against my shaft. Tangling my fingers in her hair, I guide her mouth back to my dick and she greedily accepts what I’m offering. I pump my hips, fucking her pretty mouth as my orgasm builds.
“Fucking hell, Daisy, your mouth.”
I freeze, as does Sarah. The water turns to ice as I stand there in silence and there’s a pounding in my head. She avoids eye contact as she stands and steps out of the shower, leaving me with my demon. The one thing we’ve always agreed on is that if we were to start seeing someone, we’d tell each other so we wouldn’t have awkward situations like the one that just occurred.
I shut the water off and step out. The apartment is silent, not even the sound of the television is heard. Wrapping myself in a towel, I walk into her bedroom and find her standing at the window with her bathrobe on.
“I can explain.” It’s my lame attempt at a half-assed apology. I should be over there, behind her, telling her how sorry I am for using another woman’s name while she was doing exactly what I wanted her to do.
“Who is she?” Sarah doesn’t turn around, leaving me unable to gauge exactly how she’s feeling. I run my hand through my hair and sigh. Dropping the towel, I reach into my bag and pull out my sweats and a t-shirt, forgoing underwear. Right now, I just want to be in clothes so when she kicks my ass out I’m not stark naked in the middle of downtown Seattle.
“She’s hard to explain,” I say as I try to think about how to describe Daisy to her. “We met last month, but I guess you can say I’ve been looking at her since last year. She’s a season ticket holder and we sort of stare at each other during the games.”
“That doesn’t sound creepy at all,” Sarah turns and when I look at her, her eyebrows are scrunched.
“It’s totally fucking creepy, but you didn’t need to point it out.” I sit down and rest my elbows on my knees, my wet hair dripping onto my white t-shirt. Sarah walks over, taking a seat beside me.
“There are support groups for people like you,” she says, but I can’t figure out if she’s making fun of me or being serious. I have a feeling the doctor part of her thinks I need mental help. Maybe I do.
“Do you have a number for me to call?”
She shakes her head and looks down. I’ve ruined everything and don’t know how to fix it. Taking her hand in mine, I turn my body to face her and pull her chin up so I can look her in the eyes.
“Sarah, I’m sorry for what just happened. I can’t explain it and will understand if you never want to speak to me again. Calling you by another woman’s name is beyond unacceptable and I never meant to disrespect you like this.”
Her face softens, and she leans into me. “I know why you did it.”
I laugh. “You’re in sports medicine, not psychotherapy,” I remind her.
“You’re in love.”
Her words cause the room to spin and my heart to stop. I’ve only loved one woman, aside from my mother, sister and grandmothers... and that woman was Sarah. Even in high school I knew I was in love with Sarah, and still, to this day I would do anything for her.
“Am not,” I childishly respond.
“Ethan, right now I want to punch you in the gut and maybe kick you in the junk, but I know how much you value your manhood so I won’t do that. But come on, we’ve been together for years and even after we broke up and you were sleeping with other people, you never once called me by another woman’s name. I’m not exactly happy about it, but I’m willing to concede my reign over your dick and let another woman have at it, as long as you admit to yourself that you’re in love.”
The words “am not” repeat in my head, but I hold them back for fear she might make good on her word and pummel me. I’d deserve it if she chose to, so I’m going to sit here and play dumb.
“Doesn’t matter because I’m stupid and girls are too hard to read.”
“What’d you do?” Sarah asks as she stands to face me with her arms crossed. I think her foot is jutted out, but I’m too afraid to break eye contact to look right now.
“Freaked out because she was reading a blog that I asked her not to,” I mumble my response and lean back, making the gap between us even larger. Sarah is of average height so I’m calculating that the distance between her arm span and me are in my favor.