Please let my daughter’s eyes be open now.
*
Below another dark mountain, with its overhanging eaves and the shade of its hearth, this inn seems much grander than the one we stayed in last night. This place in the shadows. At the foot of the mountain, with its pond and its bridge in the garden round the back, this inn seems much older but is better maintained. This place from the past. This inn still accepts Ishida’s rice but they are able to offer us a hot bath in their bathhouse and the room we are shown seems much bigger and cleaner too, with its fresh mats and its rosewood table, the tasteful alcove and the red camellia in a celadon vase. This place from another century, this place from another country …
Because of the chief of the Kanuma police, because of Tachibana. He tells us he will join us for the evening meal. He promises there will be fresh food, and even some sake –
In this other country, in this other century …
Tachibana tells us to enjoy our baths, that the water will be hot now. Then he leaves us alone, Ishida and me –
In this place, so very far from home …
Ishida and me in this beautiful room, alone and silent –
No talk of messages from Tokyo. No talk at all…
Until Detective Ishida says, ‘Please take your bath first.’
*
The inn has been built around the garden and the room we have been given is at a right angle to the long plank walkway which separates the bathhouse from the main building. Sara-sara. It would also be possible to reach the bathhouse by crossing the small garden and the bridge over the pond, but I choose to walk across the planks, oak and zelkova trees to my right, the magnolia and camellia bushes in the garden on my left, listening to the sound of running water. Sara-sara. There is a room of toilets and basins before the door to the bathhouse. Sara-sara. The taps in the basins are all running and I can smell the scent of heated bathwater. Sara-sara. I open the door to the bathhouse and I step into the changing room. Sara-sara. It is dark and windowless in here, the only light coming from a small lamp in one of the corners. Sara-sara. The bathtub must be on the other side of the second door. Sara-sara. I unbutton my shirt. Sara-sara. I take it off. Sara-sara. I unbutton my trousers. Sara-sara. I take them off. Sara-sara. I am ashamed of this shirt and these trousers. Sara-sara. This shirt and these trousers that my wife has tended and mended, stitched and re-stitched. Sara-sara. I take off my undershirt. Sara-sara. I take off my undershorts. Sara-sara. I fold and pile up these clothes. Sara-sara. I place them in one of the changing-room baskets. Sara-sara. I never want to wear these clothes again. Sara-sara. I pick up one of the clean white bathing cloths. Sara-sara. I go through the second door and I close it behind me. Sara-sara. The room is filled with steam. Sara-sara. The only windows are narrow and high in one of the walls and admit little light. Sara-sara. The bathtub though is big and raised. Sara-sara. I pick up a small wooden bucket. Sara-sara. I climb up the three small steps to the bath. Sara-sara. I fill the bucket with water from the tub. Sara-sara. Now I crouch down and tip the bucket of hot water over my body. Sara-sara. I find the soap and the brush and I begin to scrub myself clean. Sara-sara. Then I take another bucket of water and I rinse myself. Sara-sara. Now I climb the small steps for a third time. Sara-sara. Now I get into the bath. Sara-sara. I put my cloth upon the edge of the wooden tub and stretch myself out. Sara-sara. The water is hot. Sara-sara. The water is pure. Sara-sara. I do not itch. Sara-sara. I do not scratch. Sara-sara. I fold the bathing cloth into a small pillow. Sara-sara. I rest the back of my neck on the edge of the tub. Sara-sara. I close my eyes. Sara-sara. I listen to the sound of the running water. Sara-sara …
I am sleeping not waking, I am waking not sleeping –
Sara-sara. Sara-sara. Sara-sara. Sara-sara. Sara —
The sound of the running water has stopped –
I hear the door open. I feel the air change …
I open my eyes but there is only steam –
I think I see the figure of a woman …
I cannot stand. I cannot breathe –
The figure of a woman facing away from me, staring into a mirror that is not there, she is dressed in a yellow kimono with a dark-blue stripe, its skirts dripping onto the tiles of the floor, her hair tied up with silk threads which expose her pale neck …
The water is cold. The water is black –
The woman holds a hairbrush in one hand as she leans forward to stare at herself in the mirror, suddenly turning to face me now, dropping the hairbrush to the floor, ton, she puts her hands to her face and covers both her eyebrows —
‘Does this become me?’
*
Ishida looks up startled and embarrassed when I come back from the bath. He is sat cross-legged on the floor of the room by the table. He has already changed into the same yukata provided by the inn that I am now wearing. He quickly stuffs something back into his knapsack and shoves it under the table. Now he picks up a towel from the mat –
‘Excuse me,’ he mumbles, telling me he’ll take his bath now.
I listen to his feet trail off down the corridor. I wait a moment before I look out the door to make sure he has gone. Now I pull his bag out from under the table to see what he’d been so quick to hide –
And here it is, lying on the top inside his knapsack; his underwear and a needle. Detective Ishida had been hunting fleas in his underwear with a needle, piercing and spearing flea after flea on the end of the needle. But the old army pistol is still here too –
The old army pistol at the bottom of his knapsack –
I fight back the visions. I fight back the tears …
Here waiting for something, there waiting for someone.
*
It is dark and it is silent outside when Tachibana joins us for dinner. Tachibana has changed out of his uniform and into an evening kimono. Tachibana summons two maids who serve the food in our room on three small lacquered butterfly-legged tables, the food as good as he promised; bonito, smoked eggs, soba, and a bowl of fishcake in a cold soup of grated arrowroot. Ishida and I eat it up like a pair of hungry dogs. The sake is equally fine and we lap that up until Ishida begins to worry about the expense of all this food and all this drink, but Police Chief Tachibana just claps his big hands –
‘It’s my inn,’ he laughs. ‘And you’re my guests…’
And after the dinner, after the two maids have cleared away the tables but left us with three fresh bottles of sake, Tachibana suddenly gets to his feet and begins to dance, this small, fat, youngish man whose eyes are now old and hard as he performs the violent, jerky dance of a warrior, lungeing at Ishida with an invisible sword –