“Believe me, I’m not taking any chances with Hinata,” he reassured me. “But that thing looks like it’s attached to you.”
“I’m about to fix that,” I said, and sang.
I offer my claim to my Hinata’s soul to the Naruto that I love.
Naruto stared at me for a moment as my end of the chain came free, and I offered it to him. “I accept,” he said firmly, and it was done.
Next, I reached inside myself and gathered the largest memory bubble I’d ever created.
“This is a copy of all of my memories since the loops began,” I explained. “If something goes horribly wrong, and I can’t fix myself, give this to one of the non-looping versions of me. That’s tricky in the physical world, but if you can get her into your mindscape all she has to do is touch it and accept the memories. After that just give her a chakra feed, and she’ll be able to put me back together.”
Naruto accepted the memory bubble, and looked at it thoughtfully. “Ok, I think I can use this if I need to. But this better be a backup plan.”
“It is,” I reassured him. “The main plan is a tricky little bit of seal work.”
I stepped back a few paces, mustered my concentration, and sang a trigger seal into being. Threads of identification touched all three of us, wrapping around a pocket of folded idea-space that had just a bit in common with a storage seal.
“He’s trying to use compulsions to keep me from, um, doing that thing that makes it be a new loop,” I explained. “I think I can still break it if I have some time, but that won’t be true forever. I’m going to try that after we’re done here, and hope you guys can figure out a way to get me out next time around. But if you don’t find a way soon he’s going to wear me down to the point where he can actually make the genjutsu stick, and if he can do that… well, if he can drug me up and spend a whole loop working on me it isn’t going to be pretty.”
“So I’m going to take this back to my own mindscape,” I went on, “and use it to hide as much as I can get away with about myself, my abilities, and other things we don’t want Sasuke to know. The last thing I put in will be my memories of making this seal, and then if I realize I’m not going to get away again I’ll lock it up and hide it in a part of my mindscape that wouldn’t even exist in a normal person. That way if Sasuke does manage to turn me into a loyal little slave girl I won’t be able to give away too much. When we meet again, I’ll need one of you to say the magic words to release the seal and restore me. I need each of you to pick a key phrase we won’t forget, something that means something, but that Sasuke or a non-looping version of you would never think of. Any ideas?”
Naruto mustered a cocky grin. “Pretty girls who fight big, scary monsters with a seduction technique running should know what they’re going to get when they lose.”
Remembering that day was almost enough to make me smile. “That works,” I agreed.
Hinata stepped up and put her hands on my shoulders. “I will guard you for all the ages of eternity, till the stars die and the twilight of the gods brings the end of all things.”
I faltered, seeing the guilt in her eyes. “Oh, Hinata…”
“I will,” she said firmly. “I’ll guard your memories now, and I’ll find a way to overcome this weakness of mine. Next time we face the Sharingan I’ll fight as your side, my treasure, and even death won’t stop me from defending you.”
“I believe you, Hinata,” I reassured her. Another stab of pain hit me, and I hurriedly finished setting the triggers. “I’m sorry, but I need to go soon. I think he can tell that part of me is missing. Naruto, he thinks he has to kill you for some reason, so I’m assuming he has an idea about how to make it stick despite the loops. He probably means to use me against you, so from now on don’t assume you can trust me. I… I love you, both of you.”
For a moment they both hugged me, and I got a kiss on each cheek. Then I felt the tug of a summoning, and I knew for sure I’d been found out. I dismissed myself with a hurried gesture, snapping myself back to my inner mindscape before the summoning could trap me somewhere else as a ghost.
Then I was alone.
I contemplated my own memories for a moment, noting with dismay how many important secrets were interwoven with long stretches of my personal history. I couldn’t make myself forget about my inner mindscape without creating massive gaps all through my recent memories, and I was bound to miss references if I tried it. But if Sasuke ever found his way in here he could attack the parts of my personality that were inconvenient for him directly, instead of just trying to beat me into submission with torture and conditioning. If that happened even recovering my memories might not restore me.
So I gathered my will, and folded the entirety of my inner mindscape into the box I’d made. Then I made a fake, with parts that had more ordinary associations with my memories, and linked it to the hidden path to the outside. It was an exhausting project, all the more so because I had to work quickly, and when it was done I felt strangely diminished. I wondered for a moment just how much of my growing strength in recent years had been tied to finally having a proper mindscape, and how much I had just weakened myself. But I didn’t have time to woolgather, so I shook my head and went on.
Next were my own memories. Most of them had to stay, but I plucked out key bits here and there. Everything about the chakra storage seal, and the wish, and my recent assimilation of Orochimaru’s work. Everything from the year Hinata and I spent infiltrating Akatsuki, including my true sight and the curse of misery. Oh, crap. Anko’s memory bubble, and the ones for the non-looping versions of myself and Sasuke. What else?
I surveyed my now-fragmented memory blurrily. Surely I was leaving too much? All my secrets were still there, weren’t they? But no, there were lots of memories in the box. I’d given away clues to most of what was left, so I had to trust that I’d just forgotten the important things. Wait, my true flight jutsu. I didn’t remember inventing it, so I shouldn’t have the skills to use it either.
I fretted for a moment about that, wondering what other practical skills might still be ingrained in my reflexes even if I didn’t remember learning them anymore. But a flash of giddy pleasure from my other self distracted me, and I realized the poor drug-addled idiot had just given in and promised not to reset her loop again without permission.
“Oh, no,” I moaned. “No, no, no. Crap, I hadn’t even thought about that. Now I can’t reset, and if he figures out that I can’t break my promises…”
I shuddered. If he figured that out he could bind me in ways that I’d never escape. How could I put a stop to that? I only had one idea, and once I tried it I probably wouldn’t be good for much else.
“Naruto, you’d better come through for me,” I said softly. “All I can do now is limit the damage.”
I dropped into the place where the traces of all my aspects slept, and tucked the box into my demon’s arms with a whispered admonition to wake if it was disturbed. Then I put my name in the box, and closed it.
I blinked in confusion, and put a hand to my head. What kind of delusional fever dream did I just wake up from? I was sitting in the hidden part of my mindscape trying to… well, I’d been doing something. Something about resisting Sasuke. But why did I think I’d just hidden most of my soul in a metaphorical box in a place that didn’t exist? That was silly. Mental defense techniques just don’t work like that.