At the end, I see a woman with short blond hair wearing a bright pink dress. She’s standing next to a small table under a comically large balloon arch.
“Welcome!” she says, beaming. I’m not sure who she is until she asks, “Can I start you off with something to drink?” in a British accent so thick that she must be Emma’s mom. She hands me a glass of pink lemonade and I take it and thank her politely. “Everyone’s in the backyard,” she says.
She turns her attention to the big group coming in behind me. “Welcome!” I hear her say as I turn the corner and walk into the “backyard.” Which is really more like a small park.
Bright pink and purple flowers are bursting out from behind short hedges, and the grass is so green I feel the impulse to reach down and touch it to be sure it’s real. The walkway takes me past smaller patios and hidden sitting areas until it ends at a huge lawn. There’s a DJ parked on the far end.
I look around for Anna. Right in front of the DJ, I spot Alex and Courtney dancing. He’s grabbing her by the hips and pulling her toward him while she shoots him fake smiles and pushes him away. I keep scanning the yard, and finally Danielle pops her head up from the crowd, gives me a wave, and starts walking toward me.
“She’s going to be so happy to see you,” she says, pulling me into a hug. “You’re all she’s talked about for the last few weeks.”
I’m not sure what I’m supposed to say to that, but I’m glad to hear that she’s been thinking about me as much as I’ve been thinking about her. “Where is she?” I take a quick sip of lemonade and I feel my whole face pucker up. I set my glass down on a small table next to a rosebush.
Danielle rises up on her toes but it doesn’t give her much of an advantage. “I saw her earlier, but—oh, wait…there she is.” She points off toward the edge of the garden and I follow her finger but still don’t see Anna. “She’s over by that big tree, talking with Justin.”
I finally spot her. Justin’s leaning against the tree and Anna’s standing in front of him. She’s wearing a short skirt that looks a lot more like something Emma would wear, and I’m pretty sure that means that Anna let Emma dress her for the occasion. Her hair is up on the sides, held in the back by a clip, but the rest of it is long. She’s twirling her curls around her finger.
Justin sees me before she does and I hear him say, “He’s here.”
Anna turns around, and before I can take another step she throws both arms around my neck. Justin glances around the yard like he’s looking for an excuse to leave.
“I’m going to grab a drink,” he says, and then tells me where to find the beer they stashed in the bushes.
“Thanks.” I don’t tell him that I don’t drink. I tried once, at a party my sophomore year, and it was a disaster. After two beers, all I had to do was think about needing to take a leak and I’d wind up back home in my bathroom.
Anna gives me another squeeze. “Did you get my present?”
I nod. “Thank you. It’s perfect. Exactly what the room needed.” I step back and take a closer look at her. “You look amazing.”
Anna looks down at her outfit and shakes her head. “Emma’s doing, of course.” The shirt is lower cut than anything I’ve ever seen on her, but I don’t want to make her self-conscious, so I don’t say anything.
“How was your trip?” she asks, raising her eyebrows jokingly.
“Very short.”
“No little bags of peanuts on board?”
I run my thumb along her cheek. “Nope. No peanuts.”
She fake-pouts. “Bummer. I liked the peanuts.”
“Can you stop talking now so I can kiss you?” I start to move in closer to her but she pulls away, glancing over my shoulder at the party in full swing behind me, and reaches for my hand.
“Not here.” She gives me a peck on the cheek instead. “I have an idea. Follow me.”
She leads me to the other side of the lawn, past the DJ and to the edge of the garden. We’re not exactly out of sight, but this is a little more private.
I think I’m finally going to kiss her, but then she ducks down low and pulls me into a small grove of fruit trees. We push branches and leaves out of our way and when we’re able to stand up straight again, we’re standing at the edge of a hill. A tall, wrought-iron gate hugs the slope, and Anna feels around in the dark for the opening. She finds the latch and the gate swings toward us with a squeak.
It’s dark back here, but the narrow path is illuminated by a series of lights hidden in the surrounding ferns and grasses. Tiny rocks crunch under our feet as we follow the path to a wooden bridge, and once we’re across, I see a cement bench next to a giant Buddha statue. I can still hear the music, but it’s muffled.
Anna stops in front of the bench and steps in close to me, resting her hands on my waist. “So…you were saying something about peanuts,” she says with a smile.
“No, I was saying something about kissing you.” And before she can say another word, my hands settle on the small of her back and I close what’s left of the distance between us. I feel her hands on the back of my neck, her fingers traveling into my hair, pulling me into her, kissing me.
When we stop, she doesn’t open her eyes or move away. I can feel her breath as she speaks. “I missed you.” She runs her thumb along my jawbone and my pulse races. “Tell me about the last few weeks. I want to know everything.”
Everything. I take a deep breath, preparing to launch in. I’ve been waiting for three weeks to tell Anna everything. How many times did I stare at my cell phone, wishing I could call and tell her about the fire, and two kids that are alive today but shouldn’t be, and the look on my dad’s face when I told him what I’d done? Finally, here she is, staring at me with this sweet, expectant look on her face, and my mind is totally blank.
I’m not ready to go there yet, so I decide to warm up with a few basics. I sit down, straddling the bench, and Anna sits right in front of me. When I talk, she leans in close, as if my class schedule is especially interesting, and when I tell her about my friends and how weird it is to be back with all of them, she scoots forward and takes my hand, lightly tracing the lines in my palm with her fingertip as she listens.
When I’m finished, I ask her about life at Westlake. She tells me about Argotta’s class and how she has a new conversation partner, and that every time she turns around and looks at my old desk, it makes her happy to think that I sat there once but also makes her sad that I no longer do. Last weekend, she got the top time in her cross-country meet.
We’re both quiet for a few minutes and I see my opening. I take a deep breath, preparing to tell her about the fire, but before I can, she squeezes my hand and says, “I have something to tell you.”
I smile at her. “I have something to tell you, too.”
“You first,” she says.
“Yeah? You sure?” I ask, but I’m secretly glad I don’t have to wait any longer. I was nervous at first, but now that we’re all warmed up, I can’t wait to see the look on her face when I tell her what I did.
Anna nods.
I shake my head, looking for the right words to kick off my bizarre story. It’s still kind of hard to believe, let alone say out loud. “I did something really crazy. Or stupid. Or awesome.… I don’t know. It’s sort of hard to categorize.”
She looks at me quizzically.
“My dad and I were watching the news one morning, and there was this story about two kids who were killed in an apartment fire. For the next few days, I—I—” I start stammering, and rake my fingers through my hair as I search for the right words. “I just couldn’t get the image out of my mind.”