“No! Oh god, Baby. Sit down!” she insisted and started gently pushing me towards my living room sofa.
“Holy Shit!” I heard John’s voice and Danielle’s gasp once they stepped through the door after Claire and got a good look at me.
“You really don’t know?” I asked again, this time in a clearly doubting tone, after sitting down.
“No! How would I? What happened? Are you Okay? Of course you’re not okay, I’m sorry, I just...” I wasn’t sure how I should take her continuous stammering, so I interrupted her.
“The hospital called you guys to sign the paperwork.”
For some reason, that information caused Danielle’s expression to darken.
“Nobody called me!” Claire protested.
“Well, they must have called. Aaron showed up the day I got out of the ICU to sign what they needed.”
Claire just blinked at me in shock, visibly unable to comprehend what I just told her, and I heard John growl something unintelligible.
“That rotten bastard!” Danielle suddenly called out, before turning to Claire. “They must have called the house phone.”
Then it clicked. Claire had moved out. John had even told me about her and Ava moving in with him. I had thought about that when I wondered why Aaron was so cold towards me!
“I can’t believe he wouldn’t tell me about something like that! How could he not tell me that one of our children is in the hospital!?” Claire breathed out, staring into space and shaking her head. “I don’t believe this.”
“What happened?” John asked that question for the third time, but his voice was surprisingly demanding.
“You know the client I was with on Christmas Eve? Ava’s friend, Mia?” They all nodded. “She invited me to a party the day after Christmas. Then her mother’s stalker showed up and shot me four times.”
“He ... WHAT!?” they sputtered.
“Yes, we were equally surprised.” I tried to joke, but just like the time I was assaulted in front of the house, my humor fell flat, so I continued. “Two got stopped by my vest, though. I got one in the shoulder that also broke my collarbone, and one in the leg. Was in the hospital the entire last week and got released today.”
By the time I finished, Claire’s breath was stuttering and her body trembled. I actually couldn’t tell if she was angry or trying to stop herself from crying.
“The entire week...” she whispered between heaved breaths. “You were in the hospital, all alone, the entire week.”
Danielle sat next to Claire and took one of her hands in an attempt to calm her down. I wasn’t entirely sure how I should deal with this. There was no way she was just acting. She was genuinely hurting on my behalf. And she was genuinely disturbed about not being able to be there for me while I was in the hospital. At least, that’s what this looked like for me. Still, even now I would rather have them leave as soon as possible, so I could limp through the apartment in peace.
I got to my feet, or rather on my foot, and moved into the kitchen to get Claire a glass of water. Only when I turned did I notice how John was directly behind me and watching my every move closely, like he was ready to catch me if I were to slip or something. That just enforced my need to get them out of my space.
I reluctantly handed John the glass so he could bring it to Claire. There just wasn’t any way for me to carry it, unless I left my crutch behind to jump the entire way back to the sofa on my healthy leg, probably losing half the water by the time I reached her.
“You said you wanted to talk. What about?” I asked, after she had taken a sip and I was back at the sofa.
“I ... yes ... of course.” Claire collected herself. “Honey, I came to apologize.”
All three of them looked at me like it was my turn to say something now. I wasn’t sure what they expected, however. Then it suddenly hit me. The last time I had heard about Claire, it was after John had given her the good news that I was willing to give her another chance. Though, in my opinion, he had grossly misrepresented my words.
“Okay. What for?”
“For ambushing you on Christmas Eve. I’m sorry if that caused any problems with your job. I was ... desperate. But John apparently told you already. He told me that you wanted to know exactly how we got to that point, and I want to give this to you.”
This was taking quite a toll out of her. Then she started looking around, until Danielle handed her the mangled paper I had seen her hold when she was standing in front of the gate.
“I thought ... I was afraid ... If I tried to just tell you, you’d get mad at me and tell me to leave before I could finish. Then I would never get the chance to actually apologize. So ... I wrote it down.”
As she looked at me pleadingly, I was disturbed at how much it affected me. Just like there was genuine hurt before, now there was genuine hope and sadness in her eyes. On an impulse, I took the paper out of her outstretched hand and nodded. It was actually multiple pages of paper. Again, I was slightly disturbed at how much it affected me when Claire’s visible worry was replaced by a relieved and hopeful smile.
“Okay. I’ll read it.”
“Thank you, Honey.” she whispered.
“But it’ll have to wait, since I have some things to take care of before that.”
When I said that, I was fully expecting them to get the hint and give me the space I obviously needed. I thought wrong.
“Of course, Honey. Take as long as you need. I’m just glad you accepted it.” Claire said, not making an effort to get up from the sofa. “Is there anything we can help you with? Do you need anything from the pharmacy?”
“Yes, I could use a little peace and quiet. So, if you could go home, that would be awesome.” I said calmly while extending my good arm to gesture towards the door, though Claire looked like I slapped her.
“But ... Honey, don’t you need someone to help you?” Claire asked, as she got off the sofa and stood in front of me, looking concerned.
“No, I really don’t need help. I’m good. You can leave.”
“Honey, you’re clearly hurting. Please, let me help you!” she implored, but I REALLY didn’t want them to.
“I don’t need, nor do I want, YOUR help! Now, for the THIRD time, I’d like you to leave!” I finally snapped, and the effect was imminent.
Claire’s shoulders had slumped and her head was hanging again. As she was looking at the floor, I could still see the tears creep into her eyes before she quietly spoke.
“Of course, Honey. I understand. I’ll leave you be. I’m sorry.”
And with that, she turned and walked out through the door. I didn’t care for John’s unhappy look before he followed her outside. Danielle, however, stayed rooted to her spot.
“What?” I asked, challenging her to try me at that moment, though she didn’t bite. When she opened her mouth, it sounded more understanding than accusing.
“I don’t blame you, Tim. But you need to know that she really is suffering. I spent a lot of time with her since they moved in with us. She does love you. And she is desperately looking for ways to gain your forgiveness.”
Then she turned and followed after the other two. I hobbled to the door and locked it, but on a whim, I activated the monitor. I saw Claire slowly walk towards the gate, her shoulders shaking and one hand covering her eyes, John close behind her.
I took another deep breath to steady myself, just like before I opened the door for them, and turned to my coffee table where Claire’s letter was waiting for me. It took me a long time, during which I simply stood there and looked at it, before I sat back down and started reading.
My dear youngest Child,
I love you. I’m sorry I lost sight of that fact. I know I deserve every punishment you could ever want me to endure, but I am scared even that might not be enough to gain your forgiveness. Because, the more I think about what happened and when it started, the more I find that I need to apologize. But, in all honesty, I know that I have no excuse for what I did to you.