As R’shiel’s days blurred into each other, she knew they were getting closer and closer to Karien. Every day took her nearer to the decision she realised she would soon have to make. The decision that might cost her her life.
Xaphista spoke to her often, coaxing one minute, taunting the next. As they neared the border his attempts to win her over developed an edge of desperation which R’shiel found inexplicable. They were nearing the place where he was strongest. If anything, she thought he might have begun to relax.
She was led to her tent once the camp was set up, and went inside without complaint. The priests left her alone now. Even Terbolt showed no interest in her. She was simply the package that he was escorting north. He had no interest in social intercourse, even assuming that R’shiel would have responded to it.
Loneliness can destroy the soul, R’shiel.
How can I be lonely with you filling my head, day and night?
I would be a good friend, demon child. I would never allow you to be lonely.
You need to study humans a bit more, Xaphista. Promising that you’ll never leave me alone is hardly a pleasant thought.
Is it pleasure you seek? I can give you more pleasure than you could possibly imagine.
You don’t understand pleasure.
Then you shall teach me to understand. Tell me what you want and I will learn.
Why are you so desperate?
Why are you so stubborn?
When R’shiel refused to answer, he went away.
Later that evening, after her barely touched meal had been removed by a silent priest, she lay on her pallet and pondered her fate consciously for the first time since her capture.
Her chances of rescue were remote. Brak would have come to her already if he could. The demons were linked to her power and she could not call them without invoking the pain of the collar. Tarja was on the border, probably already in the custody of the Kariens and awaiting execution. Damin Wolfblade was either a prisoner of the Kariens himself or fleeing for Hythria. The Harshini would not bestir themselves from Sanctuary with so many Karien priests abroad and the Primal gods... well, if Xaphista were to be believed, it was their fault she was in this mess in the first place.
As she ran through the list of those who might come to her aid, she realised that she was truly on her own. If she was to be saved – if she wanted to be saved – she was going to have to do something about it herself.
The Harshini power that made her what she was lurked tantalisingly out of reach. She knew it was there; could feel it beckoning, but the pain that barred her way was stronger than any wall. The only way to access it was to get rid of the collar, and Xaphista would not allow that to happen until he was certain that she was completely and utterly his. There was no point in pretending. He was a god. He could see into her soul. If he willingly removed the collar, it would be because he knew that she was no longer a threat to him.
Escape that way was no escape at all.
Or perhaps it was. Perhaps he was right. Why should she do the bidding of the Primal gods who had been responsible for so much of her suffering? Why shouldn’t she join with Xaphista? A lifetime of comfort lay down that path. As the High Priestess of the Overlord, she would know unlimited power. She could have anything she wanted. Xaphista would destroy Loclon if she asked. He could spare Tarja if she demanded it.
Anything you want.
The idea was very, very tempting.
Come to me, demon child. Now!
R’shiel did not answer immediately. Besides the weighty nature of the decision she faced, there were voices outside that sounded vaguely familiar. She sat up, straining to hear the exchange. Then the tent flap opened and Tarja stepped through.
He stared at her wordlessly for a moment. The guttering candle by the pallet only served to highlight his shock at her appearance. Her bruises had faded, and her hair had grown out enough so that at least she didn’t have bald patches any more, but she knew she looked terrible. She was thin and wasted and so deep into herself that she found herself unable to return.
“R’shiel?”
Do I look so bad that he doesn’t recognise me?
Turn away from him, demon child. He cannot offer you the succour that I can. Come to me now, child. Everything you ever wanted rests with me.
But Xaphista was wrong. Everything she ever wanted stood before her, with a look of shock and despair on his face.
His presence seemed to give her an anchor. She clung to it, like a climber pulling himself hand over hand up a long rope, out of a hole so deep the top was merely a speck of light in the distance.
“R’shiel? Do you know who I am?”
She nodded. It was the best she could do.
A small relieved smile flickered over his lips then he stepped closer and gently took her hand.
“I’m taking you out of here,” he explained, as if he knew how hard she was trying to comprehend. “We have to walk away like nothing’s wrong.”
You will never know peace if you turn from me now!
She nodded again, not capable of speaking. Tarja held open the flap and she walked forward, her footsteps taking all her concentration.
He doesn’t even love you! Not really. Kalianah forced it on him. Only I can love you like you want to be loved.
R’shiel fell in with the guard brought to escort her from the tent. Tarja walked by her side. He was so tense she could feel it radiating off him like light from the sun.
You will not defeat me, demon child.
She ignored him, understanding now that her responses gave him power over her. Acknowledging his presence was only a step away from worshipping him and it was worship that gave this elevated demon his strength.
You will find that all you believe in is a lie. Then, when you come to face me, I will not be so understanding. You will suffer for this.
Then the collar started to burn.
Chapter 63
Adrina waited in the darkness with Tamylan, holding the six horses that would take Damin, her and Tamylan, Almodavar and the two other Raiders Damin had chosen to accompany them to freedom. The entire band would split into similar small groups and scatter in every direction. The plan was to give the Defenders so many targets that they would not know which was the one they sought. She wasn’t even sure which direction they would head, but it would be opposite to the one Tarja and Brak took with R’shiel. There was no point in making things any easier for their adversaries than it already was.
They had said their goodbyes earlier and Tarja had surprised her by seeking her out. As he had always maintained a distance between them, the spectre of her brother’s death prevented them ever becoming close, she found his gesture quite out of character. He had led her away a short distance from the others as they were preparing to depart.
“If we succeed, we may never meet again, your Highness.”
“I respect you, Tarja, but not enough to hope we fail on the off-chance we might become friends.”
“Then can a would-be friend give you some parting advice?”
“If you think it will do any good. Listening to advice isn’t one of my strong suits either.”
He smiled for a moment, then his expression grew serious. “Decide what you plan to do about Damin, and sooner rather than later.”
“What’s to decide? I know he’s your friend, Tarja, but don’t mistake his actions for anything noble. He doesn’t want a Karien heir to my father’s throne. It’s really that simple.”