As I drew closer, I tried, I do not know why, to recall Murrash Zenebisha’s commonplace face. Oh Lord, from this moment 1 could not picture it in my mind at all It swam as if under a film of water, with a broken, uncanny smile.
The small group of people moved silently to make room for me, Nobody greeted me, They stood like candles, looking strangely small against the background of the bridge. A part of the arch bent heavy and chill above them,
“There he is,” a quiet voice said to me.
He was there, white like a mask, spattered with plaster, only his head and neck, and part of his chest. The remainder of his trunk, and his arms and legs, were merged with the wall
I could not tear my eyes from him. There were traces of fresh mortar everywhere. The wall had been strengthened to contain the sacrifice. (A body walled up in the piers of a bridge weakens the structure, the collector of tales had said.) The bulging wall looked as if it were pregnant. Worse, it looked as if it were in birth pangs.
The body seemed planted in the stone. His stomach and legs and the main portion of his trunk were rooted deep, and only a small portion of him emerged.
A wall that demands a human being in its cavity, the collector of customs had said. Foul, sinful visions taunted me. The wall indeed looked pregnant, … But this was a perverse pregnancy…. No baby emerged from it, on the contrary, a human being was swallowed up…. It was worse than perverse. It would have been perverse if, in contrast to a baby who emerges into the light, the man who entered the darkness were to shrink and be reduced to the size of an infant and then to nothing…. But that was not to happen. This was a perversion of everything. It was perversity itself.
Around me, people’s voices came as if from the next world.
“When?” asked the hushed voice of a new arrival.
“Just after midnight.”
“Did he feel much pain?”
“None at all”
I heard sobbing close beside me. Then I saw his wife. Her face was swollen with tears, and in her arms she carried a year-old baby, who was trying to nuzzle her breast. Paying no attention to the men standing around, she had uncovered one breast. The breast was swollen with milk, and the nipple occasionally escaped from the baby’s mouth. Her tears fell on her large white breast, and when the nipple missed the child’s mouth, her tears mixed with drops of milk.
“He was very calm,’ explained one of the count’s scribes, who had apparently come in search of explanations. “He asked about the terms of the agreement one more time, and then …”
A workman who stood holding a pail near the place of sacrifice splashed the dead man with wet plaster. The plaster trickled down the hair sticking to his brow, gave a sudden gleam to his open eyes, which was quickly quenched, and then patchily smeared his features before coursing down his neck and disappearing into the walk
“Why are you throwing on plaster? ’ a nervous voice asked. But no one replied.
It seemed that they were sprinkling him at intervals, because after emptying its contents over the sacrifice, the worker went to refill his bucket from a nearby barrel
His wife’s interrupted sobbing became louder after the sprinkling.
“He didn’t tell anyone about what he was going to do?” someone asked his wife softly.
She shook her head.
“No one,” she said.
Only then did I notice the other members of the family, standing around his wife. His parents and two brothers with their wives were there. Their faces were petrified, as if they too had been splashed with that plaster of eternity.
“No one,” his wife repeated. But I could not look at her eyes any longer, they were so swollen with weeping.
The count’s scribe asked something of her too, and she gave a short answer. Then she turned to me and said something, but my eyes were fixed on the immured man; I stared at the lower part of his neck, at his collarbone, just where the cavity above his chest…
But at that moment the man standing by with the pail of plaster in his hands splashed him again, and once more the plaster ran down his forehead, igniting and at once quenching his vacant, blind, oblivious white eyes. Then the trickle meandered down his neck, quickly whitening the very spot from which I could not tear my eyes.
The baby had again missed, his mother’s nipple, and was whimpering, I asked the woman whether they had been in financial straits,
“No,” she said, “He’d been earning plenty recently.”
Recently, 1 thought. Like many inhabitants of the surrounding district, he had been working as a day laborer on the bridge and must have been receiving a normal wage, as normal as everything else in his life,
Another of the count’s men arrived and whispered the same questions.
“When?”
“Just after midnight.”
It seemed that we would all stand rooted to the spot, and people would arrive and mutter the same questions until the end of the world.
Now and again one could hear the words “brother, brother” from his sister. But his mother’s sobbing was more muffled. Only once she said, “They killed you, son.” And a little later she very softly added, “As if your mother had no need of you.”
I would never have dared to interrupt a mother’s lament, but the words “They killed you, son” gave me no peace,
“Is it possible someone killed him?” 1 said to her in a low voice, “But why?”
She wiped her tears.
“Why? How should a poor old woman like me know? No doubt for nothing. Because he cast a shadow on this earth,”
“He had always been worried recently,” said his wife by my shoulder, “He had something on his mind.”
“And last night?”
“Last night particularly.,’
My eyes froze again on the dead man’s neck just above the collarbone, as if something were about to appear there, a shadow, a … I do not know what to say. But the plasterer with his usual gesture once more emptied his pail of plaster over the immured man. The grayish white liquid, the very stuff of legend, poured over him.
“Last night particularly,” his wife went on. “I thought I saw him move at midnight and get up. At dawn he was gone,’
The milk from her breast had again missed her baby and trickled to the ground, but she seemed not to care.
“Did you need money?” someone asked.
“What can I say?” his wife asked. “Like everyone else.”
The members of the dead man’s family still stood grouped in silence. There was the splashing of the pail again as it was refilled with plaster from the barrel. 1 was completely numbed. 1 would not have been surprised if the man with the bucket had now coated us all with plaster.
39
ALL THAT DAY AND THE NEXT 1 was not at all myself. His open eyes fixed under their film of plaster seemed to stare from every wall around me, Walls terrified me, and I tried at all costs not to look at them. But they were almost impossible to avoid, 1 only then understood what an important and powerful part walls play in our lives. There is no getting away from them, like conscience, I could leave the presbytery building, but even outside there were walls, close by or in the distance,
My head was splitting in two with speculation. If he had really set out to sacrifice himself of his own free will, as everybody now claimed, what must his motive have been? The desire to ensure a better life for his wife and family, with the help of the great sum of money that the road firm would pay for the sacrifice? I could have believed this suspicion of many people, but not the modest Murrash Zenebisha. Sometimes I wondered whether he had gone to die in order to put an end to a family quarrel (you don’t know what a quarrel among sisters-in-law is like), but this too was unbelievable. There had never been the least rumor of such a thing in the Zenebisha family, I sometimes asked myself whether, whatever his reasons for sacrificing himself, he had told his wife what was in his mind. And had she accepted his plan? It was impossible to believe such a thing. And then I wondered whether he perhaps did not love his wife. She had said that he sometimes went away at night, she did not know where. She had even begun to grow suspicious.