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a haven't kept anything like an accurate score, but I would say that over the years I haven't told the cops more than a couple of dozen barefaced lies, maybe not that many. They are seldom practical. On the other hand, I can't recall any murder case Wolfe and I were in on and I've had my story gone into at length where I have simply opened the bag and given them all I had, with no dodging and no withholding, except one, and this is it. On the murder of Adrian Getz I didn't have a single thing on my mind that I wasn't willing and eager to shovel out, so I let them have it.
It worked fine. They called me a liar.
Not right away, of course. At first even Inspector Cramer appreciated my cooperation, knowing as he did that there wasn't a man in his army who could shade me at seeing and hearing, remembering, and reporting. It was generously conceded that upon finding the body I had performed properly and promptly, herding the trio into the room and keeping the Kovens from holding a family council until the law arrived. From there on, of course, everyone had been under surveillance, including me.
At six-thirty, when the scientists were still monopolizing the room where Getz had got it, and city employees were wandering all over the place, and the various inmates were still in various rooms conversing privately with Homicide men, and I had typed and signed my own frank and full statement, I was confidently expecting that I would soon be out on the sidewalk unattended, flagging a taxi. I was in the front room on the ground floor, seated at Pat Lowell's desk, having used her typewriter, and Sergeant Purley Stebbins was sitting across from me, looking over my statement.
He lifted his head and regarded me, perfectly friendly. A perfectly friendly look from Stebbins would, from almost anyone else, cause you to get your guard up and be ready to either duck or counter, but Purley wasn't responsible for
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the design of his big bony face and his pig-bristle eyebrows. "I guess you got it all in," he admitted. "As you told it." "I suggest," I said modestly, "that when this case is put away you send that to the school to be used as a model report."
"Yeah." He stood up. "You're a good typist." He turned to
g�I arose too, saying casually, "I can run along now?"
The door opened, and Inspector Cramer entered. I didn't like his expression as he darted a glance at me. Knowing him well in all his moods, I didn't like the way his broad shoulders were hunched, or his clamped jaw, or the glint in his eye.
"Here's Goodwin's statement," Purley said. "Okay."
"As he told it?"
"Yes."
"Send him downtown and hold him."
It caught me completely off balance. "Hold me?" I demanded, squeaking almost like Hildebrand.
"Yes, sir." Nothing could catch Purley off balance. "On your order?"
"No, charge him. Sullivan Act. He has no license for the gun we found on him."
"Ha, ha," I said. "Ha, ha, and ha, ha. There, you got your laugh. A very fine gag. Ha."
"You're going down, Goodwin. I'll be down to see you later."
As I said, I knew him well. He meant it. I had his eyes. "This," I said, "is way out of my reach. I've told you where and how and why I got that gun." I pointed to the paper in Purley's hand. "Read it. It's all down, punctuated."
"You had the gun in your holster and you have no license for it."
"Nuts. But I get it. You've been hoping for years to hang something on Nero Wolfe, and to you I'm just a part of him, and you think here's your chance. Of course it won't stick. Wouldn't you rather have something that will? Like resisting arrest and assaulting an officer? Glad to oblige. Watch it--"
Tipping forward, I started a left hook for his jaw, fast and 144
vicious, then jerked it down and went back on my heels. It didn't create a panic, but I had the satisfaction of seeing Cramer take a quick step back and Stebbins one forward. They bumped.
"There," I said. "With both of you to swear to it, that ought to be good for at least two years. I'll throw the typewriter at you if you'll promise to catch it."
"Cut the clowning," Purley growled.
"You lied about that gun," Cramer snapped. "If you don't want to get taken down to think it over, think now. Tell me what you came here for and what happened."
"I've told you."
"A string of lies."
(Civ T � >*
No, sir.
"You can have 'em back. I'm not trying to hang something on Wolfe, or you either. I want to know why you came here and what happened."
"Oh, for God's sake." I moved my eyes. "Okay, Purley, where's my escort?"
Cramer strode four paces to the door, opened it, and called, "Bring Mr. Koven in here!"
Harry Koven entered with a dick at his elbow. He looked as if he was even farther away from happiness than before.
"We'll sit down," Cramer said.
He left me behind the desk. Purley and the dick took chairs in the background. Cramer stationed himself across the desk from me, where Purley had been, with Koven on a chair at his left. He opened up.
"I told you, Mr. Koven, that I would ask you to repeat your story in Goodwin's presence, and you said you would."
Koven nodded. "That's right." He was hoarse.
"We won't need all the details. Just answer me briefly. When you called on Nero Wolfe last Saturday evening, what did you ask him to do?"
"I told him I was going to have Dazzle Dan start a detective agency in a new series." The hoarseness bothered Koven, and he cleared his throat explosively. "I told him I needed technical assistance, and possibly a tie-up, if we could arrange--"
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There was a pad of ruled paper on the desk. I reached for it, and a pencil, and started doing shorthand. Cramer leaned over, stretched an arm, grabbed a corner of the pad, and jerked it away. I could feel the blood coming to my head, which was silly of it with an inspector, a sergeant, and a private all in the room.
"We need your full attention," Cramer growled. He went to Koven. "Did you say anything to Wolfe about your gun being taken from your desk?"
"Certainly not. It hadn't been taken. I did mention that I had a gun in my desk for which I had no license, but that I never carried it, and I asked if that was risky. I told them what make it was, a Marley thirty-two. I asked how much trouble it would be to get a license, and if�"
"We'll keep it brief. Just cover the points. What arrangement did you make with Wolfe?"
"He agreed to send Goodwin to my place on Monday for a conference with my staff and me."
"About what?"
"About the technical problems of having Dazzle Dan do detective work, and possibly a tie-up."
"And Goodwin came?"
"Yes, today around noon." Koven's hoarseness kept interfering with him, and he kept clearing his throat. My eyes were at his face, but he hadn't met them. Of course he was talking to Cramer and had to be polite. He went on, "The conference was for twelve-thirty, but I had a little talk with Goodwin and asked him to wait. I have to be careful what I do with Dan and I wanted to think it over some more. Anyway I'm like that, I put things off. It was after four o'clock when he�"
"Was your talk with Goodwin about your gun being gone?"
"Certainly not. We might have mentioned the gun, about my not having a license for it, I don't remember�no, wait a minute, we must have, because I pulled the drawer open and we glanced in at it. Except for that, we only talked�"
"Did you or Goodwin take your gun out of the drawer?" 146
"No. Absolutely not."
"Did he put his gun in the drawer?"
"Absolutely not."
I slid in, "When I took my gun from my holster to show it to you, did you�"
"Nothing doing," Cramer snapped at me. "You're listening. Just the high spots for now." He returned to Koven. "Did you have another talk with Goodwin later?"
Koven nodded. "Yes, around half-past three he came up to my room�the living room. We talked until after four, there and in my office, and then�"