"Drive to the mall," I told Patty.
Patty smiled and drove the few blocks to the mall.
I had Patty park in an area away from the mall, where there were few cars parked, mostly belonging to employees of the stores at the mall.
"Have a ticket," I told Patty as soon as she was parked.
"You have one wish," she intoned.
"Tell me what you really mean about you doing everything I tell you to do. I want to know why you are doing this."
"Your wish is my command."
I got a bit more than I bargained for.
In tenth grade, Patty had sex for the first time. Her boyfriend was a junior, and Patty didn’t tell me the name of the guy. Anyway, he seemed to think that in return for him buying her dinner and taking her to a movie — an expenditure of about ten dollars, Patty added — he deserved to fuck her.
Patty didn’t know the boy’s intentions when he asked her to sit in the back seat of his car for a few minutes. And when she found out his intentions, she explained that she didn’t see things the same way as he did. Maybe a bit of kissing or stuff, but Patty had no intention of losing her virginity in the back seat of some jock’s car.
The two of them argued, and Patty lost the argument when her boyfriend, fed up, simply pushed her down, pinned her arms, proceeded to pull Patty’s dress over her head and ripped her panties off her hips. Patty was very scared. Despite the fact that she was not ready for him, the boyfriend pushed into her anyway.
Patty said that his penis burned as it went in. The boyfriend didn’t seem interested in her pain, and Patty felt like her insides were being ripped in two as he pushed right through her hymen on his way to a quick orgasm — the boy didn’t even last a minute.
Patty’s boyfriend even had the fucking nerve to call her a "good piece of ass," which added to Patty’s humiliation, shame, and betrayal.
Patty felt dirty and terrible inside afterwards, silently blaming herself for what happened. She never told her mother or any of her friends. She also worried about pregnancy for a few weeks until she finally got her period.
Patty had nightmares about the rape for months afterwards, and felt extreme guilt when she heard that the jock was dating other girls. Would those girls be subject to the same cruel behavior, and if so, would it be Patty’s fault?
The rape occupied Patty’s mind for almost a half year. She couldn’t bear to contemplate going out on a date again or even touch herself in the privacy of her own bed, thinking her body as having been violated.
Patty’s friend Camille (whom I had met the previous night) knew that Patty was hesitant about dating, but eventually she was able to get Patty to go out on a double date with a rather nerdy guy.
It took some time, but Patty finally began to get over the rape and her fears. She started dating again, but was careful to avoid being trapped like she had been the first time. She also started using birth control in order to avoid the scare of pregnancy.
The second time Patty had sex, it was she that instigated it. She thought that she liked the guy she was dating, and they had gone out a few times. Patty had started to feel like her old self.
The two of them had taken to parking at Lake Shore Point, a popular place for teenage necking. They started with kisses, and on the second date, graduated to petting, getting heavier and heavier.
When Patty decided to go all the way, the boy was eager to please. They did the deed, but it had left Patty particularly unfulfilled. She didn’t orgasm, nor had she been able to achieve one at her own hands ever since the rape.
She talked with the school psychologist about her problems, avoiding discussing the specifics of her rape and her failure to achieve orgasm, things she felt weren’t appropriate discussion with a school official. Despite her avoiding those topics, the psychologist had suggested that maybe Patty was afraid to let go. The shrink tried to get to the reasons behind Patty’s inhibitions, but by the beginning of this summer, the school year had ended and Patty stopped visiting him.
Patty gave up on boys once again, thinking that she would have to live the life of a hermit. She would never again enjoy sex. There would always be that part of her life that forever would be denied to her.
Until last night.
For some reason, despite the fact that Patty saw me as a younger boy, she noticed that I seemed to radiate sexuality and confidence. She and her two friends took me to their favorite clearing at Kneely Park. And Patty noticed that whatever I suggested, all the girls — including Patty — would do. They all stripped for me, stripped me, and I even had her friends discuss their sexual fantasies and openly masturbate in front of me.
Before Patty had realized what had happened, she had achieved a small — but to Patty, a very important — orgasm. A part of Patty’s life, which Patty had never thought would be available to her, had come back.
Patty had watched as Camille stroked me to a messy orgasm, and Patty offered to get some Kleenex to clean up. Camille instead suggested that she could simply lick up the mess, which had shocked Patty. The idea of putting a boy’s sperm in her mouth seemed repulsive, although she heard stories that some girls did it.
Camille knew that Patty was very sensitive about boys, although she didn’t know the specifics about the reason, so Camille didn’t press the subject. But I asked Patty if she ever performed oral sex. She shook her head no, and then Camille suggested that she give my semen a little taste. Patty didn’t want to.
And then I told her, "Come on, give it a try."
And Patty found herself — to her amazement — licking it, feeling the slimy fluid on her tongue. The whole idea made Patty a bit queasy.
Patty was about to tell us that she didn’t like it when I told her, "It’s not really disgusting."
And, just like that… all of a sudden, Patty somehow knew that I was right. Her mind had changed. It wasn’t disgusting. Patty eagerly returned to my lap, and eventually actually sucked me off, allowing me to shoot into her unsuspecting mouth, which caught her by surprise.
After the evening was over and we all went home, Patty continued to think about what happened during that night as she lay in bed. She replayed the events in her mind, over and over, masturbating as she did so. She managed to manipulate herself to three more orgasms, Each one was stronger than the last. Patty seemed to have come out of her shell.
Patty told me that she was in awe of me. Although she knew that I seemed to order her to do things, she realized that I had done it nicely. It was as if her own feelings were important to me. Patty knew that being able to make her do things, I could probably just have made her lick me off despite the fact that she thought it was disgusting, but I hadn’t done it that way.
The more she thought about me and the power that she saw in me, the more she realized that this was important to her. Patty had experienced four orgasms in one evening… and she attributed them all to me!
So, last night, Patty determined that she would be with me, and she would feel a freedom to do whatever I said. And she’d do it not because I had this weird power, but because she would want to. She knew that I was powerful, but gentle. I could probably easily make her comply with my wishes, but if I did, I’d do it in a way that would make her feel glad that she did what I wanted.
Patty found in me a powerful force, one that she would happily devote herself to.
I listened to Patty’s story in stunned silence.
In retrospect, having thought about her story for years since then, I can now see that Patty seemed to be riding on a pendulum. At one point in her life, she was miserable, unable to orgasm, all because a boy forced her into having sex. And then, all of a sudden, she finds herself happy, orgasmic, and all because a boy forced her into having sex. Of course, I didn’t make this connection at that time.