Twelve

'You think he's afraid of you?' asked Dmitry, betraying by the edge in his voice the fear he felt for the Oprichniki – a fear which had been in him all the time, but which only gained substance when he discovered they had become his enemies.

'I hope he is,' I replied.

'I still don't think it's a good idea. They've left Moscow and soon they'll have left the country. Enough of them have died so that they won't come back. Let someone else deal with them. Let the French deal with them.'

'You think they won't come back?'

'Why should they?'

'Revenge. Look what they did to Maks. He'd killed three of them. I've killed four – even you've killed one.'

'They're practical – not spiteful.'

'Most of them maybe, but why would Iuda try to entice us into this meeting if his only plan was to get away? If we don't go, then he'll just have to come back here. He's already suggesting that Domnikiia might be at risk by sending the letter to her.'

'I suppose,' replied Dmitry contemplatively.

'Have you tried to track down Boris and Natalia at all?' I asked, ostensibly changing the subject.

'I went back to where they were staying,' said Dmitry, 'but the French had torn it all down.'

'I found out that their shop burnt down on the first day of the fires.'

'I know,' he said. 'Boris told me.'

'But I met someone who has seen them since Bonaparte's departure.'

'Really? Where?'

'Just around.'

'In that house this morning, I thought that one of the bodies might be…' Dmitry could not bring himself to say it.

'I know. I thought so too for a moment.'

'So when shall we set out for Kurilovo?' asked Dmitry, after a moment's pause.

'We'll leave the day after tomorrow, on the twenty-sixth. That will give us two days to get there.'

Domnikiia did manage to join me that night. On my instructions, her arrival was soon followed by that of the innkeeper, who brought us some supper and a bottle of wine. We sat at the small table in my room and talked of things of little consequence. Eventually, there was no option but to raise the subject of my journey to Kurilovo.

'So what time will you and Dmitry be setting off?' she asked.

'First light. We should be there by Sunday and then we'll have a whole day to check things out before the meeting on Monday.'

'Do you mind if I don't come over tomorrow night then?'

'Why? Don't you like the idea of being woken up so early?' I joked.

'I don't like the idea of waking up to see you go – or to find you gone.'

'OK,' I said, though the prospect struck me more harshly than I would have imagined.

'It's selfish of me, I know.'

'It's all right. If you were here, I probably wouldn't be able to leave.'

'You can have me all day tomorrow, though. I'm not going to work.'

'Can you? Just like that?'

'I can do what I like. Pyetr Pyetrovich is terrified of you.'

'Really?' I was surprised. 'I've barely ever spoken to him.'

'Yes, but I've said a few things, about what a great soldier you are and so forth – all exaggeration, of course.'

'Thank you.'

'Anyway, he needs me on his side. I'm his most popular girl.'

I felt a knot in my stomach as I was presented with a reality of which I was already fully aware.

'Is that meant to make me feel good?' I asked, trying to keep it lighter than I felt.

'Don't you deserve the best?' she smiled.

I stood up and started to clear the things from the table. Then I noticed her face drain of its colour. I followed her gaze to the replacement wooden sword that I'd been working on, lying half-finished on the desk in the corner of the room.

'What happened to the other one?' she asked.

'Dmitry broke it,' I said.

She sensed my desire not to give her any more detail, and did not ask. 'They must break very easily,' she said simply.

'It's never a problem to make a new one,' I told her.

We spent the following day wandering around the city. It was below freezing and a layer of snow coated the ground – nothing compared with what was to come. We both wore heavy coats to keep warm.

'I hate to see Moscow like this,' said Domnikiia after we had been walking for a little while. 'So devastated – so empty.'

She didn't see it as I did. Although I saw the burnt-out houses and the empty streets, what stood out for me above that was the appearance of growth. Like the first green shoots of spring, it was not obvious, but for those who had eyes to see it, it was ubiquitous and unstoppable. At every turn, someone was repairing some damage to their home or reopening a shop. Even the winter cold could not spoil my optimism. Recovery would take time, but it would inevitably come.

We had come to a churchyard in Kitay Gorod that I knew well.

'This is where we stayed after the fire,' I said to Domnikiia, 'with Boris Mihailovich and his daughter.'

'That reminds me. One of the girls at work knows her.'

'Knows Natalia?'

'Yes, I was going to tell you.'

'Tell me now. Are they all right?'

'Yes, yes. She saw her a few days ago.'

'Have they found somewhere to live?'

'They're sharing with another shoemaker on Ordynsky Lane, in Zamoskvorechye. Shall we go and see them?'

'No,' I replied. 'Not today.'

'You'll tell Dmitry about them, though?'

'Yes, yes.' But I wouldn't tell him straight away.

We said goodbye outside her door in Degtyarny Lane. The square was covered in snow and I couldn't help but be reminded of the scene the first time I had laid eyes on her, just under a year ago. I scooped up a handful of snow and made a snowball, which I hurled across the square at no particular target. She smiled, remembering, and held my hands.

'My saviour,' she said, but then she became more serious. 'How long will you be gone?'

'Two days out there – two days back.'

'You will come back then?'

'Of course I will,' I smiled.

'Straight back?'

'I can't promise that. It depends what happens. But I will be back.'

'And then we can be together for ever?' She smiled wistfully as she spoke, knowing that the dream was unrealizable. My only answer was to kiss her. As I walked away, I looked over my shoulder and saw her watching me all the way to the end of the street.

The following day, at dawn, Dmitry and I mounted our horses and rode south, out of the city. It was not difficult to be reminded of another departure from Moscow, months before, when four of us had set off with our hearts full of optimism that the then twelve Oprichniki with whom we were working would help us to rid Russia of the French invaders.

Now there were only two of us and there were five of them – their losses, as a proportion, marginally greater than ours. If we continued at the same rate, then we would be the victors, but only just – and at what cost to ourselves?

As we rode, we talked.

'So tell me, Dmitry,' I asked him, 'what were you doing after you left Yuryev-Polsky?' It was asked innocently enough, but he knew as well as I that it was a debriefing, if not an interrogation.

'Well, obviously I didn't go to join back up with the army. I skirted round Moscow to the south and then went in to find Pyetr.'

'They're not easy to find if they don't want to be.'

'Pyetr and I had made some other arrangements. The meetings with you were more for show as far as they were concerned.'

'I see.' I had suspected as much. 'But why should they be concerned about us at all?' I asked. It had been puzzling me for some time. Their whole motivation for travelling to Moscow still evaded me.

'You may not accept it, but they genuinely believe in the cause. Zmyeevich does, anyway, and they're all afraid of him,' explained Dmitry. His mood swung, almost sentence by sentence, between self-pity and self-justification.

'They seem to believe more in satisfying their own hunger than in any cause,' I said.

'They're like any soldiers. Like you and me. They like to fight, but they like the idea that they have a just cause to fight for.' I snorted in disagreement. 'Oh, come on, Aleksei,' continued Dmitry. 'Would you be fighting this war if it wasn't for something you believed in? They're the same.'