Cold. Hard. Unfeeling.
Just like I knew they would be.
“Thank you, Detective. Is that everything?”
“It is. Just remember to call us whenever you find some information that may pertain to our investigation.”
“As I always have.”
“Indeed,” he says coolly. “You have the direct lines to your brothers. You can call them.”
Them. Not me.
“I intended on it.” I inject a dose of indignation into my voice and straighten. “Kindly call ahead next time you drop into my office. I’m a very busy woman.”
“As evidenced by the fact that the very important meeting your receptionist insisted you were in is with your brother.”
“Until you know the contents of our discussion, keep your comments to yourself,” Devin says, standing next to Drake. They stand almost eye to eye, and the narrowing of Devin’s dark gaze matches the angry twitch of his arm.
Drake steps forward. “Remember, Officer Bond, that I’m your superior.”
“Remember, Detective Nash,” Devin replies, his voice steely, “that you’re not my superior, and I’m more than certain that mine will accept me defending my sister after the way you treated her last night. So, until you are my superior, step back and stay the hell away from her.”
I inhale at the rocketing tension, but my heart misses a beat at his protectiveness. Sure, I can handle Drake and anything he throws at me. But it sure doesn’t hurt to have my brother stand in front of him for me and give him a piece of his mind.
“The way I treated her?” Drake questions, his eyebrow quirking. “I was doing my job, Bond, and I was utilizing the resources available to me.”
“I didn’t realize kissing was in your job description,” I murmur, glaring when he looks at me.
“La famiglia e tutto,” Devin says, ignoring me entirely. “Family is everything. Do your job, but don’t fuck with my sister while you do it. She’s the only woman in this town who demands respect, and by fuck, Detective, I’ll die makin’ sure she gets it from everyone who thinks they’re above it.”
Drake faces him off for a long time before turning to me and simply saying, “Thank you for your time, Ms. Bond.”
I exhale slowly as he walks out of my office and closes the door behind him. The second he leaves, it’s as if the room fills with air again, and my lungs burn as I breathe in sharply and cover my face with my hands.
How can one person have such an effect on you? How can they make you feel as though you’re going to suffocate just by being in their presence?
And isn’t that the thing with Drake? He’s either setting me on fire or taking my breath away. Maybe they’re synonymous. I don’t know anymore.
Maybe they’re one and the same where he’s concerned.
Maybe he takes my breath away as he sets me on fire. Or maybe he sets me on fire while he takes my breath away.
I just know that he does both, and he does it with alarming ease. Like he breathes it or his heart beats for it. Like he takes every ounce of oxygen from my body and steals it just to give it back and take it away again and again and again.
Like he lives to torture me in the most pleasurably painful way. In a way I didn’t know existed.
I didn’t know it was possible to want someone and despise them at the very same time.
“Noelle?” Devin says quietly, his rough voice slicing through the silence that descended the second Drake left. “You’ve been staring at your palms for a few minutes now.”
I drop my hands, swiping them at my cheeks, and look at him. I look at Devin’s smoothly shaved jaw, his perfectly straight, short hair, and his dark eyes, and a piece of me warms with the comfort and safety that looking at my brother brings me.
“Thank you,” I say, my voice breaking halfway through. “For standing up for me then. Even though you could get in trouble.”
“Are you kidding? Sheriff Bates is more concerned about the way he treated you in front of half our employees yesterday.” Devin grins. “Mrs. Bates also requested the gossip.”
I smile, but it’s weak. Just like how I feel where Drake is concerned. I’m strong until he touches me. Then I melt into the largest puddle of muddy, clumpy, gloopy glue because he does something to me that infuriates and attracts the hell out of me.
“Well, tell Mrs. Bates I’m sorry, but there is none. And tell Sheriff Bates that big, bad wolf Drake Nash isn’t going to scare this little piggy off.”
“Then why you cryin’?”
“Hay fever,” I lie immediately, angrily swiping at my cheeks.
“Twenty-eight years and she never suffered once. Some jacked-up detective pisses her off and she’s a chronic sufferer,” he mutters, walking around my desk to me. Then he wraps his arms tight around me.
I return his hold, only lighter, and rest my head on his shoulder. “He’s not pissing me off,” I sniff.
“She’s also a dirty little liar,” he laughs, squeezing me. He pulls back, grabbing my arms. “Listen to me, Noellie Bellie.”
“You haven’t called me that since I was nine,” I whisper, smiling.
“Because I save it for the real big guns, yeah?” Dev grins. “Listen to me, Noelle. Don’t let him get to you. He’s pissed. For some dumbass reason, he’s real pissed at you. And men, well… Our asshole gene takes over when we get pissed, ’kay? So just let him be a giant fucktard and keep kicking ass the way you are, and eventually, he’ll come around. Eventually, he’ll give you the respect you deserve. And if he doesn’t, there’s a high chance I’ll lose my job.”
I laugh softly, wiping another tear from my cheek. “I don’t know, Dev. What’d I ever do to him, huh?”
“Well, you shot him in the foot for starters.”
“Twelve years ago! Damn, y’all just can’t get over that, can you?”
“Mostly, we like pissin’ him off with it,” he replies, his eyes sparkling. “But back to you, yeah? You can do this, sis. You can solve this case, okay? ’Cause it don’t matter a damn that you don’t carry a badge anymore. You’re a cop by blood and that’s one thing you got on him. He breathes cop. But you live cop. And living is a hundred times more important than breathing. You can breathe and not live. But you live, so you breathe, and if who could solve this case were a betting pool, my life savings are goin’ on you. And those are goin’ on a kickass engagement ring for Amelia, so don’t fuckin’ let me down.”
I squeeze him tight, unable to stop the upturn of my lips. Goddamn it, I’m so lucky to have the family I do. I truly am.
“I got it. Now, when are you proposing?”
“I dunno.” He releases me and steps back. “Gotta see if I have to bail your ass out of jail first. Not sure I trust you around Drake until he’s on his knees and washin’ your feet when you solve his case for him.” He winks when he gets to the door.
My smile grows. “You’re crazy. No bail money, okay? I promise to behave. For now.”
“The ‘for now’ is what worries me.” Those are his final words as he scoots through the doorway and closes the door behind him.
Left alone, I lower myself back into my chair. I kick my shoes off and haul my feet onto my desk, pulling my Fucking Brilliant notebook onto my lap. I click my pen and open my notebook to the next blank page, writing the three victims’ names and circling them.
Then I open my drawer, pull my neon Sharpies out, and designate each victim a color simply so I can keep track of their relationships.
Daniel and Lena. Daniel and Portia. Portia and...
Lena?
Maybe I should have avoided the second cupcake, I think idly as I throw the wrapper in the trash can and my head lolls back onto my sofa. Especially since I’m still being forced into going to my parents’ so Nonna can assault me with her endless questions I could barely give a crap about right now.
I lasted all of ten minutes with my Sharpies and notebook before I packed everything up, said a giant, “Fuck it,” and left work early. I figure I have a ton of paperwork-type stuff to do, like payroll and all that crap, so I can be at home, in my sweatpants, and still work.