She followed him as he walked through the doorway to his bedroom. He slammed it and it passed right through her. She stood there on the inside of the slammed door.
"I don't like it when you do that," she said.
"Slam doors?"
"I think that on the whole I've been pretty decent about this."
"You!" He climbed back under his sheets. "You're an indecency."
"I didn't have to come to you with love, you know."
He looked away from her, leaned over and switched off the light. Now only the faint light slanting in through the mostly-closed blinds illuminated the room.
"I can find other things in your mind," she said.
Suddenly he threw the bedclothes off him. A half-dozen huge shiny spiders were skittering rapidly along the sheet, over his legs. He flung himself off the bed onto the floor.
"I know those spiders aren't real," he said, panting.
A man's voice answered him, a bleak-sounding whisper. "What is reality?" And then a vast hand clamped him around the throat and picked him up and flung him back onto the bed. As he sprawled on his back, the huge, white, slimy figure with a pus-filled wound for a face raised its other hand and smashed it down into his groin. Quentin screamed in agony until the monster squeezed his throat shut.
This isn't happening, he told himself. The trouble was believing it.
If I believe it, he thought, she can kill me with my own fear. I have to stop fighting it because it isn't there. Like the broken glass wasn't there. Like the wounds in my leg. My throat is shut by my own panic, not by any hand because there is no hand.
Breathe slowly, let the air out a little, then bring in a little. There's nothing in the room with me. I'm alone here on my bed.
He opened his eyes. The monster was gone.
But Madeleine was lying on him, her head on his chest, her waist between his legs, her hair spilling onto the bedsheet. Her body felt warm. He could feel her heartbeat. And despite himself, he was filled with longing. He raised his hand to caress her. But he stopped himself. It would not happen. He brought his hands up and tucked them behind his head, fingers interlocking. Just like the monster, this image, too, would go away.
"Aren't you the strong one," she whispered. "Aren't you brave, to insist on reality. You never could face your own dreams."
She rose from his belly. But not as a normal woman might, raising herself up on her arms. Rather she rose like a marionette, pulled by strings. And yes, she was a marionette, with Madeleine's face, her naked body, but the joints were mechanical and her jaw moved on a string.
"Please. Someday, if I'm really good, can't I be a real girl?"
And then she was gone.
He lay there, panting, exhausted physically and emotionally.
"Oh, Lizzy, I did it," he whispered.
He rolled to one side, then onto his stomach, one leg drawn up, his fist doubled under his chin, the way he always slept, the way he had slept as a boy. But his eyes stayed wide open. Seeing nothing. Seeing everything.
12. Believer
"Sorry, Quentin, but he must have seen our surveillance team," said Wayne. "Doubled back twice and we lost him."
"Him?" That was something, Quentin figured, to know it was a man.
"A guy in a messenger service uniform. So you were right, she didn't just use a stamp."
"Guys from messenger services don't double back to avoid surveillance."
"Yeah, well, they assumed he was a messenger and the real quarry was whoever he brought the message to. And then he pulled his maneuver and he was gone."
"Well, the message arrived," said Quentin.
"You got a call?"
"A visit."
"And?"
"I learned nothing," said Quentin bitterly.
"How can you learn nothing? Who came?"
"Madeleine."
"So she's not dead?"
"Wayne, it wasn't the Madeleine you believe in, the flesh and blood one. It was the Madeleine who doesn't leave footprints."
"Quentin, how can I help you when you won't help me back?"
"Keep on believing I'm crazy if you want, Wayne. But don't let up on the investigation."
"Quentin, really. I'm trying to believe you. And you know me, I'm a lawyer, I can act like I believe my client whether I do or not. I learned that from watching the O. J. trial."
"OK, Wayne. It's cool."
"What is?"
"Madeleine visiting me. You not believing me no matter how hard you try. The investigators losing the messenger. Even if they don't find anything, I need them to keep going after everything."
"By the way, the deed to that house is in the name of a certain Anna Laurent Tyler. Seems she inherited from her mother, Delia Forrest Laurent, who got it from her late husband's will. It was originally built by a Laurent, though, back in the early 1800s."
"Any address for Anna Laurent Tyler?" Quentin was writing down the names. He remembered that in the graveyard there had been a Delia Forrest Laurent, Devoted Wife, sharing a headstone with Theodore Aurelius Laurent, Beloved Husband.
"Sure," said Wayne, "but it's the address of the house in the deed."
"Anna Laurent Tyler. That's something. The police chief in Mixinack said that she had a married daughter. Probably she didn't really marry a Duncan, but maybe we can get the true name out of the local papers. From the wedding announcement. A Tyler being given away by her mother, Anna Laurent Tyler."
"When?"
"I'd start about three years ago and work backward. How would I know? If I find out more from Chief Bolt today, I'll let you know."
"Today?" asked Wayne.
"I'm going back up to New York. To Mixinack."
"Why? Hair of the dog?"
"Yeah, well, this dog follows me around anyway, I might as well head for the doghouse."
"So you aren't missing the little woman as much as you thought."
"Let's say that last night's interview was painful."
"You have my sympathy, Quentin."
Chief Bolt's police department was in a graceful old city building, the kind made of huge stones with classical-looking pillars and lions in front. There were two police cars parked in back, in reserved stalls. Quentin pulled his rented Taurus into one of the Visitor spaces, went inside, and began wandering around in search of the police department. Apparently this was one of those small towns that lived by the principle that if you didn't know where something was, you had no business finding it. He would have asked for directions, but the place was deserted. Somewhere, though, somebody was typing. He finally found the source of the sound in the basement, behind an unmarked door. He knocked.
"Come in," said a woman.
He stuck his head in the room. "Just looking for the police department, ma'am."
"You found it."
"This? Right here?"
"Said so, didn't I?"
"I have an appointment with Chief Bolt."
She pointed toward a closed door behind her, then went back to her typing. Quentin hadn't realized that New York manners extended so far north.
Quentin knocked on the chief's door—which also had no sign. This time a man's voice told him to come in.
Bolt was a burly man with military-short hair, but he didn't have the air of rigidity about him that Quentin had always associated with that look. His uniform was a little tight on him, a little rumpled. And his face looked to have some warmth, as if he might just have a sense of humor. Not usually a cop thing.
"Hi, I'm Quentin Fears."
Bolt nodded, but didn't look up from the form he was filling out. So much for the warmth.
After a moment, Quentin realized that it wasn't a form at all, it was a crossword puzzle.
"Five-letter word for anxiety, has a G in the middle," said Bolt.