“Don’t blame yourself for this. If you didn’t realize, it was because Tess didn’t want you to realize. Probably to protect you.”
That startled me. As we sat there, my head leaned into my mothers breasts while she played with my hair, my mind wandered back to the months between Tess’ move and her death. I remembered how often she had encouraged me to find someone else during all those phone conversations we had. How she encouraged me to go out with the guys from work, after I had confessed how they took me to a strip club. How she made me promise to “keep going and hang on”.
Until that very moment, I had always thought that was Tess’ way of telling me that something was going to happen, and I failed her by not understanding it. But now, after hearing Claire’s explanation for it, I might have been wrong about that. For the first time, I allowed myself to view those events from a new perspective. Maybe Claire was right. Maybe that really was Tess’ way to tell me that I had to move on. Or, maybe, that was just wishful thinking.
My arms wrapped around Cliare’s waist and pulled her into my lap, though there was nothing sexual about it. She let it happen, but continued to hold my head to her chest and comfort me, as I held her tight and thought about what she had said. After a good fifteen minutes, my mind had calmed down enough to reach a conclusion. Wishful thinking or not, I knew I couldn’t go on like this. If I wanted to make my relationship with Mia work, I had to let go of my doubts about Tess.
“When Mia left, I looked at the pictures. I thought having my girlfriend over while that wall is plastered with pictures of my Ex would be ... you know...” I started to explain without pulling my head away from Claire, but my voice trailed off.
“Oh.” Claire remarked. She thought about what I had said for a moment, before she jumped up and rushed into the bedroom she shared with Ava. When she returned, she carried some kind of black box that had a power cord dangling from it.
“What’s that?”
“First of all, you shouldn’t feel bad about having pictures of Tess in your apartment.” Claire proclaimed sternly. “The woman is an important part of your life. ‘Is’, not ‘was’. Without her, you wouldn’t be who you are today. That is something Mia should appreciate. It’s also not like you build Tess a shrine here, Honey. But if you feel like you want to make room for new pictures, I think this would be a good compromise.”
She finally handed me that black object she was holding, and I found out that it was a digital picture frame. I studied it for a moment, then regarded Claire with newfound admiration.
“I could leave the ones that also show me, and put the ones that only show Tess on this.” I said, holding the frame and starting to smile.
“Exactly! You’d still have her photos, you wouldn’t get rid of them, but you could put up photos of you and Mia right next to the ones of you and Tess. That would show Mia that she’s on the same level.” Claire said happily again, and beamed at me.
I couldn’t help it. I got off the armchair, pulled her close, and wrapped her into a bearhug.
“Thank you, Mom.” I whispered next to her ear while my hands pulled her into me.
She released a flattering breath upon hearing my words, but I soon felt her respond by wrapping her arms around my torso and returning the hug. We stood there, unmoving, for a long while before I let go, though I got the impression that Mom would have preferred to keep it going for a bit longer.
During the following week, the improvements in my life became apparent. Mom and Ava were happily skipping around the apartment, despite the divorce proceedings looming over us. In school, Mia wasted no time to let everyone know about our new relationship status by putting up a blatant display of affection whenever we met up during breaks or for lunch. Though, I could see that not all of her Cheerleader friends were too happy about it. I guessed not all of them shared Mia’s sentiment about dating younger guys not being a problem.
The Valentine’s Day Date with Mia turned out to be a real challenge. I could now freely admit that I actually loved Mia, and we had grown a lot closer during the weeks we had spent together, but I was still mostly in the dark about what she expected from a boyfriend.
When I tried to get some ideas on reddit, most of what was suggested turned out to be completely useless. Things like “Help out in a soup kitchen”, which was useless because she did that with her family anyway, even if I could see what that had to do with Valentine’s Day in the first place. All the suggestions about ice skating, dancing, and hiking, fell flat because of my bum leg. Finally, I found a post that got me on the right track. It recommended looking for unusual places in my town.
Mia was a little wary, and maybe also a little disappointed, when I told her to dress casually for our date, but when I showed up at her house to pick her up, I was glad to see that she followed my recommendation.
“So...” she started, with apprehension in her voice. “I take it we’re volunteering somewhere?”
“No. As much as I respect people for doing it, I don’t see what that has to do with Valentine’s Day.” That made her perk up. “Just wait, it’s a little way’s off, but I think you’ll like it.”
We drove for almost forty-five minutes before we arrived at a rather inconspicuous storefront and entered. I paid four-hundred dollars for the room, and they handed us those paper-onesies and safety goggles that made Mia look at me weirdly. Then they led us into the backroom, which was decorated and furnished like a regular office, handed us a couple of small sledgehammers, and left us alone.
“What is this?” Mia asked, not completely baffled.
“It’s called a Rage Room.” I grinned.
“A what?”
“A Rage Room. Everything you see here? Smash it to your heart’s content! Go nuts!”
“You’re joking!” she laughed.
“No! I hear it’s surprisingly freeing and relaxing. If you don’t want to, they also have axe throwing next door.” I offered, and saw her eyeing the room with a small grin on her face. That grin grew wider the longer she looked around.
A little unsure if she should really do it, she lifted the hammer while looking at me questioningly. When I gave her an encouraging nod, she let the hammer come down and dive right through a vase on the desk. She shrieked a little as the water and shards flew against the wall, but was very soon over her initial shock.
Just a few days ago, I had thought that she looked entirely too happy when she told me about post orgasm torture. Now that girl was entirely too happy while she smashed that office into pieces, loudly laughing and squealing with every impact of her hammer. At one point, she simply ripped a picture frame off the wall and threw it across the room. After roughly thirty minutes, we had nothing left to destroy, and, as soon as we were out of those whole-body-condoms, she threw herself at me and kissed me in the most heated and passionate way she ever had.
“You know,” she panted after breaking the kiss. “I think now I understand what the whole idea behind The Purge is.”
“I take it you enjoyed yourself?” I laughed.
“I had no idea these places even existed! That was super fun! Thank you!” she nodded, and gave me another kiss. “But you said something about Axe throwing?”
I looked at her in amazement.
“We just spent half an hour swinging heavy hammers, and now you want to throw axes!?”
“Kinda, yeah.” she confirmed, casually shrugging her shoulders.
“How much stamina do you have!? Cheerleading is scary as hell!”