Angie returned the hug and stepped back to give her dad a look. “We should’ve known it wouldn’t.”
Cole frowned. “How could we have known, Angie?”
“Mom hasn’t wanted to have anything to do with us for over a year. This visit was just her pretending to be a mom.”
“That’s not true, Angie.” Cole looked upset. “We’ve talked about this.”
This father–daughter conflict made Mattie uncomfortable, but instead of withdrawing as usual, she hoped to say something that would ease Angie’s pain. After all, that’s where her anger was coming from, and Mattie knew the torment only too well. She touched Angie on the arm to get her attention. “Let’s go to the den and sit for a minute. I have something to tell you.”
After sitting on the couch, Angie gave Mattie an expectant look. “What?”
Mattie drew in a deep breath—this kind of sharing was something she was still getting used to. “I think you know that my mom left me and my brother when I was six years old, right?”
Angie nodded.
“Well, I grew up feeling abandoned. I thought she left because of something I did. All I knew when I was a kid was that my mom had left me and it hurt.”
Angie’s gaze didn’t waver, her eyes fixed on Mattie’s.
Mattie’s gut tightened. She’d spared Cole’s kids the details of her ordeal on Redstone Ridge the night of last month’s forest fire, and she planned to share only a small bit of it now. “Just last month, I learned that my mom left because she was running away from someone she feared. It had nothing to do with me or my brother. In fact, I think she believed she was protecting us.”
“Wow.” Angie appeared to be thinking it through.
“So, what I’m saying is, you might think your mom’s decision to leave had something to do with you, or Sophie, or even your dad. But it really had to do with her and what she’s going through. None of you can fix it for her, even though I’m sure she still loves you.”
Angie sat in silence, but Mattie sensed her anger had lost some of its edge.
She needed to share one last thing. “I used to think my mom should be perfect, and she should come try to find me. But now I know that dwelling on that and dwelling on my hurt feelings doesn’t do anyone any good. Especially me.”
Angie nodded as if that made sense to her.
“Maybe it’s best to continue to give your mom some space. We can’t tell what the future will bring with her, but you can focus on the summer and having fun with the other people in your life.”
Angie shrugged. “What really made me mad was how she hurt Sophie’s feelings.”
With a slight smile, Mattie leaned back on the cushion. “I guess that doesn’t surprise me … you get that from your dad.”
Angie looked at Cole, who squirmed in his chair before giving his daughter a sheepish smile. “Guilty as charged,” he said.
“Of course you want to protect your sister. It’s important for you to help her as much as you can,” Mattie said. “But it’s not all on your shoulders. You’ve got your dad and your aunt who are willing to help. And besides, you can’t shelter Sophie from everything. Part of your anger might be because you felt helpless at first, when in reality you did the very best thing.”
Angie cast her eyes down toward the expanse of sofa between them.
Cole spoke up. “Angela, it’s been a long day, and we’re all tired. Do you think you could go to sleep now?”
Angie stood. “I guess so.”
Mattie drew a breath, trying to relieve the tightness in her chest caused by sharing her private thoughts and feelings. Was this what being part of a family required? She wondered how people could interact like this, day after day—she’d rather break up a bar fight. She stood to give Angie a hug before the girl hugged her dad and left to go upstairs.
Mattie felt depleted. Though she wanted to slump back onto the couch, there were only a few hours left before sunrise and she needed to go home. She awakened Robo and told him it was time to go. He arose, stretching and blinking before trotting toward the door. Cole went with them out to the porch.
He put his arm around her as they went down the steps. “Thanks for talking to Angie tonight. I think you might have made her feel better.”
If that was true, this emotional exhaustion would be worth it. “I hope so.”
“I hate for you to have to leave, but I bet you’re going to have a big day tomorrow and an early start.”
It seemed like a night for sharing secrets. As they walked toward her unit, darkness enclosed them and Cole’s arm on her shoulders gave her reassurance, shoring up her reserves. Tension mounted inside her as she realized what she was about to do. This was the moment she’d been waiting for. She couldn’t put it off any longer. “Cole, I need to tell you something.”
“You know you can tell me anything.” He held out his arms and she stepped into his embrace, squeezing him so tightly that every inch of their bodies touched.
“You don’t know everything about me,” she said, her voice sounding timid even to her own ears.
“And you don’t know everything about me. That’s not a problem, is it?”
This man often tried to bring levity to serious situations, but she couldn’t go there with him right now. “It’s not like that for me, Cole. There’s a part of my past that feels so degrading and horrible that I just can’t bring it into your world. You have no idea.”
Cole sighed, tightening his embrace even more. “Mattie, sweetheart … I can tell there’s something eating away at you. All I can do is assure you that there is absolutely nothing you can tell me that will change the way I feel about you.”
She burrowed her face into his chest, and he stroked her hair, soothing her much like she’d seen him soothe a frightened animal. “I need to tell you, Cole.”
“I can’t let you struggle with this,” he said, his lips against her hair. “I have to tell you that I know Harold Cobb took advantage of you when you were a child.”
Mattie froze. She couldn’t believe what she’d just heard. She tried to take a step back, to create some distance between them, but he continued to hold her. “You know?”
“It pains me that you have to deal with the aftermath of that, but it doesn’t change anything between us.” Cole’s voice had become husky.
Coldness snowballed inside her, and she feared it would make her heart stop. Stella was the only person she’d shared her dark secret with, the only one she’d trusted with it. Had her friend betrayed her? “How did you find out? Did Stella tell you?”
“No one told me, Mattie. Sheriff McCoy was talking about Harold Cobb, and I figured it out.” Cole sounded anguished, as if he could sense the turmoil his words had stirred up. “No one violated your privacy.”
But someone must have. How else would he know? And he must have known for a whole month without telling her. Were they all talking about her in her absence? She pressed her hands against his chest.
Cole loosened his embrace enough for her to see the distress on his face. “Mattie, listen. I put two and two together. Please tell me if I got it wrong.”
She pushed against him hard enough that he was forced to let her go. “You waited a month before you said anything about this? A whole month? That feels like a … a stab in the back. You should have said something.”
Cole flinched. “No, Mattie, I couldn’t. Don’t you see? I couldn’t bring it up unless I knew you wanted to talk about it. If that was the wrong choice, I apologize. But think about it, Mattie, and tell me if you wouldn’t have reacted the same way.”
But she didn’t want to see it from his viewpoint; she wanted to get away. “My baggage is nothing you should expose your family to. You can see why I don’t want to burden you or your kids with it.”