“How can you be here at the same time as her?” She finally asked.
“I found a way to make a summoning contract with myself,” I explained. “So I can summon the Sakura in your loop, have her sign the contract, and then let her summon me here. She can’t hold enough chakra to bring my body, but I’ve gotten good at making those.”
“So if I kill her you can’t come here.” Her eyes narrowed slightly. “Is explaining this another olive branch? Why?”
She wouldn’t believe the whole story, and she’d probably know if I lied. Gods know the Byakugan is an incredible lie detector, and I’d never tried to work out a way to fool it. But I didn’t have to explain everything. “The short version? He loves you. He also loves me, and I love him. I don’t want to fight with you. It would only make him disappointed with us both.”
“You said that before,” she observed quietly. “You said, ‘he loves you’, and also ‘you’d better get sane’. Which perplexed me at the time, for I considered myself quite sane. I have since learned better.”
“Good,” I said seriously. “I… respect you, Hinata. It hurt, to see you like that. Which reminds me, I owe you an apology. I should never have questioned your devotion to Naruto.”
“True,” she said. Then she sighed softly. “I see that you speak the truth, though you keep back many secrets. Promise me you will not lie about anything he says, and I will hear your message.”
“I’ll do more than that. I promise that I will not attempt to deceive you in any way about what Naruto wants me to tell you, now or in the future, unless you release me from my vow.”
As I’d expected that familiar sense of finality settled about me, and I knew I couldn’t break my promise. But Hinata’s eyes widened fractionally in surprise, and I realized she could somehow see that my oath was binding.
“You!” She breathed. “What are you, Sakura?”
“A little less kami than you are dragon, Hinata,” I replied. “Just enough that my promises bind me if I mean them. So now you know that the worst I can do is fail to relay a message, and even then I can’t do it to deceive you.”
She bit her lip, the way my Hinata did when she was troubled and thinking hard. “And the message?”
“First, he wanted me to tell you that he has come to love every version of you that he’s met in the loops, and he looks forward to seeing the true and eldest Hinata someday soon. You don’t have to do anything else to earn his approval, Hinata. If you can reach him, he’ll be waiting for you with open arms.”
She trembled slightly, and a single tear fell to run slowly down her cheek. Knowing what I now knew about Hyuuga customs, I pretended I hadn’t seen.
“Second, a warning. The looping version of Sasuke has mastered the most depraved levels of his bloodline, and found a way to travel physically between the loops. Fortunately he has to navigate the whole infinite labyrinth of possible worlds to find us, so he can’t just surprise us at will yet. But not long ago he found my loop and tried to break me again, and if I hadn’t found a defense against his eyes I’d be his slave now. We’re not sure if he knows about you or not, and I certainly didn’t tell him, but please take whatever measures you can to protect yourself.”
“My eyes are as strong as I can make them, but I will consider what else may be done.” She paused, and took a deep breath. “Will you show me your defense?”
Ouch. It must have cost her to ask that of me, and I hated to deny her. “It’s based on my bloodline, so I don’t know if you could learn it,” I said. “I can split myself into two aspects, and shift attributes of my mind between them. The Sharingan is actually a demonic weapon that feeds on the victim’s pain and misery, so I was able to make myself immune by shifting all the parts of myself that it could affect to an aspect that wasn’t physically present. If you think you might be able to learn something like that, I’ll be happy to try to teach you.”
She gave me a measuring look, and shook her head slightly. “No, that is not within my ability. Not until I find my name, and perhaps not then. Was there more?”
“No, but if you want me to carry him a message from you I promise to do so faithfully.” I smiled at the faint hint of surprise in her eyes. “I told you, I don’t want to be your enemy. I think I may even have a way for you to visit him soon, if you’re willing to trust me a little.”
She bowed her head, and for a moment I thought her Hyuuga reserve was going to crack completely. But she wrestled her emotions back under control with only a slight tremble.
“Thank you,” she breathed. “If you can do that, I may be forced to forgive you. But what then?”
“That’s up to Naruto,” I replied. “But I’ve been friends with the Hinata in my loop for a long time now, and I think I understand you a little better than I used to. I know that your feelings for Naruto are at least as deep as mine, and losing him forever would hurt you even more than it would me. I could never do that to you, Hinata. I think he wants us both, and I can be happy with that.”
“And if he chooses me instead?” She asked gravely.
“I…” I was sure he wouldn’t, but gods, just thinking about it hurt. Still, she deserved an honest answer. If Naruto chose Hinata I was sure he’d get both versions of her whether they merged or not. What would it do to me, if I lost both of my loves at once?
For the first time, I realized that loving like a celestial wasn’t necessarily a good thing. If my feelings for Naruto and Hinata had been something like my old crush on Sasuke or my affection for Ino I could eventually get over them, and move on. But they weren’t. If they rejected me now, after our bonds had grown so strong, I didn’t think the pain would ever fade. I imagined for a moment what it would be like, to feel that loss for the rest of my life as strongly as if it had happened yesterday.
“It would kill me,” I admitted. “Oh, I’d wish you well, and try to look happy at your wedding and be a good friend afterward. I might even succeed, for awhile. But it would never get any easier, and I wouldn’t want to spoil your happiness by hovering around being hurt and pathetic. I think eventually I’d have to arrange to die heroically, or take a long trip and permanently disappear, or something along those lines.”
She regarded me steadily for a long minute, but her eyes weren’t quit as cold as they’d been before.
“As you pointed out before, I’ve only known you as a child,” she said. “Perhaps I should give you a chance.”
I carried several messages between the two over the rest of the loop, but my efforts to make my summoning contract tangible bore little fruit. Bringing something physical into my mindscape wasn’t any easier, although I did manage it with a single drop of my own blood. I tucked that carefully away in a hidden compartment beneath my workshop, thinking it might come in handy some day.
I was obviously missing some important detail there, but none of the information sources I had access to in Konoha shed any light on the matter. I was brooding over it at the library one day when Naruto decided my life wasn’t complicated enough yet.
“Hey, Sakura,” he greeted me as he bounced up with his usual energy. “I’ve got someone you need to meet.”
I sighed. “What now, Naruto? I’m a little busy trying to figure this thing out for Hinata, you know.”