“And they banished you for that?” Ethan asked, voice almost a growl as he shared Harris’s fury and grief.
“As the oldest surviving male in the family, it was up to my brother to decide my punishment. By our law, for killing an elder, there are only two options. Death or banishment.
No matter what the circumstances are. There were some pretty loud demands for my execution.” He felt wrung out from telling the story, but he gave them a wan smile. “You’ll have to forgive my brother. He didn’t have a choice, and in the end, it brought the three of us together.”
“So you shouldn’t have created this bond with me because of what happened to your mother. Why did you do it, then?” she asked gently.
He wanted to tell her he hadn’t been able to help himself, that it had just been instinct, but he gave her the truth. “Because I wanted to be that close to you. I wanted to feel this connection with you. I needed it.”
“And it had nothing to do with keeping tabs on me?”
He sensed a trap here. “I’m not trying to track your every move, darlin’.” Her eyes narrowed. “Just some of them?” she asked tartly. “Will you know if I’m on pack business? Dangerous pack business?”
Yep, definitely a trap. He nodded.
“I don’t need protection. I don’t need a big, strong man to keep me safe.” He felt like he’d walked into a minefield. “I know that,” he said warily, not about to admit part of his motivation was protecting her. Even though it was more a guard against his people than any danger a lupine might pose. Any wolf challengers would have to get through Ethan first, and that wasn’t happening. “I can’t pick and choose which parts of the bond work any more than Ethan can control his.”
She didn’t look happy about it, but she let the subject drop, and her anger faded with it.
Thank the gods.
“Now about the dominance thing, darlin’.” He needed her to submit to him here, at home, and he knew deep down she wanted to. Ethan never would fully submit to Harris, and that was okay because he didn’t want to. But Harris hated seeing Gabby deny herself something she needed. Something he could give her.
Her eyes turned guarded.
“You lied to me about liking it,” he said. She scrambled to get off his lap, and he let her go. For now. She got a stubborn look he recognized. “Don’t lie to me, Gabby,” he said softly, not bothering to hide the dom from her.
She heaved a sigh, wrung her fingers, and looked down, refusing to meet his gaze. The actions of a submissive. “Okay. Fine. I liked it.”
Progress, finally.
He didn’t show his sense of triumph, though it was damned hard to conceal it. She felt it through the bond. Her head snapped up. When she looked at him defiantly, he allowed a mean little smile, knowing it would excite her as much as alarm her. Knowing she needed the combination, that it was hardwired into her just as much as her need to submit.
He arched an eyebrow. “I don’t think I like your tone.” He watched her struggle with conflicting emotions. Her desire to fight for dominance warred with her impulse to please him. Interesting. He let his senses expand, opened the bond as he tried to figure her out. She was one of the highest-ranking females in the pack. There was only one way to achieve her position: fight.
But her mind didn’t feel like a warrior’s. She was willing to fight. She wouldn’t hesitate.
She got no joy from it, and she’d somehow managed to learn to contain that part of her, separate from the rest. Almost as if she was ensuring she wasn’t contaminated. He’d never felt a mind like hers, divided like hers.
“You were not born to be a dominant member of the pack,” he said, the realization stunning. “Not as dominant as you are, at least.”
She crossed her arms over her chest, defensive. Cagey. “Don’t be ridiculous. Of course, I was.”
“No, darlin’.” He shook his head. “You weren’t. Don’t worry. I don’t have any interest in taking it from you, but haven’t you ever felt divided? Torn between that public life you lead and what you want personally? Privately?”
He saw right away that he’d hit a nerve.
“Tell me,” he demanded, keeping his voice soft and gentle, every instinct he had urging him to go to her, to shelter her as she told her secret desires, but it was too soon. She didn’t trust him enough yet.
“I wouldn’t know where to start,” she murmured, sounding so confused and dejected it hurt his chest.
He glanced at Ethan and registered his stunned expression—he hadn’t had a clue about these revelations. Harris decided to push her a bit.
“You start by letting us help you. Do you want to be held, Gabby? Do you need it? Ethan is right next to you, and I’m only a few feet away.”
She bit her bottom lip and looked over at Ethan from below lowered lashes. Harris was instantly throbbing hard. He wanted her to look at him like that. Ethan met his gaze, a question gleaming in his eyes. He wasn’t sure how to proceed here. Harris shook his head when Ethan started to move toward her, and with a huff of breath, he stilled. Gabby needed to come to them.
To know she could come to them. There was a lot he wanted to demand of her, but she had a right to demand a few things in return.
“Gabby? Look at me, baby,” Ethan said. He waited until she did before going on with an uncharacteristically serious expression. “I’m right here.” Harris held his breath when she moved. She let Ethan pull her into his arms, burying her face in his chest with a heaved, almost sobbed breath that was easy to read as relief. Ethan held her tightly, close, one hand lazily stroking her back until finally she calmed and broke away.
Harris knew better than to smile. “That wasn’t so bad, was it? Come back to the couch. I need you to tell me about this.”
Reluctance was in her every step. When she was close enough, he grabbed her hand and pulled her into her previous position on his lap. She was stiff, but she didn’t try to escape, and Ethan came over to sit next to them. She relaxed as he drew closer, but Harris was pretty sure she wasn’t aware of it. The mating bonds at work? He wanted it to be so much more. Wanted it to be an emotional response that had nothing to do with the bonds they’d forced on her.
Ethan lowered himself next to them, watching. Curious. Cautious. “Talk to us, baby.”
“And tell you what? I…have desires that don’t fit what I am. That frankly freak me out. A few years ago, I thought maybe it would be possible to be…these two different people.”
“Why did you stop believing that?” Ethan asked.
She chuckled. “Too bad you can’t see how you treat your woman of the week in front of the pack. They’re all submissive females. Ever notice that?” Her bitterness was sharp and hurt and angry in his mind. A shock. But nothing compared to what Ethan was feeling if his face was anything to judge by. He was stunned. A little angry. It frustrated Harris. He didn’t know how deeply this animosity ran between them or how to fix it.
Ethan lurched to his feet and stalked away. When he whirled back to face the couch, Harris considered throwing a telekinetic punch at him, the fury etched on his face was so easy to read.
“Don’t go there, Gabby. Just…don’t. You have spent your whole life keeping me at arm’s length. When did you realize I was your mate? How long have you known? Because sometimes I think I was born knowing.”
He couldn’t disguise the hurt in his voice, and though Harris was tempted, so tempted, to call a halt to this conversation, to all the painful revelations, he knew he couldn’t. They all needed to get this out. But damn, it was hard to watch Ethan hurting like that. To feel Gabby’s pain and confusion and panic. The three of them were supposed to be one unit. It didn’t matter who’d been together first, which of them had accepted the other first. But they couldn’t get on with the future until they dealt with the past.