How repulsive.
It was at that moment that Yuyang began to despise him. How she looked down on him now! Though her fear had not abated, she now knew that she had the psychological advantage, so she waited calmly, thinking to herself: Let’s see what you’ve got to say. Let’s hear how you conduct this transaction. Even if I’m willing to go along, I want to see the money order and verify its authenticity, then I want to see it turn to ashes before you can have what you want from me. I tell you, Wei, I’ve seen through you.
Without betraying his feelings, Wei took out a lighter. To light a cigarette?
No. Instead, he held the money order in one hand and the lighter in the other as he walked up to her. She examined the piece of paper and decided that it was indeed hers, with her handwriting. The lighter flicked on and the yellow flame licked the money order, which curled in the flame, turning first to smoke and then to ashes.
Yuyang stared blankly at it, trying to sort things out as the ashes settled to the floor. Wei put his foot down and erased everything, sending “ashes flying when the smoke dies down” in the words of Su Dongpo. That was not what she’d expected, so she stole a glance at Wei, who remained composed. Guilt feelings crept up inside her as she reproached herself for mistaking his good intentions as an evil scheme.
Tears of remorse wetted her face. Wei laid his right hand on her left shoulder and patted it twice, which served to increase her guilt. She covered her face, but a loud thump made her open her eyes. To her astonishment, Wei was kneeling in front of her, silent tears flowing from his upturned face. It was an ugly sight to behold; his mouth was open, his arms raised in the air. He inched forward on his knees and wrapped his arms around her legs. “Yuyang.”
Now she was truly frightened. No. Stunned.
“Yuyang, help me! Please help me, Yuyang.”
Her will softened, and so did her legs. She slumped to the floor and blurted out, “Please don’t be like that, Teacher Wei. I beg you. You can touch me wherever you like.”
Yuyang did not expect to bleed so much. She shouldn’t have; where had all that blood come from? It stained a towel, but in the end it stopped, though the pain remained. And she was not the only one who was shocked by the bleeding.
Wei cried again, his forehead drenched in sweat and his hand covered in blood. But he ignored her as if nothing interested him except the blood on his hand, as if the blood was Yuyang, for he kept saying tearfully to his fingers, “Yuyang, ah, Yuyang! Yuyang, ah, Yuyang!” The way he called out her name was touching. “Yuyang, ah, Yuyang! Yuyang, ah, Yuyang!”
All night long she was tormented by a terrible dream in which she was surrounded by a tangle of snakes. There were so many of them, like baskets of noodles, knotted, twisted, and snarled. They were sticky and slimy, writhing, roiling, surging, and slithering. Worse yet, she was naked and the snakes glided over her bare skin, cold and chilly. She wanted to run, but couldn’t. She could only move her hands. But finally she was running, with the teachers and students cheering her on, and the loudspeaker blaring, “Yuyang, ah, Yuyang! Yuyang, ah, Yuyang!”
She ran as if her life depended on it until she reached the finish line of the 10,000-meter race.
Why wasn’t she ashamed of her nakedness? How could she be so shameless?
Then the PA system crackled to life, and someone was talking. It was Wei, waving a red flag in one hand and holding a microphone in the other.
“Pay attention, everyone,” he shouted. “Look carefully. Yuyang is dressed. Let me repeat, Yuyang is wearing clothes. She did not steal the twenty yuan. It wasn’t her.” And that put her mind at ease. With Wei around, it didn’t matter whether she was naked or not, because with his announcement, she would be clothed one way or the other.
She woke up early the following morning, and as she lay in bed she was sure she was sick. But she moved around a bit and did not feel any discomfort; except for the dull pain down below, everything else felt fine. She got up and took a few steps; she was fine. As she sat on the edge of the bed, she realized that she had dreamed all night, but she was unable to recall her dreams.
Yuyang really did feel fine, but she was exhausted. She had bled a lot the day before, but apparently nothing terrible had happened, and for that she was grateful. She had thought she’d be in terrible shape, but nothing seemed to be out of place. He’d fondled her again, that was all. Other than the bleeding, she didn’t feel humiliated like she had the first time.
She actually felt better, since this was the first time in her life that anyone had actually knelt down to her, not to mention that the someone was her teacher. After this, it would be him, not her, who needed to fawn. Yuyang told herself that he had fondled her before, and since it was him again, she had lost nothing in the process. Once, twice, it was all the same, except that it took longer the second time. What did it matter if she bled? What girl doesn’t bleed once a month? Besides, he had promised that he would never mistreat her and that he would try his best to keep her in town.
It might have been only a transaction, but it was a substantial one, and well worth it, since she had come out ahead. With the teacher giving her his promise, she could not be unfeeling; and yet she felt bad. It wasn’t pain, and it wasn’t pleasure, just something that was hard for her to handle. She’d feel a lot better if she could scream. Yuyang might have been young, but no one needed to explain to her what went on between a man and a woman. She would never have consented if he’d asked her to do it. In fact, she would have threatened to scream if he’d asked, and she was grateful to him for not doing that.
It made a big difference to her. He was a man of his word. He hadn’t taken off his clothes, so there was no reason to feel bad, just so long as he didn’t make her do it with him. He was, after all, someone who had seen the world and weathered many storms; he knew how to take care of things. He showed his ample planning skills with the scheduling. No one would have expected him to ask Yuyang to come to his office every Sunday morning. Who’d have thought he was capable of doing that on a Sunday morning? No one would suspect a thing, which made it perfectly safe, and that put her mind at ease. Besides, her classmates’ focus was on Pang Fenghua and the homeroom teacher; the more animated their gossip became, the less attention anyone would pay to Yuyang.
All along, she’d planned to wait till she’d gathered all the necessary intelligence before reporting to Wei Xiangdong, so she had no reason to hurry. One day—it made no difference when—she’d make that little bitch pay. Moving too soon could alert Fenghua, who might escape from her clutches. That would be a terrible loss. But Yuyang’s youth betrayed her—she could not keep a secret.
One day, while she was sitting on Wei’s lap, she could hold back no longer. She asked him if he knew the identity of the homeroom teacher’s love interest. He produced the names of four or five young female teachers, but she shook her head and smiled.
“No, it’s someone in my class,” she said. His eyes lit up, a strange, eerie glint that seemed aimed at an invisible object. It was the glint of a tiger eyeing its prey. To Yuyang, that glare appeared to send steam into the air, to actually smoke.
“Really?” he asked. Encouraged by the light in his eyes, she nodded with certainty. “You’re sure?” he asked.
Without a word, she went back to her dorm room to retrieve her diary and handed it to him. That was Yuyang’s style. She’d rather act than talk, and let the facts speak for themselves.
“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” he asked sternly.
“The right to speak comes only after investigation,” Yuyang said.
Nothing happened on campus for several days, which concerned Yuyang. The truly shocking event did not take place until Saturday night, though nothing out of the ordinary occurred during the day. After nightfall, not only did they not send for Pang Fenghua, they actually extended lights-out a full hour later and showed a couple of war movies. The teachers’ weekend club was open, so lights blazed on campus, belying any sign of impending doom. At nine-thirty, the usual time for lights-out, Wei, flashlight in hand, made his move, followed by Director Qian, Teacher Huang of student affairs, Director Gao of educational affairs, Deputy Director Tang, several staff members who had applied for Party membership, and seven members of the school security team—a mighty contingent that headed to the dorm room of the homeroom teacher in charge of Section Three of the class of ’82.