“Oh.” June didn’t smirk.
I didn’t have any idea why I insisted on keeping the last name given to me by that bastard I hated, but I did. I was younger at the time, and I’ve gotten used to the name. For her own part, Kristen loves her last name, and I wasn’t sure what she would do when we married.
“How likely is it for a marginal gymnast sophomore to become a varsity cheerleader.”
“Expect thirty or forty applicants for ten positions.”
“Three to one against.”
“I don’t think Jackie would compromise the squad. Lynette and Camille worked very hard to get the squad where it is today. Jackie is our tie to those two special girls. Besides, Sherry is the flame behind the cheerleaders now.”
“Sherry?” I asked.
“She’s easily the most gifted, and she keeps pushing everybody to try harder. She tried to get us to practice more than once a week last year, and almost succeeded. If it weren’t for that stupid sex thing that Lynette and Camille came up with, she’d almost certainly be the captain. As it is, she still runs things.”
“I’m worried about Merry, June.”
“Why?”
“She doesn’t seem to have any drive.”
June shrugged. “People such as Archy and you get heart attacks at a young age.”
I remember Camille telling me that I was heart attack material. Did these girls all talk about me?
“How did you get on the squad?” I asked, changing the subject.
“I wanted to become a cheerleader, and some people told me that black girls just don’t become cheerleaders. That focused me to get onto the squad, and since Lynette and Camille are color blind, I got on.”
I laughed. “Color blind. I like that.”
“It’s rare, Jim. I know that you notice my skin color, but you only mention it to get a rise out of people. Our first time together, I kept called you ‘white boy’ to get a rise out of you. It failed.”
“I noticed your color, June,” I said. “I admit that I was curious about the black/white thing when you asked me if Kris and I could get together with Archy and you in the hot tub, but I had some time to get over that.”
“I don’t think many boys would have done that.”
“I did see your blackness, June,” I said. “It’s similar to being given the keys to any car on the lot. You pick the exotic, foreign one. You drive it around, and you might be curious about how it feels different than other cars. But when you fall in love with that car, then it may have been the fact that it was foreign that brought it to your attention, but it’s the fact that it’s a great car that keeps you driving it.”
June smiled. “I’ve known many who have ‘tried black and then went back.’ We even have people that discriminate backwards. They are against people putting ‘cream in the coffee.’”
I laughed. I hadn’t heard either of those expressions. “Part of what attracted me to you was your exotic beauty. But you can ask any girl that I love, it’s their inner beauty that keeps me with them. You have that, June.”
“I know you think that, Jim,” June said softly. “You tell me that all the time, even when I’m Cunt Whore.”
“Do you think you could be a big sister for Merry?” I asked. “When we first met, she loved me because I was the big brother that she never had. It occurs to me that Merry never had a big sister.”
“Neither did you,” June pointed out.
“I’m not a girl.”
“I have no big sister. I have no idea what she’d be looking for.”
“I have no idea what being a big brother was supposed to be; I just played it by ear. What would you look for in a big sister?”
June was silent for a few moments. “This is important to you, isn’t it?”
“You are important to me. Kristen is important to me. Merry is my step-sister who sees me as her big brother. She’s at that age when she really needs help that I can’t give her, and I want the best in the world for her.”
June nodded. “How do you do it?”
Before I recognized the question, I answered, “Do what?”
June didn’t answer.
“What if I invited you for supper at my parents’ house? My mom likes making macaroni.”
“Am I allowed to wear clothes?”
The two of us laughed.
My mom was happy to see me for supper. I told her I was bringing a friend, but even so, she was a bit surprised when I brought June in. My mom didn’t miss a beat, however.
“Hello, June,” Mom said. “Jim tells me you’re a cheerleader.”
“Yes, I am. Jim is sort of the cheerleaders’ adopted pet.”
“Hey!” I protested, but I heard this before.
Merry came over. “I’m Merry!”
June smiled. “I remember you as the fisherman!”
“The fisher-WOMAN!”
Everybody laughed.
“Jim used to write music upstairs. He used to let me listen in while he wrote music.”
“Do you play?” June asked.
Merry shook her head. “I’ve got ten thumbs when it comes to the piano.”
“The band is becoming the popular activity at school,” June said. “A lot of people from your grade are doing music.”
Merry shrugged. “What’s it like?”
“What’s what like?” June asked, confused.
“Being a cheerleader.”
“They’re all the same as me, Merry. They’re blonde, they are dumb, and they date football jocks.”
“You’re not blonde!” Merry said, laughing. “I’m blonde, but I’m not dumb. Can you introduce me to a jock?”
“June’s boyfriend is Tiny Jonas. Do you remember him?”
“That big mother… I mean, that big guy?”
June fell in love with Merry at this point, I believe.
We ate a great supper. Afterward, Merry invited June into her room—her inner sanctum. I visited my room, and found that I now had little nostalgia for it. After all, I lived in this room when my father lived in the house. Now, most of the important things I owned were over at the apartment. I still stashed a few nondescript jeans and T-shirts and stuff in the event I needed to crash there for a night, but I had a lot of older friends who didn’t mind driving me, so I could usually get transportation back to the apartment. There was also the limo service, which had many times offered to take me out at night instead of just during the morning, in order to earn more of Kristen’s money.
I spent time with my parents in the living room watching T.V. The TV show M.A.S.H was playing. I didn’t mind that series, since it was anti-war and showed a rather funny sense of humor to it.
At about nine, June and Merry came downstairs. “Need a ride home, Jim?” June asked, knowing the answer.
“Sure, June.”
I kissed my mother and Merry good-bye.
“She’s adorable. She’s almost exactly like me at her age.”
“I didn’t notice that she’s black,” I said, trying to get a rise out of June.
I failed.
“Do you think you can get her on the squad?”
“I put the seeds of the idea there. Do you realize that she has a serious crush on you?”
“So does nearly everybody at school,” I said, groaning.
“She said that you watched her masturbate.”
How many people has Merry told this to?
“How serious is it, June? Do I have to worry about being attacked by my sister?”
June shook her head. “No, but you could possibly turn her off all boys. Unrequited love isn’t pretty, Jim.”
Just great. Let’s dump so more responsibility onto Jim.
“What should I do?”
“You’ve dropped off the map, as far as she’s concerned,” June said. “New Year’s Eve was the high point of her life. Then you disappeared from her life. Then… you need her for the Fisherman song. You pop in and then pop out, and she finds it frustrating. She doesn’t want to fuck you, Jim. She wants to talk to you, but you seem to be afraid of her.”