"Due to us?" I asked. "What the fuck did we do?"
Patty sighed. "You… we… showed her what unbridled power could do… how it could be used to extract revenge. Kristen told me the day we took her to Vaughn’s that she had always been afraid of having her parents fight her battles for her, but I guess when you showed her that you could use tickets to do really despicable things to her, she rationalized that it was all right for her to do the same in her own way."
"Those damned tickets again!"
Patty was in tears. "I didn’t see it coming, Jim. Maybe it’s my fault. Please don’t leave. You can’t use your tickets now, but you need to bring her back to normal. You love her too much to let her destroy her life — and yours! — like this."
Patty and I held each other, not quite hugging, but we were both sobbing. We needed each other’s strength. And… we both loved Kristen.
Finally, I realized that I really did love Kristen. I didn’t know if Patty’s analysis was exactly on the mark, I knew that Patty was pretty certain, and I had to admit that it fit everything that I had seen and experienced with Kristen. If I truly loved Kristen, I’d try to help, even if she called the police on me and put me in jail.
This was a situation that I had to play by ear. I sometimes worked very well that way, especially when my adrenaline was pumping, as it was now. I was able to win my mother over — on two separate occasions — and I was able to work my wrath via my tickets against Patrice and Kristen on separate occasions, although I wasn’t particularly proud of those times. But none of those situations had really been preplanned.
I felt that I needed to get an angle to bring Kristen around. But what did I have?
Kristen loved me. I knew that instinctively, and it wasn’t entirely due to her addiction to me. There was something deeper. Her tears before weren’t from frustration but from that deeper something.
However, I instinctively knew that using her love for me against her would be a severe mistake.
I knew that Kristen was lonely. I had spent the last week or so trying to bring her out of her shell. Again, that wasn’t something that I could use against her. And that also meant that I wouldn’t be able to use any of her new friends against her either.
I realized that maybe I was thinking this wrong. Why use anything against her?
I loved Kristen, and I know that Kristen loved me. She was fragile, as Patty had said. But instead of using her love for me against her, maybe I’d just show her how much we loved one another, and maybe let her figure it out.
Patty saw something in my face and said, "What are you thinking? I get scared when I see that expression in your face, Jim."
"I’m going to tell Kristen how much I love her. I will have to prove my love for her, somehow. And I will bring her back. If not, I’m gone, and it will be your job. She loves you, too, Patty."
Patty stared at me, realizing that I was indeed going for broke. She knew, as well as I did now, that if I did anything slightly incorrect, I’d be out of the house and could even end up flat on my ass in a prison cell before I could blink twice.
I steeled all my courage, and left Patty’s room, walking down past Kristen’s brother’s room and stood facing Kristen’s door.
I knocked on the door, hoping that I didn’t fuck up.
"Patty, I don’t want to talk about it," Kristen’s voice said. I could tell she was crying.
"It’s not Patty. It’s me… Jim. If you want me to leave, then I just want to say good-bye."
"No fucking way," Kristen spat. "You’re not going to trick me into taking one of your…"
"No. We don’t need to be face to face. You don’t want to see me again, and I’ll respect that."
Kristen didn’t answer for a few moments. Apparently, she had expected me to give her more of a fight. "So, what do you want?" she finally asked.
"To say good-bye. To say good-bye to the best thing that ever happened to me in my life. To realize that the one person in the world that could make me happy now hates my guts, and to figure out how to live with that knowledge. To hear your voice, one final time, tell me that you don’t love me."
"I HATE YOU!" Kristen sobbed.
Despite the venomous nature of her words, I noticed that she didn’t say she didn’t love me. I knew that there was a very slim possibility of hope. I sighed, and said back, through the door, "I was afraid of that."
I didn’t say anything more. I remained there, not having anything more to say.
For once, my quick mind failed me.
It must have been a couple of minutes before I heard Kristen’s voice. "Jim?"
"Kristen?" I answered.
"You’re still here?"
"Yes. I didn’t really say good-bye."
Another pause, about three minutes or so. Then I heard some sort of click. Was the Swift family monitors trying to locate me? If so, I’d leave quietly.
"Jim?"
"Yes, Kristen?"
"Did you say good-bye?"
"Do you want me to?"
Another pause. And then that click again. I finally realized what the click was. The pause would be exactly three minutes and forty seconds long, if I remembered properly. I didn’t have a watch to time it, though.
After exactly three minutes and forty seconds, Kristen called out again, "Jim?" She was really crying now.
I answered, "Kristen, I love you!"
The door flew open, and my naked blonde Goddess flew into my arms. "I love you, too! I’m sorry!"
"I’m sorry, too! May I come in?"
Despite her tears, Kristen looked at me, and said, "Those slacks look good on you."
I didn’t know how to respond. So far, I seemed to be doing well. But loving Kristen wasn’t a contest! It was going to be a full time job… yes! But it wasn’t a contest.
"Your skin looks great on you," I answered, not being in the state of mind where I was able to give her my typical male leer.
"I can get you out of those slacks," Kristen said, pulling me into her room.
"No," I answered sternly. "I need to talk with you."
Kristen looked at me as if she was a little girl being yelled at by a teacher. I had seen that look before, from Kristen crying her heart out at Wendy’s house. I remembered how fragile that Patty had said Kristen was, so I chose my words with care.
"Kris, I’ve told you that I love you. And I know that you love me. I even recorded it on a cassette that you have just been listening to. But you need to know that aside from being a lover, I’m a friend. If something is bothering you, PLEASE TALK TO ME!"
Kristen looked at me, nodding, but didn’t say anything.
I took Kristen’s pretty head in my hands, and kissed her on the nose. "You have two friends worried about your state of mind. You threw me out when I wanted to go slow with our sex life, and right now, Patty is worried that you might be slashing your wrists!"
"Really?" Kristen asked.
I didn’t bother answering Kristen.
"I guess I must seem like a wacko, huh?"
"A beautiful, wonderful wacko, maybe!"
"You’re hopeless."
"No," I corrected Kristen. "I’m hopeful. I’m hopeful that you’ll always love me. That we will still be able to live happily ever after."
Kristen grinned, wiping her tears away. "You’re truly hopeless! I love that about you!"
We kissed. The worst part was over, but we still needed to have a long talk. This wasn’t necessarily the time for that talk, but it would have to be soon.
The two of us found Patty and explained that we had made up. Patty hugged us both, happy for us.
My beautiful blonde Goddess looked over to me and looked at my pants. She was quite obvious about looking at my pants. Then, she once again hit me with the unexpected. "Can I see it with the shirt?"