“You’re helping Tully do this?” I asked. “You can’t help Tully do this!”
“Apollo asked us to take care of Tully.”
My hands shook. “I saw Kohaku Mardi’s numbers in the Censor’s office, perfectly, as if someone engineered this Black Sakura affair to follow the Mardi’s plan. Please tell me that wasn’t you.”
Their answer was sweet as rescue to a drowning man. “We neither help nor hinder, only ward.”
“Even so, what Tully’s doing isn’t just warning people, they’re riling them up, making it worse. They could start the avalanche and really make it happen! Millions could die!”
I heard the rustle of a U-beast but could not see where in the car it lurked. “Don’t talk like other people, Mycroft.”
I shook my head. “That’s not what I mean. You can’t let people associate Utopia with Tully’s message. Tully’s a maniac. They’ll make it seem like you’re encouraging a war! The other six Hives will all ally against you, the worst combination. It won’t go like Tully thinks. The Mardis’ predictions were wrong. Kohaku’s numbers have already happened. We’re at the crisis point, past it, but it doesn’t matter anymore. You know about Jehovah. War can’t break out between the Masons and Mitsubishi while Caesar and Andō are both fathers of the same Son. But if you let Tully keep pushing for it like this, if you let yourselves be seen protecting Tully, then everyone will think you’re warmongers too. I don’t know if even Caesar can protect you then.”
“We will not let ourselves be seen.”
Exhaustion took me. I know when not to argue with Utopia. They knew my thoughts, my arguments, better than my shock-shattered breath could make them. We rode in silence, but I used that silence, offering a voiceless prayer to any God who might be listening: please let my Saladin strike in time.
CHAPTER THE TWENTY-NINTH
Julia, I’ve Found God!
«Dominic! Where have you been? You’re wet and stinky!»
«Far less stinky now that I’m wet—I hosed myself off at a hydrant just for you. Julia, I’ve found God!»
«I wasn’t aware they were missing.» Julia Doria-Pamphili’s voice had traces of concern, and almost humor, but all drowned in a pleasurable croon at Dominic’s arrival. «Did their parents know?»
«Not the True God, I mean This Universe’s God, the Idiot Who created disease, and entropy, and decided to imprison sentience within these lumps of dirt.» He thumped his chest. «I’ve found Him.»
I could hear them through the wall, and see a sliver of the room if I pressed my cheek to the crack between door and doorframe, but the makeshift prison of Julia’s office closet offered me no further liberty as I sat locked within, my sensayer’s harsh prescription when the Utopians delivered me into her custody: after such a shock as seeing Tully after thirteen years, I was to take two hours to rest and think, do nothing and serve no one, and if she had to confiscate my tracker and lock me in her closet to enforce that, so be it.
«Did you ask God if there’s an afterlife?» Julia asked at once. Perhaps no one on Earth was as prepared as the Conclave Head for this eventuality.
«We aren’t on speaking terms yet.» Dominic stood close to her by the sound of it, close enough that his rich French resonated with the weight of their two bodies pressed against each other. Of course they spoke French together, gentle reader; she is European, and he civilized. «We haven’t actually spoken face to face, but I’ve found His avatar, His manifestation on this Earth, pathetic little thing.»
Fear made my pacemaker offer a gentle warning bleep.
«Can I see the avatar too?» Julia asked at once.
Dominic laughed, and Julia released a little gasp, the herald of others coming. It was too soon for either to have removed their clothes, but not for Dominic’s expert fingers to have navigated Julia’s slacks and found the entrance to her pleasure.
«Not yet,» he answered, zeal turning his voice into a hiss. «Not until I’m done.»
«You’re so mean, Dominic, teasing me like this.»
«I’ll make it up to you. Here, I smuggled out some leftovers, another of Chagatai’s masterpieces.» I heard the rustle of a package.
«That hardly makes up for it.»
«Oh, that’s not how I’m going to make up for it.» I heard the hiss of fabric shifting over skin.
«Mmm. You’ve a lot to make up for, Dominic, being gone so long, making everybody worry. I’m sure you’ve made Jehovah worry too.»
«I have. I know I have.» The two of them were close outside the door now, and I heard the source of Dominic’s voice move lower, as if he sat, or sank to his knees. «I’ve caused Him pain.»
«Then we’d better get started.»
«Bless me, Mother … for I have sinned … It’s been … eight days … since my last … confession …» A wet slurp came between every phrase, eliciting light gasps from Julia, each sharper than the last as her breath grew fast and shallow. «And in this week … I’ve strayed … farther than ever … from the path … of God.»
«Yes!» Julia’s voice lost nothing of its strength as it grew heated. «What have you done?»
«I’ve abandoned Him … cut Him off from me … sight … sound … word … I left Him blind.… He has so few senses … in this universe … imagine … how it must hurt Him … losing touch … with one of His own.»
«Yes!» she cried, perhaps more loudly than she intended. «You’ve been cruel.»
«Sometimes … I can’t stand it, thinking how it must hurt Him.» I heard fierce motion now, Dominic leaping to his feet perhaps, or pulling Julia down to him, or turning her around to take her from the other side. «Can you imagine, Julia? To hurt Him so much? To make Him think about me, and wish for me, and need me, and be powerless. Desperate, Julia, I’ve made omnipotent Jehovah desperate.» His voice rejoiced. «Do you think He trembled, Julia? Do you think He cried?»
The Conclave Head had barely breath enough to answer as his rhythms shook her body. «I … I … can’t … imagine … that.»
«I can.» Dominic panted too, the panting of anticipation, like hounds before they’re loosed upon the fleeing fox. «But you’re right, that’s not enough to make Him weep. Not nearly enough. One straying angel won’t make God tremble. But I’ve done more. I’ve kept secrets from Him too, this week. Secrets I know He wants to hear. He’s been searching so long for some hint, some message from another God, and now I’ve found one and I haven’t told Him!» His zeal made her cry out, a little yelp with every thrust, half-breathed, since he gave her no time to fill her lungs. «Now He’s still suffering, still wondering if He’s the only creature of His kind, afraid, except it’s because of me now. I’m doing it to Him; I’m the one keeping Him alone in the dark, and I’m the one with the power to end it!»
«Nnng! Nnng! Will you?»
«Not yet,» Dominic snarled the words. «It’s not enough! Just traces of another God won’t do it, I need more. I need to know the nature of this stupid God, access, answers, something horrible.»
«Yes.»
«I need to find out enough about this God to make Jehovah sick, to make Him hate this God and this God’s universe too much to forgive.»
«Yes, yes!»
«It won’t be hard. There are already so many things about this universe Jehovah can’t forgive. He’s trapped here, and once I prove this universe is ruled by a horrible and callous Being, He’ll lose all hope of ever being able to fix it like His own.»
«Yes! Callous! Yes! Oh, God!»
«Then He’ll break down! Omniscient, omnipotent Jehovah forced to admit He can never bring those powers here.»