“And that’s all there is to being in a guild?” asked Isra. “Talking?”
“Oh, no,” said Hannah. “There are guild halls, though they’re not terribly common, and there are bits of magic that work with the guild, includin’ bards. But I don’t imagine any of that applies, and I get the sense you’re done talkin’ about this for now.” She gave Isra an expectant look.
Isra shifted. “There was a reason that I wanted your help instead of Alfric’s.”
“Oh, ay?” asked Hannah. “And why would that be?”
“I… don’t really understand why Verity is going to be with Xy,” said Isra. “Or how.”
“Ah,” said Hannah. “So it’s my expertise as a cleric of Garos, is that it?”
Isra nodded.
“And were your questions more of the mechanical variety, or of the hidden codes and language?” asked Hannah.
“I don’t know,” said Isra. “I understand animals better than humans.” She looked down at her hands. She had become so familiar with embarrassment over the years that it was difficult to remember that she wasn’t supposed to be embarrassed around these people. They had, so far, been very understanding. “I don’t even know when humans have their mating season, and I don’t think I’ve ever experienced it.” She looked up. “If I had… I would know, wouldn’t I?”
Hannah at first seemed amused by this for some unknown reason and then concerned, also for an unknown reason. “Isra… humans don’t have a mating season.”
Isra frowned. “What do you mean?”
“I mean they don’t—there’s no season for fallin’ in love, for us to desire another in a romantic way, for wantin’ sex,” said Hannah. The last bit was said with a frankness that Isra appreciated. It was a topic that people seemed to like to dance around, and in books, quite a bit of it seemed to be skipped over, with only the implication left behind. Isra hadn’t even realized that the implication was there, the first few times she’d read a romance.
“But then when a woman goes into heat is… random?” asked Isra.
“We don’t do that,” said Hannah. “At least, not to my knowledge, and I think I would know.”
“Oh,” said Isra. She sat with her hands in her lap, thinking about that. It seemed so wrong and confusing, that humans were uniquely missing a vital, fundamental part of their lives. They had rules of their own that they probably followed, but also these rules were the ones that people didn’t talk about very much. Looking at the animals, Isra had just thought, well, that it was the same in humans, and that she just hadn’t gone into heat yet. She had thought that romance would make a bit more sense then.
“Do you want help findin’ a partner?” asked Hannah. “Or… someone to decode for you, if I understand your problem with that kind of thing?”
“I don’t know,” said Isra. “I don’t understand what Verity wants with Xy.”
“Well, again, I have to ask, do you mean mechanically or emotionally?” asked Hannah. “Because it seems to me, if the talk around the kitchen had you confused, that there’s not meant to be much of emotions involved, and that can be a bit fraught, if you ask me.”
“And… mechanically?” asked Isra. “Because… they wouldn’t mount each other.”
Hannah then explained, in some detail, what might happen between the two of them. This included some lessons in anatomy that clarified a few things for Isra.
“There are some books with illustrations, back in the temple,” said Hannah. “I can show them to you. And obviously the mechanics are different for a man and a woman, at least some of the time, and I could show you them too. Best to be forthright about it, especially with you, I think.”
“I see,” said Isra. She’d felt increasingly bad as the discussion had gone on and was left, by the end of it, feeling rather glum.
“Are you okay?” asked Hannah.
“Fine,” said Isra.
“You know, I am a cleric,” said Hannah. “And I’ve been trained to talk to people about their problems, to give them advice, to help them figure things out. Beyond that, anythin’ you say will be in confidence, not shared with anyone else. It’s a bit delicate, given that we’re in a party together, but better to talk, in my opinion, even if the thoughts are half formed.”
“It makes me feel sick,” said Isra. “Imagining them together.”
“Ah,” said Hannah. “Well, that’s somethin’ that you’ll have to deal with, and I can help you with that—sick in what way? Sick like lookin’ at moldy food? Revulsion?”
“I don’t know,” said Isra. “No. Sad.”
“Mmm,” said Hannah. “Well.” She cleared her throat and there was silence in the air. “And do you ever think about bein’ with other people? Men or women? Bein’ kissed or touched?” The question was very gentle, reminding Isra of the way that people sometimes approached forest animals they were worried about scaring off.
Isra felt like objecting, because she’d had those thoughts, but it wasn’t like she’d actually been in heat. But apparently that wasn’t something that happened to women, and men presumably didn’t have any rutting behavior, so it was possible that the thoughts that had entered her mind were just the normal levels of desire that people had, and acting on them was natural, if the kind of thing that people just didn’t talk about.
“I think I might be done for now,” said Isra, standing from the chair. “It’s… thank you for the help, with the guild things, and the other, but—I need time to think, on my own.”
“Of course,” Hannah said. “And once your thoughts are in order, I’d be happy to talk with you again, especially over what you feel and how to handle it. You should know that for people your age, it’s not always so clear how to grapple with these things. This is universal, more or less, figurin’ out how things are for you.”
“Thank you,” Isra said again. She was feeling warm toward Hannah, grateful in a very tactile way, like she’d been rescued from drowning. It felt good to be told that she was perfectly normal, especially after she’d been corrected on what felt like a fairly major misunderstanding about human mating.
Isra brushed her teeth with the miswak twig, used the bathroom, and went to bed. Verity was already there, in a nightgown but not yet asleep.
“How did talking about guild things go?” asked Verity. She had a small bottle of something beside her and was rubbing something white onto her skin. “Lotion,” she explained. “Helps to keep the skin nice. Would you like to try some?”
“Sure,” said Isra. She came over and sat next to Verity and rolled up her sleeves so she could apply some lotion to her arms.
Verity talked for a bit about lotion and the regimes that she’d used back in Dondrian, different soaps and ointments that were meant to keep the skin perfect. Isra listened, but she also kept her eyes on Verity. Everything that Hannah had said echoed back and forth through Isra’s mind, like a wave of thunder.
Eventually, Isra went back over to her own bed, and they shuttered the lights.
It took Isra some time to fall asleep though. She kept running things through in her mind’s eye, trying to test how she felt about them, as Hannah had asked her. She imagined nuzzling Verity, or kissing her, or their bodies entwined beneath the sheets. It caused her to be possessed of a restless energy and made sleep come slowly.