“Have you been there, Princess? Have you found the door?”
“Yes, Sire. I . . .” I hesitated. Mother had ordered me not to disturb him. She had explicitly forbidden me to tell him about my plan, insisting that Don Julián was not strong enough to reach a clear decision. On the other hand, I intuitively felt that right then, caught in his intense desire to go to the other world, Don Julián might be susceptible to my offer. Hastily I continued, “Sire, the other day at the bridge, I was going to tell you about the other world, to tell you that you could go there if you agree to stop the war.”
“I see. My honor for my dream. A tempting offer, Princess. A very clever one indeed.”
“Do you agree then? Are you willing to negotiate with Father?”
Don Julián shook his head. “Don’t you think, Princess, that now it is a little too late? Why should Don Andrés accept any demands from me when I am his prisoner?”
“But you are not his prisoner!”
Don Julián eyed me suspiciously. “Princess, I am in your father’s castle. I cannot move without your help. And judging from Doña Jimena’s description of my wound, I will probably die anyway. What—”
“But, Sire, Father doesn’t know you are here. If you agree to settle your dispute with him without fighting, you are free to go back to your kingdom.”
Don Julián sat up, his eyes bearing into me with such intensity that I blushed. “Would you let me go, Princess? Why?”
“Because I want this war to end. And having you meet with Father and sign a peace agreement is the only way.”
For a moment Don Julián remained silent, then he shook his head. “I cannot do that, Princess. As much as I would like to go to the other world, I am the king. I cannot leave my people with Don Andrés knowing of my absence. What would stop him from taking my kingdom while I am gone?”
“You would have his word, Sire.”
Don Julián said nothing.
Suddenly I remembered. “Would you trust my father, Sire, if our Houses were united by marriage?”
Don Julián looked up. “Marriage? I told you before, Princess, I do not want to marry your sister. Besides, even if I agreed, Don Andrés would never consent. He believes I was trying to get his kingdom by marrying Princess Rosa.”
“Weren’t you?”A flash of anger crossed his eyes, but still he said nothing. “Anyway, Sire, I was not talking about you, but Don Alfonso.”
Grabbing the covers with his right hand, Don Julián bent forward. “You will marry Don Alfonso?” he said, and as he spoke all blood seemed to drain from his face. “That would be perfect. You are only the fourth daughter. Your husband could not have any realistic claim on Don Andrés’s kingdom. It would be a good bargain for your father—”
It was then that, to my eternal shame, I hit him in the face with all the strength of my wrath. I hit a defenseless man who had saved my life, who was my only chance to stop the war, and who I had promised Mother to take care of. And as if that were not bad enough, as I moved back from the bed, horrified at what I had done, I saw my mother standing by the door watching me.
20
A Ghost from the Past
For a long interminable moment, Mother stared at me, her eyes full of contempt. Then without a word she moved to the bed, and as I retreated from her in shame, she bent over and grabbed Don Julián’s wrist with her long ringed fingers. The king, I noticed, had fallen back from the force of my blow and was lying still against the pillows. I didn’t have to get closer to know he was unconscious.
Finally Mother’s shoulders relaxed. Letting go of Don Julián’s hand, she turned to me and, in a low strained voice, ordered me to bring her a wet towel.
“This is useless,” she said after pressing it against Don Julián’s face for a while. “He needs ice.”
But of course, we didn’t have any ice here. Instead Mother asked me to crush some pills in a cup and mix them with water. Holding Don Julián’s head gently on her left arm, she forced the liquid in his mouth. At last Don Julián stirred and opened his eyes. Mother shot a glance in my direction and, with a slight wave of her hand, ordered me out of the room.
Only too soon, Mother joined me. “Don Julián sleeps now,” she said, and her voice was stern. “You must not disturb him. Is that clear?”
“Yes, Mother.” Eyes averted, I waited for her to leave. But Mother wasn’t finished with me yet.
“Don Julián has excused your behavior,” she continued in the same harsh tone. “But I haven’t. We both know, Princess, that in his present condition Don Julián could never have posed a threat to you. So pray tell me what happened. But do not expect my sympathy, Princess. Today you have shamed your family.”
I knew Mother was right. I should not have hit Don Julián. She was also wrong. Don Julián had offended me first by dismissing me as the useless fourth daughter of my father. Too proud to admit either, I bit my lip until I tasted blood and said nothing.
Mother sighed. “All right, Princess. I cannot force you to speak. Still, I hold you responsible for your appalling behavior and order you to remain by Don Julián’s side until he wakes up. And when he wakes up, you shall apologize to him.”
I did not want to apologize to Don Julián. I did not want to see him ever again because I did not want to confront his stare. There was something very disturbing in the way he had looked at me just then, just before I hit him. But I couldn’t tell Mother this, because I had no words for it. So instead I nodded and followed Mother back to Don Julián’s room.
All afternoon I waited by the king’s bed, fearing the moment I’d have to speak to him and wishing it to be over. But Don Julián didn’t wake up, and eventually my anger at him subsided.
Soon after sunset, Mother came back. “You are lucky, Princess,” she said after examining him. “Don Julián is stable. But you are not excused. You will not leave his side until you get his pardon.”
The room grew darker. From time to time, the king jerked his arms and moaned in his sleep. He had done this often before. But this time, I felt responsible. I felt it was my fault that he was hurting. Not knowing what else to do to assuage my guilt, I sat by his side and held his arms against the covers so he would not touch his wound.
I did not mean to fall asleep, but I think I did because when I opened my eyes again, I could see that the candle I had lit when Mother left was already half gone. Careful not to disturb him, I lifted my head from the bed to check on the king. Halfpropped against the headboard, Don Julián was watching me.
Frozen in surprise, I stared at him, and he stared back at me with his dark insolent eyes that never yielded. Then he bent forward and, taking my right hand into his, raised it to his lips.
Still I did not move. I could not move. I could not talk, either. And I was glad it was dark in the room as I could feel my face burning.
Don Julián let go of my hand and lay back once more against the pillows. “I apologize, Princess, if I have offended you,” he said, and his voice was clear but also sad—or was it tired? “It was not my intention. Your offer took me by surprise. But now that I have had time to reconsider, I see the wisdom of your proposal. I accept it. If you are still interested, Princess, I will write to Don Andrés in the morning.”
I stared at him and still said nothing as thousands of questions tumbled over one another in my mind. Don Julián smiled, a sad smile that died on his lips. “Go now and get some rest, Princess.”
“But . . . Mother . . . I mean, I am supposed to watch over you tonight until my sister comes.”
“Do as I say, Princess. I have caused you enough distress already. And I wish to be alone.”
I was not sure whether he was telling me to go out of kindness or of fear I’d lose my temper again. But as kings are supposed to be brave, I assumed the first and thanked him.