“No.” His finger traced slowly down the side of my face and along my jawline. “What I’d much rather have is you submitting to me because you want to. Willingly giving yourself to me. There’s a difference between me being your master because I force you to and being your master because you trust me enough to give me the control I crave.”
The corners of my mouth twitched. “Ah, so you are admitting that you crave control?”
“It’s in my DNA, baby. But when it comes to you, I not only crave it, I hanker after it with my entire heart and soul.”
“Wow, that’s intense.”
He laughed. “Have you ever known me to be anything else?”
I thought about it for a moment before I shook my head. “No, you are a very passionate man in whatever you do. Nobody can accuse you of indifference. You have such strong convictions and emotions. It just exhausts me sometimes, trying to understand you.”
“There is nothing I’m more passionate about than you, Eva. Not for one second does anything come even close to how I feel about you.”
“Tell me more. I love when you’re an open book and I don’t have to try guessing what’s going on in your head.”
“I’m changing that. You’re going to get sick of me showing you how much you mean to me.”
“Just showing?” I needed more. I wanted the words too.
“You mean my cock showing you how much he loves you isn’t enough?”
“Well, that only accounts for one of your brains. I’m wondering what goes on in here.” I kissed his forehead and then the tattoo above his heart through his shirt. “And here.”
“It should be pretty obvious, but since you can’t see how besotted I am by you, guess I’m going to have to fix that.”
“Yeah?”
“Oh yeah.”
“I can’t wait to see how.”
“There is only one way in my mind, but you already said no fucking. So I guess I’m going to have to rely on words, baby.”
My heart nearly stopped. This was what I’d been waiting for.
His hand cupped the back of my head and he stared into my eyes. For a few moments, we were completely lost in one another. Nothing else existed nor mattered. It was only us, the world fading into the background.
The intensity of his eyes burned into my soul. “I love you, Eva, so much it hurts. I’ve tried to stay away, but I am only a man, and I need your love to heal me. You make me whole, and you make my life worth living. When I’m with you, I can relax and just be myself. You are the light that brings love into the furthest corners of my dark and damaged soul. You make me want to breathe, baby, because I love you.”
Those were the most beautiful words I’d ever heard. I knew what it took for Harrison to say them with such genuine conviction.
It was true. Harrison loves me.
Reaching up and placing a palm on each cheek to frame his face, I blinked a few times to clear the watery film over my eyes. “I love you, Harrison. So, so, so much. I need you as much as you need me. Together we are two parts of a whole. If you are darkness and I am light, it means we are perfect for one another and together we are invincible.”
His forehead was back against mine. Taking a few deep breaths, he said in a shaky voice, “I don’t deserve you, but by God I’m going to change that and become worthy. Thank you for loving me. I can’t begin to tell you what it means to hear you say those words.”
“Well, I thought all you wanted from me was my submission and my body.”
“I want so much more, baby. So much more.”
His lips covered mine and he kissed me with so much passion that I wondered how we’d ever get enough of one another. He finally released my lips and pressed me against his erection with a growl. What we did to one another on a physical scale was obvious.
I simply had to ask. “More? What do you want, Harrison?”
“I want everything from you, Eva. Everything you have to give. Your body, your heart, your soul. Will you give it to me, baby?”
I swallowed hard. I wanted to. So very fucking badly.
“Yes.”
Harrison smiled down at me, creases appearing at the corners of his eyes. “Will you marry me, Eva? Would you be willing to tame the beast and make me a better man?”
Chapter 44 — Eva
I didn’t hesitate, because the answer had been there for a long time already, just waiting for the question. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”
His lips smothered mine. He kissed me deeply until I was breathless, then drew away with a smile. “But?” he drawled.
“Who says there’s a but?”
He grinned down at me. “According to the sexiest woman on the planet, there is always a but.”
It was my turn to laugh. “Not this time.”
“You’ve made me a very happy man, Eva. When we return to LA, I’m going to get a ring and propose like a gentleman. But for now, I’m happy you agreed.”
“Harrison?” My voice was thin and slightly high-pitched.
“Yeah, baby?”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Anything.”
My breath hitched. “Is it okay if I don’t wear a big white dress? I just can’t—”
His laugh helped the tension in my shoulders to relax. “Works for me. Neither of us need a reminder of Parker’s bad taste in couture.”
“Are you saying I looked ugly in that dress?”
“Baby, you could wear a sack and you’d still look gorgeous. I just want you to be yourself and feel pretty. Like my bride. That’s all.”
I loved when Harrison was sweet. It was a side of him I could get used to. “I have another question. Do you know what happened to Miu-miu? I can’t stop worrying about her.”
“Ryder called your father. He’s taken your dog to his place. You can stop worrying.”
A sharp knock on the door startled me. Just as I moved to get the door, Harrison held me back. “Let me get it.”
He checked through the keyhole before opening the door. Sofia stood in the doorway with an apologetic smile and a paper shopping bag. She handed it to Harrison and then passed him a note before turning to leave. Lunging forward, I pushed past him to stop the girl. I had to say goodbye.
As soon as I touched her arm, Sofia swung around. Her eyes brimmed with tears. I pulled her into a hug and rubbed her back in large round circles. We stood like that for a few moments before I remembered that I was standing in a hallway wearing a thin virtually see-through robe. I held Sofia at arm’s length and mouthed the words thank you.
Sofia smiled, and I squeezed her hand before letting her go and returning to the room. I closed the door and padded to where Harrison had already removed the clothing from the bag and laid it on the bed. He held up the note, and I saw it was from Ryder.
“You better dress. Our time is nearly up, and I’m thinking your brother will be here sooner than we think.” He pulled me toward him and started undoing the tie around my waist. Pushing his hand away, I took a step backward.
Icy fingers gripped my heart and squeezed until the gripping pain was all I was aware of. With my fist I rubbed small circles on my chest in an attempt to ease the discomfort.
He doesn’t know what Nolan did to me. The drugs . . . forcing himself on me. I couldn’t bear to think about it, never mind talk about it.
If I told him, it could change everything. This wasn’t the time or the place.
“What’s wrong, baby?”
I sucked in a breath, but quickly covered it by pretending to yawn. “I’m so tired after everything I’ve been through. Do you mind waiting outside while I change?”
Harrison narrowed his eyes as he scrutinized my face. With a stern voice, he said, “Eva, is there something you’re not telling me?”
I stiffened my back. “Why would you ask that?”
“You’ve never been shy to be naked in front of me. You’ve agreed to marry me, but you won’t let me watch you change.” He took a step closer and grabbed hold of my arm. “Baby, did Parker hurt you? Did he lay his paws on you?”