“Sorry,” Sophie mumbled as she backed out of line. Her eyes found Ashton again but this time he was looking straight at her, a shocked expression on his face. She turned to leave as fast as she could. The air outside offered little relief when she pushed through the doors. She focused on putting one foot in front of the other. Sophie flagged down a cab that was passing.
Sophie didn’t turn around when she heard Ashton call her name. She didn’t respond when he touched her arm. She couldn’t bring herself to look him in the eyes. She could feel herself shatter on the ground beneath her.
“Sophie please…it’s not what it looked like.”
Sophie reached for the cab door. “That seems to be the going excuse when it comes to you and Lucinda.” Ashton reached for her hand and she pulled it away. “Don’t touch me!” She climbed into the car and tried to pull the door closed but Ashton held it open.
“Don’t leave like this,” he pleaded. “Don’t keep running away from me.”
“It was stupid of me to think that I could just forget the past. I’m done being hurt by you,” Sophie spat out angrily. “This thing with you and Lucinda is clearly not over if you keep finding your way back to each other. I feel like a fucking yo-yo with you. I’m up one minute and down the next, but guess what? You pushed me too far this time and I finally snapped.
“Congratulations, Ashton, you finally broke me. I don’t want to be with you. I can’t be with someone that secretly meets up with their ex, who hates me. How do you think that looks? Seeing you there together, so friendly with each other, both with stupid smiles on your faces? Then the final straw was that lovely fucking kiss. What the fuck was that? Actually, I don’t even want to hear you try and explain yourself out of this. I don’t believe any of the shit that comes out of your mouth. Your word means nothing to me because I can’t trust you. You’re not the person I thought you were.” Sophie tried to swing the door shut behind her but Ashton held it open.
“You just swore,” Ashton said in disbelief.
“That’s what you got from all of that?”
“No, but…”
“Fuck you!” Sophie pulled the door so hard it slammed closed. She pushed the lock down before Ashton pulled on the handle.
She told the driver to take her to the hospital, completely ignoring Ashton.
“Are you okay, miss? That was quite the argument.” The driver kept glancing at her through the rearview mirror as they drove the short distance to the hospital. It was barely long enough to justify getting a cab but she had to get distance between her and Ashton as soon as she could.
“Yes. Sorry. Just give me a second to pull myself together.” Sophie took a deep breath.
“Take all the time you need.” The middle aged man seemed nervous about her emotional state. When she finally got her tears to stop falling she reached for her purse. “It’s on me, miss, no need to pay. Just feel better.”
“Thank you.” Sophie’s voice wavered. She knew she should probably just have gone home but she knew she would regret not visiting Margaret, who was expecting her, and she feared that if she went home there might be a chance that she could not bring herself to leave again.
Everything felt wrong, her skin felt too heavy upon her and her head felt too light. The ground beneath her feet was too hard and the air around her too thin.
Sophie stood outside Margaret’s hospital door trying to get control over her emotions, trying to bury the pain that assaulted her. She could feel her phone vibrating in her pocket but she couldn’t bring herself to pull it out. She knew Ashton was trying to call her and she felt too broken to face him now. She was here for Margaret. Taking a deep calming breath, she tried to pull all of her frenzied emotions in tighter against her heart so they wouldn’t show through. Sophie held onto a basket of sweets that she had bought from the gift shop downstairs. Her hands felt numb as she grasped the handle of the basket until it groaned in distress. Finally when she felt as ready as possible, she knocked. When Margaret called for her to enter, she pushed the door open and forced herself to seem unaffected by the storm of emotions brewing inside her.
“Sophie,” Margaret welcomed warmly when she entered. It did offer Sophie some relief knowing that she was doing so well. She was sitting up with a magazine upon her lap. “It’s good to see you, dear.”
“You look beautiful. Are you sure you just had surgery?” Sophie tried to be light but she could hear her words fall heavy to the floor.
“Come sit. I’m a little sore but other than that I’m doing great. The doctor feels good about the surgery and my recovery, so I couldn’t ask for more,” Margaret assured her.
Sophie placed the basket on the table next to her bed. “In case you need something sweet.” Sophie smiled and reached in to wrap her arms around Margaret. “I was worried about you. I’m glad things went so well.” When Sophie went to pull away, Margaret held onto her, giving her an extra squeeze.
“Tell me what’s wrong?” she whispered, holding onto Sophie. She let her go to look into Sophie’s eyes.
“I’m fine.” Sophie tried to sound sincere but she felt her lip tremble. “Nothing that needs to be discussed right now. When do you get to leave this place, anyway?” Sophie sat down beside Margaret’s bed and took in the white room around her.
“It could be as early as tomorrow but what I would really like to know is why there is so much sadness in your beautiful green eyes.”
Sophie shook her head as she avoided Margaret’s gaze. “You would think that they would have clued in that a little color on the walls could make this place a little less stark and depressing,” Sophie said thoughtfully.
“Sophie? Look at me.” Margaret reached for her hand. “I want you to talk to me.”
Sophie looked into Margaret’s eyes and felt her resolve crumble. “My whole life I told myself not to fall in love because I would only get hurt. I saw my mother hurt so many times. I didn’t want to feel that.” Sophie reached up and wiped a tear that fell down her cheek. “I thought I could avoid it…I should have avoided it.” Sophie didn’t want to tell Margaret who she was talking about because she didn’t know how Margaret would feel about her being with her grandson. “It’s my own fault for believing that it could end any other way.”
“What happened?” Margaret held onto Sophie’s hand.
“I stopped on the way here to get you your favorite coffee and he was there with his ex-girlfriend. And she’s not just some girl. She made it her life’s mission to make my life miserable in high school. I saw them kiss. I ran out without the goods…sorry.” Sophie wiped away the tears that ran freely down her cheeks. “You probably really would have enjoyed a caffeine fix right now.” Sophie took a deep calming breath.
“Come here.” Margaret offered her arms for an embrace. Sophie leaned over and fell into Margaret’s comforting hold. “We can’t have the good without the bad, unfortunately. I know that it hurts right now but if there is something that I have learned over my many years it’s that the pain is worth it…I never did like that Lucinda girl.” Margaret patted her arm.
Sophie pulled away and looked at Margaret with wide eyes. “You know?”
“Yes, dear. I don’t know why he was meeting her. That’s something only Ashton will be able to tell you. Though, one thing that I do know is when my Ashton came to me years ago and told me about a new girl at his school, I could see it in his eyes that you owned a piece of his heart even then. He told me that you were the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. Since that first day he spoke of you, you have never been far from his mind. I think he reserved his heart for you since that very first day. Maybe things are not as they seem.”
Sophie shook her head. She wasn’t really sure how to proceed with the information that Margaret had just told her. “I don’t understand. Did you know who I was when you hired me?”
“Yes.” Margaret sighed. “He didn’t want you to know but it was actually Ashton who told me you needed a job. He arranged everything. Though, I am so very grateful you came into my life. I knew instantly why you meant so much to him. You need to keep in mind that fate brought the two of you back together for a reason. When you open yourself up to love it makes you vulnerable to pain.”