Lynette said, “Kris has a weird way of showing that. She throws women at you. I bet you that Jackie will share your bed tonight. I’ll be in the spare bedroom.”
I shook my head. “I’ll take that bet.”
Lynette came over to me and kissed me tenderly.
We were interrupted by the intercom. “Miss Swift?”
“Kris is in the billiard room, Wally. Is somebody at the gate?” We decided to rename the game room to the “billiard room,” because the security people sometimes called it a “pool room” getting us confused with the Solarium in the main house.
“Patty Nadal. Just calling to let you guys know. She’s on the regular guest list.”
“I’ll let her know,” I assured Wally.
“Thanks, Jim!”
Since Lynette was closer to the intercom button, she pressed it and said, “Patty has just arrived, Kris.”
Kristen’s voice answered. “Thank you, Lynette. Let me know if we should come upstairs.”
From the sound of Kristen’s voice, I could tell that she was beating Jackie on the pool table. I wondered when she’d start having Jackie bet her clothes. As I thought that, I realized that Lynette was quite accurate about Kristen’s intentions downstairs. I still didn’t have any intention of losing my bet.
I turned to Lynette. “Did Kristen ever tell you how to cook that rössti dish that she learned about in Europe?”
“No, but I know the dish,” Lynette answered.
“You can cook it?”
“Of course.”
“I think Kris has some porterhouses in the fridge. They would go together, right?”
Lynette laughed. “Do you plan on burning steaks?”
My cooking abilities were the subject of a running joke in the household, despite the fact that I rarely burned anything except when people interrupted me when I was making popcorn. “What would go with the rössti, then?”
“It’s a Swiss dish,” Lynette said.
“Not Austrian?” I asked.
“Swiss,” Lynette said firmly.
“All right. What else is Swiss? Only thing I can think of is cheese.”
Lynette shook her head. “Most anything German or French. Schnitzel?”
“Ooh,” I said. “I had one at the Berghoff with mushroom gravy!”
“Jägerschnitzel,” Lynette said.
“You seem to know the cuisine very well.”
Lynette shrugged. “My Nana emigrated from Germany. My mom taught me the recipes.”
“Can we make that?”
Lynette squinted her eyes, thinking. “I don’t think we have veal cutlets.”
“That shouldn’t be a problem,” I said. I went over to the intercom and buzzed the main house. Harry answered.
“Do you have veal cutlets at the main house?” I asked.
Harry answered, “I’d have to see. It’s not on the menu for tonight. Can you wait a moment?”
“Of course,” I said.
After about a minute, Harry came back. “I’m sorry. No veal.”
Before I could ask Lynette, she answered me. “Ask for pork cutlets.”
“How about pork cutlets?” I said to Harry.
“One second…” There was a slight pause and then, “We have a pork tenderloin.”
I turned to Lynette, who nodded. I asked Lynette, “What else do we need?”
“Are you going for American or German?” Lynette asked.
“Huh?”
“In America, it would be a burgundy gravy with mushrooms. In Germany, it’s a cream-based gravy with wild mushrooms.”
I went back to the intercom. “Any wild mushrooms?”
There was a pause. “Portobello and those white ones. None wild.”
I looked at Lynette, the expert. She said “Portobello.”
“How many?” I asked.
“Half a pound.”
“How much pork?”
“Two pounds.”
“Anything else?”
“The kitchen has everything else.”
“Can you spare half a pound of the Portobellos and two pounds of pork loin?” I asked Harry.
“No problem, Jim.”
“I’ll run over.”
“We’ll have your ingredients ready.”
I clicked off and gave Lynette a big hug. Lynette walked toward our kitchen to start putting things together.
As soon as I got to the door of the main house, Harry opened the door carrying a platter with a couple of pork tenderloins as well as some rather huge brown mushrooms. I hoped that Lynette knew what she was doing, but I knew that she was an excellent cook.
When I got back to the house, Lynette assembled most of the ingredients that she needed. She was wearing an apron, as she was going to be frying (sauteing, Lynette would correct me).
Lynette cut the meat, and then took a hammer-shaped meat tenderizer and pounded the loin and created beautiful pork cutlets. She told me to season the cutlets and then dip them in beaten eggs and dredge them in flour. There was a pan on the stove and she added some oil and instructed me to cook the cutlets two at a time.
Meanwhile, Lynette got out another pan on a different burner, and I watched her grate some potatoes for the rössti.
“Think the Weiner Schnitzel is ready to turn?” I asked.
“Schweineschnitzel,” Lynette corrected me.
“Huh?”
“That’s what it’s called when it’s pork.”
“Are they ready to turn?”
Lynette lifted an edge of one of the cutlets with a fork. “Give it another couple of minutes.”
The two of us worked together, with me taking all the cues from Lynette. When the first couple of cutlets were done, Lynette told me to put them in the convection oven on the “warm” setting, and then I did the second pair.
Lynette finished the rössti and it was in the warming oven. Meanwhile, she adjusted a pot that had string beans in boiling water. “You might want to let those two love birds know that supper is ready.”
“You’re going to lose your bet tonight, Lynette. I promise you a fun night!”
Lynette looked at me and gave me a soft smile. “Sometimes, I forget who you are, Jim. Just a few moments ago, I was thinking of you like Danny.” Lynette was referring to her younger brother. “You’re not just the boyfriend of my girlfriend, but you’re Oogie.”
I rolled my eyes. “Please, Lynette. I’m not that wonderful person that people talk about. If you knew some of the deep dark secrets that I hide, you’d find it difficult to like me.”
“I know you have secrets,” Lynette said. “You told them to Kris, Cammy, and others, right?”
“Patty,” I added, suddenly wondering why we hadn’t heard from her after she arrived on the property.
“Those people still love you.”
“Yeah. I’m just not perfect, though.”
“I love you.”
I looked at Lynette. “You love Kristen.”
“The human heart is big enough to love more than just another person.”
I remembered having almost the same conversation in reverse before with Camille.
“You know, Lynette, I truly love you, too.”
The two of us hugged for a moment.
“Since you’re not Pussy Slave tonight, could you do me a favor?”
“What?”
“I bought some lingerie from Kristen’s catalogs a few months ago. Since you and Kris are the same size, I’d like to see you in a particular set.”
Lynette’s eyebrows raised. “I couldn’t wear something you bought for Kris.”
“No,” I said, truthfully. “I bought them because they appealed to me. Kris wrote out the check without even looking at what I ordered. I did buy a special pair for Patty for her birthday in November.”