“I’ve had a shitty day. Would you like a glass? Or has your day been all parties and private drivers?”
She saw herself in the mirror at Tony’s penthouse. How could he not see that she’d been crying? Claire could feel her swollen eyelids. Did he think she looked like someone who’d had a great day?
“No, thank you.” She answered dryly. “Harry...” Claire began. Then she stopped. Her head pounded with her internal debate. Was she mad, sad, defensive or wounded? Abruptly she stood and walked toward the door. “I can’t do this.” The tears resumed. Claire honestly wondered how she had any tears left. “I can’t do more confrontations.”
Suddenly, Harry was out of the chair and standing before her. She looked up at his expression. Behind the anger she saw hurt.
She had been wrong; hurt was worse than anger. The smell of whiskey burned her nostrils as his breath blew warmly toward her face. Her stomach clenched, but undeterred she strived to maintain the eye contact.
She attempted to explain, “You deserve to hear everything. I didn’t do anything without thinking of you and of Amber. I did it for you! But I can’t talk to you about it when you’re like this.”
She reached for the door handle as his words cut into her heart, “Did you sleep with him?”
Claire wanted to be angry and then she remembered her dream – that wasn’t a dream. She settled for offended, “I can’t believe you just asked me that. No. We didn’t sleep together tonight.”
He seized her shoulders and stared down into her red swollen eyes. “Why?”
“Because, he blackmailed me! With you. And with Amber and SiJo. He was responsible for the problems you had tonight at SiJo.”
Harry interjected, “No, he wasn’t. We found the problem, it was internal. I tried to call you; hell, I was on my way to San Francisco when Amber called me. She saw the news release, and after witnessing our moment in her living room, she thought I should know.”
Claire’s stomach twisted. She wanted desperately to make Harry understand, “But, he did know about it! He threatened to make your problems worse if I didn’t concede. And he had that press release issued before I even spoke to him.”
Harry released her shoulders and stared incredulously, “I can’t fathom how you can continually believe he has that much power. Our computer engineers are top notch. Your ex-husband,” Harry struggled with his words, walked to his glass, took another drink, and continued, “or should I say the man you’re working to reconcile with can’t just snap his fingers and bring down our firewall.”
“Firewall! That was the word he used. He said it was incompetent. And I didn’t answer your calls because he took my phone.”
Harry rolled his eyes, “Our firewall is secure. Our people had everything cleared and secure by eight o’clock. I could have been there with you by nine.” He took another drink and chuckled, “Now, that sure as hell would’ve been fun!”
“You had it cleared by eight?” she repeated dejectedly.
“Yes, why?”
Claire closed her eyes. She remembered Tony’s words. He told her the problem was resolved by eight. It was clear, Harry wouldn’t believe her. She made her way to his sofa, and collapsed. The night would never end. “I know I sound ridiculous, but don’t you see? Now I’m trapped. He took my plans for public revelation and used them against me.”
“How are you trapped?”
The words flowed with welcomed release as she tried to explain. She told him about being summoned to the penthouse, the revelation of their supposed reconciliation, the gala, and their confrontations back in the penthouse. Admittedly, her recollection contained a few omissions. Specifically, she excluded the kiss and the disclosure about her dream. She explained to Harry that the news release was a public disclosure. According to public knowledge, she and Tony were now working on their relationship. Public failure wasn’t an option.
His shocked expression renewed her stream of tears. After waiting for him to comment, she finally whispered, “You and I aren’t official. We haven’t even told Amber about us.”
“So you’re ending this,” he waved his arm around, “us... because of a news release?”
“No! I don’t want us to end. For the time being, we’ll just keep it the way it is, under wraps.” She tried to smile, “You know, like they say: friends with benefits.”
Harry contemplated her words. “So I’m friends with benefits and you’re going to be out publically with him?”
“I have to talk to him about it. I’m supposed to meet with him tomorrow before he leaves for Iowa. But that’s my current concession, public only– no private.”
“Well, obviously when it comes to Mr. Rawlings your negotiating skills are stellar! After your little meeting tomorrow you’ll probably move back to Iowa. Hell, you won’t even need to pack your things. I’m sure he’ll gladly buy everything new.” Harry’s sarcasm saturated words stung. The pain endured from a physical slap would pass faster than the hurt she felt growing in her chest.
Claire stood and turned toward the door. Her dry tone resumed, “I’m going home.” She paused, still facing the door and asked, “Unless Amber no longer wants me?”
“She didn’t say that. It’s your home. No one is kicking you out.”
Claire exhaled in relief. After a few steps she turned back, “What about us?”
His blue eyes paled as his broad shoulders sagged, “What us? We aren’t official. You see, I didn’t realize I needed to inform the Associated Press. Maybe, you could devise a handbook?”
She squared her shoulders and stared at him through swollen lids, “You are letting him win.” After a prolonged silence she lowered her eyes and turned toward the door.
As she stepped into the hall, she heard him say, “No, you forfeited... ”
Walking toward Amber’s condominium, Claire grasped the magnitude of Tony’s current victory. In one critical move he completed a double attack. He exposed a weakness at SiJo Gaming. Even if Harry didn’t believe her, Claire knew Tony was responsible for their problems. If she hadn’t done as Tony asked, those problems would have become worse. It also proved he could do it again.
Next, in a bold and critical move, he publically exposed their bogus relationship. While risking negative public opinion, he took control of the situation. He effectively removed any power Claire previously believed she possessed. And as a bonus for forcing her moves, Tony damaged her relationship with Harry.
As she opened the door to her dark, quiet condominium, Claire wondered about Amber. How would she behave toward Claire tomorrow? Was Tony systematically removing her external support, in essence whittling away her chess pieces?
Lying in her cool bed, Claire’s tired mind tried to regroup. Did she still have any power? Could she fight him? The questions and answers processed slower and slower as she tried to debate her options. Sleep overtook her. There was no doubt. To paraphrase a book her mother used to read to her as a child, it had been a terrible, horrible, very bad, and very long day. She couldn’t even rise triumphant over sleep.
You cannot make the same mistake twice. Because the second time you make it, it is not a mistake, it is a choice.
Chapter 38
The incessant ringing of her alarm jolted Claire from her sound blissful sleep. Her mind reeled with why she’d set an alarm. Rarely did she need to wake at a definite time. Besides, she didn’t get to bed until almost three the night before. As she sat up to turn off the noise, her stomach twisted, and she fell against the pillows. Closing her eyes she willed the rapid onset of nausea to pass.