I made my voice sound very apologetic. "Sorry, mom. I met a few friends at the mall, and we sort of just hung out together." I realized that this wasn’t untruthful at all.
My mom said, "Well, young man. When I say be home at ten, I mean it."
"Yes. I’m sorry," I said, sounding sincerely sorry.
Mom continued her lecture. "For all I know, you could have been found in the woods, the victim of strangers."
It was all I could do to stifle a smirk. Technically, I HAD been in the woods with strangers. I stood and listened, though.
Mom’s eyes finally softened. "C’mon, Jim. You’re usually a good boy. Don’t let me catch you coming home late again."
"OK," I said. And I wondered if I meant that I would never come home late, or that I just wouldn’t let her catch me doing so.
It wasn’t a good idea to dwell on this in the kitchen in front of my mother, so I kissed her good-night and headed upstairs to my bedroom.
And it wasn’t until I was upstairs that I had realized that I had already broken another promise that I had made to myself: I hadn’t kissed any of the girls after our adventure in the woods together.
I went to bed, thoughts of walking naked through the girls' locker room having been shoved aside. I was now ruminating on the idea that I was as bad as Patrice’s boy friend Donny.
Chapter 5
I didn’t sleep very well that night. My mind kept nagging at me for being very boorish with the three girls last night, and Marla the previous day.
I couldn’t believe that I had accepted sexual favors from the three girls, but afterwards didn’t think to give them at least a kiss good-bye. My best friend’s sister, Patrice, had told me that she felt like a cheap whore when a previous boyfriend didn’t kiss her after she had performed oral sex on him. I had promised myself that I would at least show appreciation for the things that people do for me.
The thing that made me feel worse was that I had even reminded myself that night to kiss them all afterwards. What a fucking jerk I was!
In my defense, I guess I could say that the last couple of days were my first experiences with members of the opposite sex. I was bound to make mistakes like that. But this rationalization rang hollow to me, as I rolled around restlessly in bed right then. My young mind kept needling at me constantly, telling me that inside I was no better than a rapist. And I couldn’t deny that. I had forced a bunch of girls to perform sexual favors for me.
Interestingly enough, never once did I think of actually getting rid of those tickets that had made the past few days happen!
The next morning, both my mom and Merry noticed my mood at breakfast.
"What’s the matter, dear?" Mom asked.
I yawned. "Didn’t get much sleep last night," I said, not wanting to lie to my mother.
Mothers seem to have an immediate reaction to such statements, and mine was no exception. "That’s what you get for being out so late las night." My mom had the uncanny ability to twist things around to remind you how you managed to mess up. It made no difference that I knew, and she knew, that my coming home forty-five minutes late from the mall wasn’t the cause for me to lose a lot of sleep.
I knew better than to respond to this other than say, "I guess."
My mother seemed mollified.
I ate my cereal in silence, not wanting to look at anybody, and still feeling like the worst person in the whole wide world. My mother reminding me about breaking curfew didn’t help how I felt about myself.
After breakfast, I cleaned my bowl and spoon and went back to my bedroom. In the relative privacy there, I thought back on my actions of the last couple of days. I had considered myself a rather reasonable person, and had once thought myself to be a gentleman. How could I have changed so drastically and so quickly?
There was a gentle knock on the door of my room.
"Who is it?" I asked, sullenly.
My step-sister’s voice came from the other side. "You have a phone call."
"Thanks, Merry. I’ll pick it up downstairs." I wondered what Jack wanted; Jack being the only person that ever called me on the phone.
"It’s a girl," Merry added as she went back downstairs.
A girl? This couldn’t be good news.
I went downstairs to the study. It was empty and I picked up the phone. I heard the click as Merry hung up the other extension.
"This is Jim," I said.
"This is Patty," came the voice. After a few seconds pause, she added, "from last night."
I remembered Patty, of course. She had given me her first ever blow job last night. But what was she doing calling me?
Worried about what she wanted, I said, hesitantly, "Uh, huh. What’s up?"
Patty’s voice seemed concerned. "It’s about last night. I know we’re supposed to meet at the mall tomorrow, but can we meet today? I need to talk to you."
Oh, shit. She must remember about last night. Didn’t I tell the girls to forget what happened? NO! I HADN’T! And now she’s remembered!
I knew that I was totally fucked now. But I had to answer her. "Um… it’s about ten minutes to get there from here. Let me ask my mom if I can go there…"
I put down the phone and went to find my mom. I remembered her mentioning my getting home late last night, and that she obviously hadn’t forgotten it. Would she allow me to go to the mall this morning?
I considered — then rejected — the idea of handing my mom one of my lucky tickets. If Patty and the other two girls remembered what I did last night, then I would just be compounding any problems that happened by putting my mom under as well. And, of course, I had promised myself that I wouldn’t take advantage of my mother. At least THAT was one promise that I had kept, so far. Not a biggie, but it was still something in my favor.
Mom was doing some ironing. "Mom… can I hang out at the mall?"
Mom looked at me. "Honestly, Jim. I have no idea what you kids do at the mall all day long!"
I nodded. "I know. But can I go?"
Mom thought and said, "Well, I shouldn’t, after you showed up here close to eleven o’clock last night!"
"Oh, Mom! I said I was sorry! I didn’t notice the time!"
My mother looked at me. "Well, at least you aren’t moping around. Do you have money for lunch?"
I had a few dollars… enough to purchase something at one of the restaurants at the mall. "Yeah."
"OK. Dinner is at six. Think you can make it?"
My mother had asked that sarcastically, but had a wry smile on her face.
"Yeah. I promise."
"OK, Jim."
I moved closer to where she was, at her ironing board, and reached up and kissed her. "Thanks, Mom!"
I went back to the phone, happy that my mother was no longer mad at me, until I recalled the dread that I felt when I realized that Patty had remembered what I made the girls do last night.
"I… uh… I can be at the mall in ten minutes," I said on the phone.
There was a pause, and then Patty said, "It might be better if I pick you up at the corner where we dropped you off last night. We really need to talk."
"Fine," I said, with a mixture of regret and insecurity.
I heard Patty hang up, and then I eventually heard dial tone. At least Merry had really hung up. When she was a couple of years younger, she had the annoying habit of just pretending to hang up and then eavesdropping on conversations. I think her dad may have corrected her behavior on that, but waiting to hear dial tone after hanging up had become habit.