Merry didn’t seem amused at my attempt at humor, and she finally said, sulking, “I guess not.”
Neither one of us spoke for a few more minutes, until Merry suddenly blurted out, “It’s not fair.”
“What’s not fair?”
“You and I could be at Wendy’s house. We were both invited.”
“Who told you that?” I asked.
“I heard you on the phone.”
“Shit! Have you been listening on the phone again?”
“No, you jerk,” Merry answered, haughtily. “I heard you talking when I walked into the den yesterday. I wasn’t on the fucking phone!”
“Sorry, Merry,” I said. “I didn’t mean to accuse you. By the way, your dad would kill you if he heard you use the F-word.”
“You use it all the time, and you’re changing the subject,” Merry pointed out. “We were invited and you said, ‘No.’”
I nodded, and then said, quietly, “I’m not sure about your dad, but I know for a fact that Mom wouldn’t have allowed it. Think about it, Short—… Merry… We’d be at a party. People will be drinking. I don’t drive, and neither do you. We’d need somebody to take us home…”
“But…”
“Please hear me out, Merry,” I said, not wanting to let her interrupt me. “The girls can sleep over if they want to do so. They don’t have to go out on the road. In addition, it’s not just them. There will be plenty of other people drinking and driving tonight. Everybody will be having champagne at midnight. That’s why Mom and your dad are staying overnight in Chicago.”
“You make it sound…”
“Merry, my own fucking father was a fucking drunk!” I said, my voice raised with those words that were fueled by my emotions. “I know what it’s like. He nearly killed Mom and me and God knows how many other people on more than one occasion when he insisted on driving. He did get into accidents, you know! He’d always say it was somebody else’s fault, but we knew. I don’t ever want to be in that situation again, and I don’t want to hear about anything like that happening to you. I love you too much!”
Merry was silent for a long moment.
“I’m… I’m sorry,” Merry said, softly.
“I’m sorry, too, kid,” I said, lowering my voice. “I mean, Merry. I didn’t mean to yell at you that way. It’s just a sore subject.”
“I… I knew about your father and that your mom left him because he drank. I didn’t know much more, though.”
This was getting into an emotional scene. “Don’t worry about it.”
“Shortcake,” Merry said.
“Huh?”
“You can call me Shortcake.”
I moved closer to my step-sister and pulled her into a long hug. “I love you, Shortcake.”
“You don’t talk about your father much,” Merry observed.
“I don’t like the man. He drank and he did other bad things. His name was James, and that’s why I hate it when people call me that.”
Merry nodded. “I heard he hit you and your mother.”
“Yeah,” I answered. “He wasn’t a nice person. I mean… sometimes, he could be this wonderful person, and it was easy to see why Mom married him. At other times, he was drunk and ugly and a big fucking bully. He sort of turned me off fathers.”
“He’s your father,” Merry said. “You might feel different if he were gone. Like my mom.”
I hugged Merry harder. “I know about your mom, and it must be hard. I cannot think of how difficult it would be for Mom to pass away like that. I’m glad your dad and Mom found each other. They both seem very happy.”
Merry hugged me back, but didn’t answer.
We went back to watching Guy Lombardo in silence.
We watched the ball descend on Times Square in relative silence. It was still an hour to midnight where we were in the Midwest, so it didn’t mean much to us, except to watch people make fools of themselves on the streets of New York.
“What is the significance of the ball?” Merry asked.
I shrugged. “Beats the fuck out of me!”
Merry laughed. “You used the F-word!”
“Fuckin-A right!”
Merry giggled.
During a commercial about a half hour before midnight, Merry said, “Jim?”
“Yes?”
“You said you love me.”
“I do.”
“Will you kiss me at midnight?”
I didn’t need really to think to answer this one. “Of course.” I loved that little girl—who was quickly becoming a woman—something fierce. Unlike most brothers and sisters that I knew, we hardly ever fought. Even, like tonight, when we disagreed, we easily saw each other’s side of things and were willing to cut the each other slack. I think it may have been because we didn’t grow up all our lives with one another, and we each secretly hoped for a little sister or bigger brother and finally got our wishes.
Merry turned back to watch television. About five minutes later, she started up again. “Jim?”
“Yes?”
“I love you, too. I’m glad your mom married Dad. He wasn’t really happy after my Mom’s illness. I mean, he tried to put on a happy face when he was with me, but I could still tell. He was lonely, and… and…” Her voice died off.
This was getting very emotional for me. “Not only is Mom and your dad happy, but I finally have a kid sister that I can pick on.” I playfully gave Merry a punch on her arm without putting a single ounce of energy behind it.
Merry didn’t answer me, and I knew better than to push the conversation much further.
I looked at my step-sister. Her eyes looked as though they were ready to break out in tears. I finally couldn’t stand it. “What’s wrong, Merry?”
“I’m really sorry about before,” Merry said slowly. “I just thought going to a party would be fun. I didn’t think…”
“It might have been fun,” I agreed. “But you know that I did make Mom a promise that I wouldn’t be out on the road tonight. I promised her I’d stay home with you.”
“Do you miss Kristen?”
Merry had a silly way of changing the subject quickly. “Yes. I miss her very much.”
“The two of you make a nice couple.”
“Thank you, Merry. What brings that up?”
Merry shrugged. “I was wondering what it would be like to have a boyfriend.”
This was getting interesting. I looked at my step-sister and asked, “Do you have anybody special in mind?”
Merry shook her head no, but the blush on her face told me otherwise.
“Any boy would be lucky to have a wonderful girl like you,” I assured her.
Merry didn’t answer, and pretended to watch the television. Again, I figured that it was wisest not to pursue this conversation any further.
The local station was showing New Year’s celebrations that were happening closer to home than New York City. There were a few parties shown live in Chicago when I noticed the ballroom of the hotel where our parents were. Merry and I both moved closer to the television and squinted and looked around to see if we could find our parents, but we were unsuccessful. The scene was crowded, there was a reporter superimposed over the scene, and there were also subtitles indicating the name of the hotel. It was a frustrating minute and a half for Merry and me, but it got our minds off our recent conversations. I think I noticed Kristen’s parents, but I couldn’t be sure.
A countdown to midnight started about a minute before midnight, and Merry and I waited for the start of the new year together. Merry would steal a glance at me, and I pretended not to notice.