And then I heard the dog. The little Yorkie was at it again! When I opened my eyes, I saw, to my horror, that the little yipper was yapping at me! And my busty neighbor, alerted to my presence, had covered herself with a towel and was beating a hasty retreat into the house.
With a repentant groan, I quickly grabbed my own towel, wiping the evidence from the window and shutting the curtain again, hoping that the day’s irony wasn’t going to end, instead of in my calling the police on a yapping Yorkie, in my neighbor calling the police about a peeping Tom!
VAGINA MONOLOGUE
My Dear, Poor, Sweet Muffin,
I know I should apologize for the rather rough treatment you received last night.
Yes, I know, I know, it was me begging for more. And it was my idea to stand up and bend over the chair, which put him at that deliciously deep angle. I couldn’t help it.
He’s got such a way with fucking me from behind like that, giving it to me with such perfect rhythm and timing, and rubbing your little clit to boot!
You have to admit, Little Miss Muff, you were more than wet enough to pick up any slack. Or so I thought.
Honest, I swear, honey, I had no idea we were going to wake up so sore this morning. If I had… well… I probably would have stopped. Okay, maybe not stopped exactly. But at least asked for a little less. Well, maybe not less… It’s just, at the time, I really wasn’t thinking about the possible consequences of asking for more. Yes, yes, I know it was me begging for it: “Harder, yes, please, baby, come on, harder, harder!” I admit, I didn’t consider your soft, sensitive spots at the time.
What do you mean why? Um, sweetheart… you were there. You were the one quivering with lust, all slippery wet and sucking at his cock like a little mouth. If your “mouth” hadn’t been so full, you would have been saying just what I did: “Please, God, don’t stop, fuck me harder!” Oh don’t give me that, you know you liked it.
What do you mean how do I know? I’m pretty intimately connected with what you like. And so is he. You know you love the way he slides his cock up and down that slippery slit of yours before sinking deep inside. And if I remember correctly, you weren’t complaining at the time. That sweet wetness coating my thighs was a dead give away that you were enjoying it… and God, so was I! The incredible pounding he gave us, the way those big fingers found the little nub of your clit and rubbed it until…
Okay, so you’re a little raw. Yes, I know it was all that rubbing. And pounding.
And rubbing. God… I’ve got goose bumps just thinking about it. Okay, I know, I’m sorry, sweetie. Just because you’ve had that throbbing ache all day long and the bumpy ride down the dirt roads this afternoon on the way to the to the market weren’t any fun… wasn’t it worth it? I mean, really. Wasn’t it?
Remember how he grabbed my hips and shoved himself so deep into you that the whole bed threatened to collapse? That was before the chair, if you remember. Yes, I said it was my idea. You didn’t think it was a bad one at the time, you know. You like it, too. I know you do, the way you spasm and swell at just the thought of his cock drilling into us like that… and you know I just love that angle, being able to hold onto the arms of the chair, arch my back, give him all of me, give him all of you…
And oh God, that was good… remember?
I had to have more… you know you were asking for more, too, begging for more, aching for it, rocking back against him, deeper, harder, working so hard for that next, sweet climax. God. Yes. So worth it. Oh, yes it was. How many times did we come? I lost count… all the rubbing and pounding and begging and sticky, sweaty fucking, oh honey, there was just no way I could have stopped him or even slowed him down. No way. I wanted it too bad…and so did you.
But I really am sorry you’re sore today. So red and swollen… you poor thing.
Even the warm bath this morning didn’t help all that much, did it? I could always try ice, but brrrrrr. I do have an idea, though. Want to hear it? Since I was so wanton and thoughtless and you’re oh, so very pouty because I didn’t think about the consequences to your sensitive little self…
Since you’re still so sore, guess what I’m going to do for you?
Tonight, when he comes home from work, we’re going to ask for soft, slow, easy kisses. What do you think-will a hot, wet tongue bath make up for all that hard pounding? Ya think?
Well, it’s worth a shot, isn’t it?
Let’s find out!
XOXO
ME
“C-u-n-n-i-l-i-n-g-u-s.”
“C-u-n-n-i-l-i-n-g-u-s. I spelled it out for him myself.”
“There’s a word I never got in the spelling bee.” I snorted, closing my copy of Plato’s Republic and tossing it onto the floor.
Christy was sprawled across her bed, swinging her feet and finishing the last of her Zima, her tongue fishing for the lime. She stretched out to plop the empty into the cardboard container, her shoulders hanging off the bed, her little breasts pointing toward the floor.
“Want another one?” she offered, but I shook my head, waggling my half-full bottle at her. I’d already had too many, but mid-terms were over and we were celebrating. She settled herself back on the bed with a sigh, stretching, her tanned, bare bottom rounding with her arch.
She didn’t have to worry, really-we were in an all-girls dorm. Although she got more than her fair share of strange looks at first from other girls, no one ever said anything to her when she walked down the hall to the showers in her birthday suit She was one of those people who could pretty much get away with murder.
“Then what?” I asked—me, the shy girl, the one who changed every day in the bathroom stalls. I was too self-conscious to wear shorts or even tank tops. I was the button-down, jeans girl, winter or summer, didn’t matter. I could spell c-u-n-n-i-l-i-n-g-u-s, but I could count on one hand the number of times a guy had half-heartedly attempted the thing.
“And then he said if I was waiting for him to do that, I might as well put a candle in the window for Jimmy Hoffa.”
She rolled over onto her back, putting her feet up on the wall and hanging her head off the end of the bed, making a face at me. I made one back, reaching for another Zima and grabbing a cut lime off the desk.
“And then?” I prompted.
We were a strange pair. Christy was a spoiled rich girl whose father paid for her to attend an Ivy League school. Me, I was there on grants because my parents were incredibly poor. Welfare poor. To say I was a stranger in a strange land wasn’t just a cliché—it was also a great big understatement. And still, we got along. We had become fast friends in spite of, or maybe because of, our differences.
“And that’s when I left with his best friend.” She grinned at me, slithering to the floor and reaching for the remote, flipping channels on the TV.
“Did you do him?” I twisted around on the bed and curled up, propping myself on an elbow.
“Yep.” She grabbed a pillow off her bed and fluffed it behind her. “Of course, that’s when I thought he was going to return the favor!”
“No tit for tat, huh?”
“Oh, he got plenty of tit.” She pressed her bare breasts towards each other with a grin. She was much smaller than me, barely a handful-they were the perkiest, prettiest little things and it made me envious. I wished I could walk around like she did, slender and tall and proud.