I glanced back at Donovan, at the sympathetic gaze in his eyes, and it all came rushing back with hurricane force. A lump swelled in my throat, and my eyes blurred instantly with wetness. “I got one of my best friends killed.” A telling moisture pushed past my lashes as I studied Donovan. At least with a biker, you knew where you stood, which was usually ten feet away from his bike. There were no illusions that you would come first. No promises or guarantees or sweet nothings whispered in your ear.
My breath hitched in my chest, and he stepped within my reach.
So reach, I did.
I wound my fingers into his shirt and pulled him closer. I should have been thinking about how bad I looked. My face had nearly been sliced off, but all I wanted was the taste of him on my tongue. I eased over and pressed my mouth to his. He leaned forward and let me kiss him. The kiss was gentle and patient and a little hungry.
I led my hand inside his jacket and pulled him closer. He deepened the kiss, just barely, trying desperately not to hurt me.
“Is this for me, Dutch?” Reyes growled — so close, I could feel the heat layer over me like a warmed blanket. I offered him a mental fuck you, and he disappeared. But the pain that exuded out of him just before he did so stole my breath and I gasped.
Donovan broke the kiss instantly.
When I raised my lashes, the prince had his hand on Donovan’s shoulder, as if coaxing him to stop. Donovan nodded in acknowledgment, and the prince dropped his hand.
“Sweetheart,” Donovan said, appreciation glittering in his eyes, “I don’t know where to touch you without hurting you, and the last thing you need right now is to be hurt.” He brushed his fingertips along my good cheek. “But I’d be a liar if I said I wasn’t tempted beyond comprehension.”
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that,” I said, suddenly embarrassed. The little girl sat wide eyed, the NC-17 rating way above her pay grade. I was seriously going to have to get rid of her.
With the help of his two bodyguards, Donovan lifted me into his arms.
“What are your names?” I asked Mafioso and the prince as they carried me to my bed, which made no sense, since all my bedding was on the sofa. But they threw a couple of blankets down, moved my supplies to my nightstand, and called it good.
The prince spoke up first. “I’m Eric,” he said, offering another wink. “And the ape at your feet is Michael.”
“Ape, huh?” Michael asked. “That’s the best you can do?”
I had to admit, Michael exuded a Brando-esque kind of coolness that I’d have bet my sutures made him quite the chick magnet.
Prince Eric laughed. “I’m working with a limited education here.”
“It shows.”
Once they had me all tucked in and Eric and Michael had stepped out of the room, Donovan kneeled down beside me. “I’m Donovan.”
I smiled even though it hurt. “I know.”
“I like you.”
I placed a hand on my chest as though I were insulted. “Last I heard, you were fucking in love with me.”
“Yeah, well, that’s how rumors get started,” he said with a sheepish shrug. “Nobody wants a fool in love for a leader. There’ll be rebellion, chaos, matching biker-gang shirts.” He kissed the back of my hand. “Get some rest.”
He’d barely left before the pain set in again, the emptiness and betrayal swirling inside me. Reyes could bite my ass. My dad could bite my ass. Uncle Bob could … Well, no, I still liked Uncle Bob. I was in serious wallow mode when my lids drifted shut again. Depression really did make a person want to sleep all the time. Who knew?
Chapter 27
Sorry about what happens later.
Right in the middle of an unsettling scene where a girl with an eye patch kept trying to convince me I owed her twelve dollars for picking up my teeth off the sidewalk and putting them in a Dixie cup, I heard another voice. One so familiar, so close to my heart, it swelled in response.
“You gonna sleep all day?”
I rushed toward consciousness and threw an arm over my eyes in protest. Maybe this time it would work. Maybe this time it would block out reality and I wouldn’t have to face it, ’cause reality was sucking of late.
“I’ll take that as a yes.”
After a long exhalation, I opened my eyes. Or, well, one eye. One was superglued shut again. I started to rub it, but I forgot and tried to use my left arm. A scalding pain shot up the underside of it. Clearly, pain meds were overrated. But my fingers were moving better. Grim reaperism definitely had its advantages.
I took a deep breath, clamped my teeth together, and focused through my bedroom doorway on the man sitting on my snack bar just as I had been earlier. He was wearing the same shirt from several days before, loosely fitted jeans, and work boots. With one leg up, an arm resting on the knee, he sat studying me, his silvery eyes taking me in, and he seemed almost disturbed by what he saw.
“Is it my new look?” I asked him when he said nothing.
“You weren’t kidding,” he said. “You’re bright, like a beacon, shimmering and warm. You’re like the flame that draws the moth.”
A lump swelled in my chest as he spoke. I had taken everything from him. He had so much more to do, so much life left to live. “I’m so sorry, Garrett,” I said, unable to stop the sting of my eyes. This crying bit was becoming a tad ridiculous, but I couldn’t stop it. Any more than I could stop the rains from heaven.
I covered my eyes with a hand and tried to get a grip on my emotions.
“Charles, how on earth is this your fault? I was doing my job.”
“And your job was me.” I looked back at him. “I did this. I got you killed.”
“You didn’t get me killed. And I should have ducked.”
A small chuckle escaped. Oddly enough, there’d been two people in that room who could’ve avoided a gunshot wound by ducking. Garrett was not one of them. “You should have called for backup. I figured the military would have prepared you better.”
“They should’ve prepared me better for the likes of you.” His turned away from me. “I have to tell you, now that I can actually see Mr. Wong, he freaks me out even more.”
“And I love knowing that more than you can possibly imagine. It’s too bad you have to go through eternity needing a shave.”
He smiled. “Actually, I don’t. But it is too bad you have to go through life with those chicken drumsticks.” He gestured toward my legs.
I gasped, seriously appalled. “I beg your pardon. These are great legs.” I tried to lift my good one, but doing so hurt the bad one. Maybe it was jealous of the attention its sibling was getting. “These legs are legendary. Just ask the chess team from high school. And whatever you do, do not let the words chess team fool you.”
Then a realization dawned, and I fixed an astonished gaze on Garrett.
“I was indirectly responsible for your death. You’re my guardian. The one Sister Mary Elizabeth told me about. This is fantastic. I so didn’t want a dog killer as a guardian, or a big fat liar.”
He let a lazy smile slide across his face. “I’m not your guardian.”
“Are you sure?”
“Pretty darned.”
“Damn it. How many people am I going to be indirectly responsible for killing this week?”
“I don’t know, but I’m not one of them.”
My phone chose that moment to ring and I chose that moment to ignore it. It was Cookie’s ringtone. She’d understand.
“You might want to get that,” Garrett said.
After casting him a look of suspicion, I reached over and grabbed the phone off my nightstand. How could such a simple act be so painful? “That really hurt,” I said into the phone.