“His spirits are good. I think he’s happy to see me. He’s staying up at the house until the end of harvest. You should come by and see him. And I want you to get to know the Tendu. You’d like them, especially Ukatonen.”
“I’ll do that,” he said, patting her hand. “Now, what brought you to see me?”
Juna described her symptoms.
“Hmm. Do you feel puffy? Bfeasts sore?”
Juna nodded.
“Well, I’ll have to run a couple of tests.” He got up and started rummaging through a cabinet. “So, what are your plans now that you’re back? You going to settle down? Start a family?”
“I’d love to, but I can’t. The Tendu need me, and I just don’t have the time.”
He sighed and shook his head. “You’re getting along in years, Juna. You don’t have that much more time.”
“I know. I guess I’m just going to have to get used to the idea of never having children. I should start thinking about what to do with my child-right.” Sudden tears of longing filled her eyes, and she found herself overwhelmed by sadness.
Dr. Engle rubbed her back, and handed her a tissue. “There,” he murmured. “There.”
“I’m sorry,” she said as her sobs subsided. “I don’t know what came over me.” The outburst had startled her; she felt shaky and uncertain.
“You okay now?”
Juna nodded.
“Good.” He handed her a plastic cup. “I need a specimen. Go pee.”
Juna did so. He took the specimen, and dipped a small strip of paper in it.
“Hmm,” he commented and took another strip of paper and dipped it in the urine.”
“Well?” Juna said.
“I’d hang onto that child-right if I were you, Juna. You’re pregnant.”
“I’m what?” Juna exclaimed in amazement.
“You’re pregnant. You’ve got a baby in there. According to the test, you’re somewhere between five to six weeks along.”
“That’s impossible. I can’t be pregnant,” Juna insisted. How could I possibly be pregnant? You gave me the contraceptive shot yourself, in this very office.”
“You haven’t done anything to undo that shot?” Dr. Engle asked.
“How could I?” Juna said. “I’ve been on board a Survey ship for the last six months. Before that I was on another planet, living among— ” She paused as the realization hit her. “Farradabenge!” she swore in Amharic. “The Tendu!”
The Tendu must have done something to reverse the contraceptive shot. But when? She racked her brain, trying to remember when it was done. She shook her head. For all she knew, Ilto had done it when they first rescued her. Anito, or Ukatonen, or any one of the dozens of Tendu she had linked with could have undone her contraceptive shot without her realizing it. Even Moki could have done it. He had known that she wanted a baby. But he would never do something like that without telling her.
“Juna, what are you talking about?”
“The Tendu. They must have done this.”
“Juna, are you saying that the Tendu got you pregnant? That’s not biologically possible, even if you did have— ” He stopped, and to her amazement, blushed.
Juna followed his train of thought, and laughed. “No they didn’t make me pregnant. One of them must have reversed my contraception. But my partner must have gotten the shot too. I mean, doesn’t everyone get them nowadays?”
“That depends,” Dr. Engle said. “Where was he from?”
“He grew up on Cummings Station. His family was part of a religious commune.”
“Hmm. There was a fairly strong pro-natalist sentiment on Cummings back then. Boys in the colonies weren’t required to get the contraceptive shot until about twenty-five years ago. It’s possible that your partner didn’t get an anti-fertility shot. Given the fact that you’re pregnant, I’d say it was extremely likely.”
She looked up at the doctor. “I should have known, after all they did to me. I should have had my status checked.”
He took her hand in his and-held it firmly. “Juna, don’t blame yourself. You did nothing wrong. If anything, the fault is with the Survey doctors. They’re the ones who should have checked your contraceptive status.” He paused. “What’s important is what you’re going to do now.”
Juna sighed. “This is all so unexpected. I-I need to think it over.”
Dr. Engle nodded. “I understand.” He got up and paced, his chin tucked into his chest. “But there are legal ramifications. I’m supposed to contact Population Control immediately when I discover an illegal pregnancy.”
Juna opened her mouth to protest, but the doctor held up his hand, forestalling her comments.
“I know, I know,” he said. “You didn’t mean to get pregnant— it was truly an accident, rare as that is these days. The difficulty will be getting the Pop Con people to believe you. It’s going to be a major scandal.” He stood, hands behind his back, bearded chin tucked, thinking hard.
“I could take care of it now, and not report it. There’d be some bleeding and cramping, worse than a normal period. I’d need to keep an eye on you, but it would be over in a day.”
“You mean kill the baby?” she asked. The realization felt like a kick in the stomach. She folded her arms protectively over her stomach. “No. I mean I— ” She stopped, wordless, and started to cry again. She was pregnant. She had wanted a child so much and now here it was, and it was impossible. She had no idea what to do.
Dr. Engle patted her on the back, but the tears continued to flow.
“I’m sorry, I— ” she sobbed. “This is so sudden. I don’t know what to do.”
“Juna,” he said, squatting down, and gently pulling her hands away from her face, and looking directly up at her. “Go home, think it over tonight. Call me in the morning.”
“But the Pop Con— ”
He shook his head. “In your case, it can wait a day. Call me tomorrow, when you’ve thought it over.” He took her hands in his again. “I wouldn’t do this for anyone else, Juna. I’m trusting you not to do anything foolish.”
Juna nodded, dried her tears, washed her face with the warm towel that he gave her, and headed home. It was a good thing that Dusty knew the way. Juna sat in the cart in a stupor, staring unseeingly at the horse’s rear end. A baby. A baby of her own. The idea made fountains of joy erupt inside her. She was no longer alone.
But the practicalities. It was impossible. How could she manage a bami and a baby? What about maternity leave?
At least she could afford the child-right— she had years of back pay stacked up in her account, enough to make her moderately wealthy. But she was unmarried. It would be much harder to raise a child all alone. And then there was Bruce. How would he feel about this? She liked him, but she couldn’t imagine being married to him.
“Oh, god,” she muttered, rubbing her forehead. There was so much to think about. She let the horse walk on, her mind churning with possibilities and potential problems. Suddenly she realized that they were standing in the driveway in front of the barn. Dusty was switching his tail and looking back at her, ears forward in puzzlement. She had absolutely no idea how long she’d been sitting there, lost in thought.
“I’m sorry, Dusty,” she said with a rueful smile as she climbed to the ground. “Let’s get you rubbed down and turned out into the paddock.”
Ukatonen came out of the house as she began unharnessing the horse.
“Let me do that,” Ukatonen said. “You should be resting.”
“I’m pregnant,” she told Ukatonen. “I’m going to have a baby.”
“That’s why you should be resting,” Ukatonen pointed out.
“You knew?” Juna said, startled. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“You didn’t know?” he said, turning fuchsia in amazement.