“I’d rather you punch me in the nose and get it over with.”
“You don’t get to choose. I’m pissed, but I’m still deciding how to allocate the pissery.”
“Oh, God.” His arms tightened around her. “Serves me right, falling for a reasonable woman. I’d rather you yell and get it over with.”
Bo sat quietly in his embrace, letting his words seep through her. She was cautious enough, suspicious enough, about romantic relationships that her first cynical thought was to wonder if he’d said he was falling for her as… manipulation, maybe. He was sharply intelligent, as witnessed by the way he’d so rapidly and correctly assessed Jesse’s character and adjusted his attitude and approach on the fly. He could read people, knew how to say what he needed to say to get what he wanted.
On the other hand, except for the information that he’d omitted at the beginning, as far as she knew, he’d always told her the truth. He hadn’t hidden anything from her, he’d answered all her questions… and yesterday he’d risked his own life to protect her and Tricks.
She watched the lake, seeing the ripples that probably signaled small fish coming to the surface, watching the bank reeds sway in the breeze. Tricks nosed around, following one interesting smell to another interesting smell, her extravagant tail swishing happily back and forth. Morgan’s arms were around her, his strength between her and the world. She didn’t know what to think about that because she’d always stood alone, handled things alone-until she’d come to Hamrickville.
She knew there wasn’t anything special about the little town, except maybe the fond blend of admiration and fear in which everyone held the Mean-As-Shit Hobsons, that she could have found friendship and caring in almost any place she chose. Except she hadn’t chosen, being here had been forced on her by her finances, and it was what it was. They were her friends. They were hers to protect.
That line of thought led to her wondering if Morgan thought of her, and them, as his to protect. He’d been there when she needed him. He’d gone above and beyond. For better or worse, he was becoming part of the town. People greeted him with a “Hey, Morg!” as if he’d become one of them. Jesse treated him with respect, and Bo had to admit that weighed big in Morgan’s favor because Jesse was nobody’s fool.
If she was going to sit here and think of reasons why she shouldn’t blame Morgan for the situation, there were several. He treated her with respect; not once had he ever made her feel less than capable. He didn’t second-guess her, he didn’t question her decisions, he made it plain that he considered it her-house-her-rules and he was willing to do whatever he could to help her. He treated her as an equal, which, considering the kind of man he was and what he did, was quite a statement.
And, if she wanted to keep going down this particular road, he was as completely under Tricks’s paw as she was. He’d fought it, but now he made no pretense of being indifferent. Maybe she needed her head examined to base a decision on whether or not someone loved her dog, but Tricks was so important to her that she couldn’t discount it.
On impulse she called Tricks to her. “Tricks! Here, sweetie.” She clapped her hands. “Come get a hug.”
Tricks whirled and came bounding to her, a big smile on her face. The sunshine glinted on her pale gold coat, catching the iridescent threads in the soft fur and making her glow. Enthusiastically she pounced, licking Bo’s face and hands, her tail wagging so hard her entire body was wiggling back and forth. “Pretty girl,” Bo crooned, warding off some of the swipes of Tricks’s tongue while engaging in her own hugging and petting. “You’re such a smart girl. What do you think of Morgan, huh?” She held Tricks’s head still and went eye to eye with her. Tricks stilled, her expression becoming one of intent listening as if she knew Bo was telling her something important.
Bo jerked her thumb at Morgan. “He did something I don’t like, and I can’t decide if I should keep him or not. Mostly it wasn’t his fault.”
“Son of a bitch,” Morgan muttered. “No pun intended. You’re asking a dog to decide-”
“Whether you get probation,” Bo finished coolly. “Yes. She’s an excellent judge of character, in case you haven’t noticed. She doesn’t get the final vote, but I want to know her opinion. Tricks, is Morgan worth keeping?”
Tricks turned her dark gaze on Morgan as if considering. Bo felt him tense, and part of her wanted to laugh. She was only half serious, but the half that was, yeah, that half wanted to know what Tricks thought. The thing was, Bo couldn’t remember asking her such an abstract question before; she thought it was possible Tricks would at least partially understand, but she wasn’t sure. Either way, watching the faint alarm with which Morgan awaited Tricks’s verdict was amusing, and she could use some amusement now.
After a few seconds, Tricks moved forward and licked Morgan on the cheek. Then she backed away, wagged her tail, and returned to her own pursuits.
Bo and Morgan sat in silence, watching her. Eventually he said, “I’ve been blessed.”
“Not quite the same as coming from the pope, but yeah.”
“Do I get probation?”
She let the sentence lie between them for a while, but the truth was that she wasn’t ready to make a final decision, couldn’t make one. “I guess so. There’s a lot weighing in your favor.”
He laid his cheek against the side of her head. She didn’t have to spell it out for him; he knew that she was pissed and might stay pissed for a while, but she wasn’t kicking him out and they’d work through it. That was what people in real relationships did, she thought with a sharp twinge of terror. Dear God, was this a real relationship? Part of it felt real, felt like more than sex. They’d been living together for weeks, building a routine and meshing their lives together.
“Maybe it’s real,” she said faintly.
“I guess I’ll need to work on making up your mind for certain,” he said, then threw a thumbs-up toward Tricks. “Thanks, girl.”
CHAPTER 22
BO WAS GOOD WITH LEAVING THINGS UP IN THE AIR FOR a while until she was able to give the situation more thought or until something actually happened. She’d have felt a lot worse about being pressured to make an immediate decision because this was too important. She could think of this thing she and Morgan had going on, as he’d put it, though it felt strange to regard herself as half of a couple. She could imagine him being a part of her life for a while, perhaps even quite a while. She could embrace what they had now without regret despite what he’d told her. Those were the things she could do. What she couldn’t do was bring herself to think in terms of permanency because that meant she’d have to deal with more than she was ready for. She could handle the near future, she could handle the now, but she couldn’t handle more of a commitment than that.
She wasn’t blind to the circumstances that had shaped her; she had deliberately made the decision to close off the romantic part of life and be solitary. She’d liked being solitary, liked the security it gave her. It had required a traumatic event to get her to change her mind, one that had shaken her to the core and that she would rather have not experienced, but yesterday had happened. It was real, and she dealt well with reality. Things were different now. She had rearranged her priorities, willingly and deliberately.
On the drive from the lake back to the house, she sat quietly in the back, occasionally glancing at Morgan as he expertly steered the Jeep through the huge granite boulders, around trees, and angled it across dips. She liked the solid set of his head on those broad shoulders, the sure grip of his big rough hands on the steering wheel, the alertness with which he noted every detail, his head constantly turning. Nothing would surprise him, she thought.