“Well maybe that man is an asshole who was on the wrong team.”
Savage surprised me with his answer. “There’s no harm in reassessing your life. Things change, and you gotta do what works for you.”
“Exactly. I want different things now I have Eva.” I scrubbed a hand over my face and looked him squarely in the eyes. “I asked her to marry me, Lucas. She said yes.”
“Jesus, congrats, buddy. You didn’t waste time, did you?”
I chuckled. “Nope. But I’m not sure it will work out. What if she changes her mind?”
Savage had a puzzled look on his face. He cocked his head. “Why would she? She said yes, didn’t she?”
I rubbed the back of my neck. “I don’t know. Just a strange sensation I got afterwards when she was crying. As if she were deliberately pushing me away. She wouldn’t let me touch her in a sexual way either. I’m worried as fuck.”
“You wanted sex after what the woman has been through? You are a crazy fucker.”
I didn’t want to come off as a complete jerk, but I couldn’t lie to my partner. “Well yes, I always want sex with Eva. I can’t help myself. Especially after being away from her for so long.” I swiped the back of my neck and stared at my boots. “She closed herself off to me. It cut me like a knife that she wouldn’t confide in me or really let me touch her. Especially if she is planning to be my wife.”
“She’s going to need therapy, and a lot of understanding from you. For once, you’re gonna have to forget about your dick and focus on her.”
“You say that as if I only care about my own needs. Of course Eva comes first. I’ll do anything she wants just as long as she keeps her promise.”
“Fuck, I nearly feel sorry for you. But I’m glad you found a woman that has brought you back to life. You’ve been M.I.A. for a fucking long time.” Savage scratched his chin. “But I’m still not buying the MC talk. That’s just fucking ludicrous.”
A few days ago, I wouldn’t have believed it either. But sometimes in life, a switch flips and suddenly everything is shown in a different light.
I guess what they say is true: never say never.
Chapter 46 — Eva
While Ryder followed Harrison to the door and locked it behind him, I grabbed the clothes off the bed and disappeared into the bathroom to change. The top and skirt were slightly loose on me, and I realized that I must have lost some weight since it was the size I always wore. I raked my fingers through my hair and glanced at the gaunt features staring back at me from the mirror.
My eyes looked too big for my face and my collarbone was more prominent than usual. I pushed my arms through the sleeves of the cardigan and wrapped it around my body while shooting up a thank you to Sofia. Even though it was hot and balmy outdoors, I was shivering inside right to my bones, and I just couldn’t get warm in the air-conditioned room.
As I emerged from the bathroom, Ryder took a few steps closer to me, and I could see the concern in his eyes.
“Did Summers hurt you?”
I shook my head as a fresh stream of tears coursed down my cheeks and my lips quivered.
I hate being a blubbering mess.
Ryder pulled me into his arms. I let him hold me as I sobbed my heart out, letting go of the fear and anguish I’d held on to while trying to be strong. My brother stroked my hair and kissed my forehead and quietly told me that everything would be okay. I wanted to believe him so badly, but what if he was wrong?
Eventually, my tears subsided and the sobs racking my body stopped. I pulled away from Ryder, casting my eyes down to hide my embarrassment.
“Look at me, Eva.” Cagey, I lifted my head and met his gaze. His thumbs gently brushed over my cheeks and he gave me a smile that reached all the way to his eyes. “It fucking kills me to see you crying. How can I help? I’m happy to cut Summers’ balls off if that’s what you want. Just name it, Sis. I’ll do anything to make you smile again.”
The funny thing was that Ryder was perfectly serious.
“God, I’m so lucky to have you. But no, that’s not what I want.”
“What then? Just name it.”
“Well, there is something.” I paused and took a deep breath. “I want you to be happy for me.”
“Huh?” The confusion on his face was priceless. “I don’t get it.”
“Harrison asked me to marry him. I said yes. Please be happy for us,” I pleaded. I didn’t think I’d care what anyone else thought, but it mattered to me that Ryder was okay with it.
“Fuck . . . I’m really at a loss for words.” The smile disappeared, but the warmth remained in his eyes as they searched mine. “Is it really what you want? You love him?”
“Yes, I do. I love him, warts and all.”
“Yeah, I understand that. Love has a way to knock you on your ass. I never wanted it, but love found me in the form of a sassy blonde I couldn’t resist. Now I can’t imagine life without her, so I get it.”
“We have your blessing?”
“That’s putting it a bit strongly.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “Let’s just say I’ll give him a chance to prove himself as the right man for you. But I’ll be watching him. One wrong move and he gets to deal with me.”
Leaning forward, I planted a kiss on his cheek. “Thanks,” I whispered. It was comforting to know that Ryder had my back.
Gripping both my shoulders, Ryder narrowed his eyes and asked, “What were all those sad tears about, Eva? That had nothing to do with Harrison’s proposal, did it?”
“If I’m honest, I’ll admit it did. I’m so scared he won’t want me any longer when he finds out—” I choked and went silent. Talking about my fears was harder than I’d imagined.
Ryder sat on the sofa by the window and patted the seat next to him for me to sit.
“Explain. This part I’m not getting,” he said.
I rubbed at my chest. “Something terrible happened.”
His brows knitted together, and his jaw clenched. “Carry on.”
“I . . . um . . . Nolan . . .” My voice faltered again and the lump in my throat sat there, refusing to budge. I avoided Ryder’s eyes, keeping mine cast down and letting my hair hang over my face like a curtain.
“Nolan?” Ryder let out a long breath. “Tell me what he did.”
The words refused to leave my mouth as tears welled up in my eyes again. Sweat broke out on my skin, and I rubbed my clammy hands on my skirt.
Ryder gritted his teeth. “Eva, did he fucking rape you?”
I nodded. Heat spread from my chest to my cheeks, and I involuntarily clamped my thighs together as shame washed over me.
“Fucking pig!”
Both the anger and volume of his voice startled me.
Ryder jumped up from the sofa and slammed his fist into the wall. “I’m gonna kill the dirty pig with my bare hands.”
“Ryder, calm down. I don’t want anyone else to know. Please don’t tell Harrison.”
“I don’t understand why not. Summers will want to skin the bastard alive when he finds out. We’ll be on the same side again, but we’ll be fighting about who gets the honor of ending that miserable fuck’s life.”
My hand flew to my throat. “Please don’t do anything silly. You’ll go to jail—Nolan isn’t worth it. That’s why I won’t tell Harrison. He’s bound to have the same reaction as you, and the last thing I want is for either of you to rot in jail because of Nolan’s crime.”
Ryder’s eye started twitching. Fuck. I hated when that happened.
“You can’t hide this from Summers. Not if you’re serious about marrying him.”
“Please, I don’t want anything bad to happen to either of you. Nolan already tried to get rid of Harrison by sending him on a dangerous mission. God knows what will happen to my fiancé if things get out of hand. I’m keeping this between us for now to protect Harrison. When we get back to LA I will report to the authorities and get myself checked out. They’ll help me deal with it in a professional manner and know what the best way is to go forward. ”