His hands slowly dropped, spreading from my neck to my shoulders.
I gasped as his fingertips became nails, marking me with shallow grazes. Every touch hurled me into a hotter fire than the one before.
“And with freedom comes both relief and annoyance.” His hands suddenly dropped to the knot in my towel, tearing it free. The moment my breasts were exposed, he cupped me boldly. Weighing my sensitive flesh in his palms, he rolled my nipples with dexterous fingers.
I bucked in his hold, my eyelids growing heavy.
The cloud I existed in thickened, swirling with intense power. Q’s touch turned from pleasuring to orgasmic. Every twist and tug flamed my sensitivity, sending shockwaves erupting from my chest directly to my core. Every roll of his thumbs echoed in my clit, linking both erogenous zones like I’d never experienced.
“Ah.” I bit my lip, seeking more, chasing the promise of release. “Harder.”
His fingertips pinched my nipples. I thrust backward, spreading moisture on his thigh, rubbing against his erection.
He hissed, squeezing my breasts. “I always thought when I got you like this, I wouldn’t be able to hold on. But what happened in the hotel—it’s strengthened my control. It’s stolen some of the craziness deep inside.”
He removed his thigh from between my legs, giving me nothing to rub against.
I growled under my breath, frustration hot in my blood. “What happened in the hotel was consensual, Q. Just like now—I want you to lose control.” I arched my back, wedging his cock harder into my ass. “Lose it. Give it to me. The pill you gave me makes me crave everything about you. Sweet and safe isn’t what I want.”
He froze. “You’re saying you only want this because I drugged you?”
My eyes fluttered open, real life intruding on our sensual world. “No. I want this because I’m so horny. I want this because I miss you.”
His hand fisted in my hair, holding me still. “Do you remember me saying that—before everything that just happened? I told you I missed your fight—your spirit. Do you forgive me for making you believe? Do you forgive me for giving you substances against your will?”
His voice changed my heartbeat from slow and heavy to fast and light. “What do you want me to say? That I wasn’t terrified at swallowing something I didn’t know? Fine. I was. Petrified. I don’t know what you did to make me see Leather Jacket. I don’t know what happened between us while I was in some other dimension. I have no idea where we are. I don’t know why my entire body feels as if every touch is a tiny orgasm. I have no idea about anything.”
I stayed frozen, still held by Q’s fist. “But I don’t need to know. All I need is to trust you. And I do. Isn’t that enough?”
“No. It isn’t,” Q muttered, tugging on my hair. “You think you trust me—but I’m not so sure.” He bit the sensitive skin behind my ear. “I know what happened between us—I know what I almost did, and I don’t know if it’s a good idea to step into the dark so soon.”
My anger—that had been missing for so long—sprang into being. “Don’t. You can’t.”
“Can’t what, esclave?”
“You can’t deny me. I’m finally giving you the opportunity to bring me into your world and now you’re chickening out.” I stomped my foot, the haze in my brain tinging everything with red. “Take me. I’m not asking; I’m demanding.”
He chuckled. “Is that a threat, Tess?”
His tone shot right through my heart, granting equal measures of hot and cold. Yes. Say yes. Push him. Force him. My pussy clenched, hungry for sex. “Yes, it’s a threat. It’s about time you punished me. I’ve been bad—I deserve everything you can give.”
His heat disappeared as he took a step away, spinning me to face him. My back slammed against the table as the towel fell from my body, puddling on the floor. “Punish you? Why the fuck do I need to punish you?”
My chest fluttered, sucking in shallow breaths. The word ‘punish’ echoed in my brain.
Punish.
Punish.
I blinked. Didn’t he realize I knew he’d struggled with me hurting him? For weeks he’d shut down, dealing with whatever issues I’d put between us. I’d shut him out, made him doubt. I’d damaged him. “For that night,” I said, not needing to elaborate.
Q snarled. “You think I’m still hung up on that?” He gripped my hips, digging his fingers painfully. “You let me bring you back to life. I couldn’t be more fucking grateful. And if you knew what I’d done only an hour ago, you’d know it’s not you who needs forgiveness.”
His voice softened, something dark filling his eyes. “I told you never to lie to me, but I lied to you.”
What? My heart lodged in my throat. I frantically searched his eyes. “Why? How?”
He shook his head slowly and with such finality all my pixie dust and lustful haze disappeared, leaving me a block of ice. “Q?”
Looking deep into his gaze, I shrank away at the bleak resolution reflecting there. “It wasn’t what I said—it was what I thought. All this time, I’ve been annoyed at you for not trusting me. And now you do trust me…but I’m not sure I trust you.” Sighing, he pressed the tip of his nose against mine. “I accept everything you’re giving me. I want to let go—not fully, as I don’t have the power to come completely undone—but enough to show you what I need. I want to hurt you. I want to make you cry—I want to punish you, Tess, but I don’t trust you’re doing it for the right reasons. I think you’re doing this entirely for me and not for us.”
Was that true? Am I giving him my pain, with no limitations, purely for his pleasure?
No, I didn’t believe that. I’d been so wary of everything Q had to offer up till now. I’d wanted it but skated around it at the same time. This time…I truly wanted to fling myself head first into his world. And his refusal frustrated the hell out of me.
With gentle fingers, I hooked them into his towel, fumbling to undo it. His eyes darkened as the damp fabric fell away from his hips, leaving him naked, crowding me against the table.
“No more thinking. Put our demons to rest right here, right now. Let me prove you can trust me. I’m done being scared, Q. I’m done being weak. I’m going to love everything you give me. I’m going to scream and come and cry. And then I’m going to fall in love with you even more and demand you marry me the moment the sun rises tomorrow.”
Q shuddered, looking as if he wanted to strike and consume all at once.
I froze, waiting to see if he would kiss me.
He didn’t.
“Do you know what hurt the most?” he muttered.
“No.” I worried he’d slipped into insecurity, talking himself out of whatever was about to happen.
“It was your willingness to hand over your sanity and happiness. And now you’re doing it again and it’s fucking with my head—”
“I’m not doing it again. I really—”
He bared his teeth. “I haven’t finished. Don’t interrupt.”
I dropped my eyes, flushing with heat.
“You’re fucking with my head, but this time…I believe you. I believe you’re doing this for you, too. I believe you do want me to make you scream, and I’m going to fucking love it.” He gave me a half smile looking like the true devil in the darkness. “Does that scare you?”
There was no lie. No half-truth. “No.”
His body shifted; the air filled with promise. In one swift move, Q spun me around, imprisoning me against his front and the table. The edge of the wood dug into my hips as he folded over me, pressing his chest on my back until my breasts squashed against the felt.