“I’m thirsty.”
“Again?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Try to get a grip on your anxiety. You just drank some water. If you don’t control yourself, you’ll finish the little we have left.”
“What’ll we do when we run out of water, Jimmy? How are we going to get out of this swamp?”
“Calm down. Stop thinking about it.”
“How can I stop thinking about it!? We’re getting dehydrated! Look at how dry my lips are!”
“If you get all excited you’ll use up more energy and get thirstier. Just relax.”
“Something must have happened to Mono Harris! Why hasn’t he come, Jimmy? He said he’d be in San Salvador for only three days and return yesterday, Saturday, bringing water and more provisions. Now it’s Sunday noon, and we’re running out of everything. ”
“There was probably some emergency. But he won’t abandon us. He’ll be here any minute. ”
“What if they captured him, huh? What if that soldier got suspicious, and they’ve got him locked up in a cell somewhere? What will become of us?”
“They wouldn’t dare arrest Mono Harris. He’s an American citizen. Anyway, he’s done nothing, except help us.”
“You think that’s nothing!?. What if one of the oarsmen turned him in?”
“The soldiers would have already shown up here.”
“We’ve got to get to dry land, Jimmy. We can’t just wait here till we die of dehydration.”
“Let’s wait till tomorrow morning early. If Mono Harris hasn’t shown up by then, we’ll figure out how to get to land.”
“I don’t think our water will last till tomorrow.”
“If you calm down and stop drinking every time you get anxious, it will.”
“It’s got nothing to do with anxiety. You yourself said it’s like Hell out here. How am I supposed to not be thirsty!?. ”
“You’re too agitated. You’re drinking almost twice as much water as me. Don’t you realize that?”
“‘You’re too agitated!. ’ How the hell am I supposed to not be?! I’m going crazy in this boat! This is worse than the attic! At least there, at the priest’s house, we could go down to the living room and the toilet twice a day. This is horrible, Jimmy! Ten days stuck in this boat eight feet long, surrounded by salt water, sleeping outside under the worst possible conditions, trying to protect ourselves from all the bugs, pissing and shitting outside, like animals!. It’s worse than being in prison!”
“Nothing’s worse than being in prison. Don’t forget we wouldn’t be in prison long, soon enough they’d take us out to face the firing squad. like they did my comrades, and Lieutenant Marín’s civilian brother. ”
“. ”
“So, settle down.”
“Poor man. You military men are savages, Jimmy. Mono Harris said that Marín was unrecognizable from the torture.”
“The torturers are civilian, not military.”
“Don’t give me that shit. If they’re civilians it’s because you guys have taught them how to torture people. ”
“I don’t understand your obsession with the military. What about your grandfather, isn’t he in the military? and your father, wasn’t he in the military before he became a political journalist.?”
“So what? My father now renounces you. ”
“Who saved you, Clemen? Who pulled the chestnuts out of the fire for you when you got in over your head? Your grandfather, right? If it hadn’t been for him, neither you nor I would be here, we’d probably already have been shot. ”
“My grandfather helped me because he is my grandfather. Grandfathers help their grandchildren. It would be unthinkable for him to behave any other way. What do you think happened to Don Arturo?”
“The last thing Mono Harris told us is that he was wounded and in the hospital in San Miguel.”
“I know that already. You don’t have to repeat it to me. What I want to know is if your motherfucking general has shot him.”
“God help us.”
“It’s fucked up to be incommunicado, have no way of finding out what’s going on. At Don Mincho’s house on the island we could listen to the radio. We’ve been rotting here in this swamp for ten days with no contact with the outside world except through Mono Harris. And now the sonofabitch has disappeared. I can’t take it anymore!”
“Well, you don’t have much choice. And stop crying, it doesn’t do any good!”
“I’m not crying!”
“Sounds like it to me.”
“Don’t go acting all brave, Jimmy. It doesn’t suit you.”
“We need mental discipline to survive. Spending your time complaining only makes us weaker.”
“We’re already weak. If you could see yourself in the mirror you’d feel real sorry for yourself. You look like a scarecrow. ”
“And you, with your hysteria. ”
“Hysteria? Only you could think up such a degrading word, Jimmy. Hysteria. A cigarette is what I need. I haven’t had a smoke in more than twelve hours. You think that’s nothing? Last night, before I fell asleep, I smoked my last one. Twelve hours without a cigarette!”
“Because you’re desperate, and anxious. I warned you to smoke less, I told you something unexpected could happen. Like now, again, I’m warning you not to drink so much water, because the water is for both of us, not just you. You could do what you wanted with your cigarettes, but you’re going to have to be more disciplined with the water, you have to respect that it’s both of ours.”
“What if Mono Harris doesn’t show up today or tomorrow morning? By noon we’ll be without a drop, we’ll be more desperate, more hungry and thirsty, we’ve only got two tins of sardines and those hard-boiled eggs. Why not leave right now?”
“Because Mono Harris will come, and then he won’t find us, and we’ll lose touch with him. How many times do I have to tell you. ”
“What if he never shows up? What’ll we do then?”
“I told you: we’ll try to get to San Nicolás. It won’t be that difficult. But we run the risk of coming across a National Guard patrol.”
“You sure you know how to get out of this labyrinth of swamps and canals? Mono Harris said this is one of the most remote canals, the most difficult to find among the mangroves, that’s why he brought us here. Which direction is San Nicolás, Jimmy? Tell me!”
“Over there, where we came from. ”
“You don’t know anything! You don’t have the least fucking idea! We came from the other direction. I remember perfectly.”
“I’m not going to argue with you, Clemen. Here, the one who has the training to survive and find his way is me. You’re just a poor slob. That’s why, when we start for San Nicolás, you’re going to follow my instructions. Is that clear?”
“If you suck my dick. ”
5:13 p.m.
“Whoever understands you can have you for free, Jimmy. According to you we were supposed to conserve our energy so we don’t die of hunger and thirst, so why in the world are you swimming?”
“I need to freshen up. I’m not swimming; I’m floating.”
“Same thing.”
“Not the same thing.”
“It’ll take a water snake or manta ray scaring you to set you straight. ”
“Don’t be such a chickenshit, Clemen. I have the feeling you don’t know how to swim, that’s why you’re so afraid of the water.”
“I’m not afraid of the water; I’m afraid of creatures.”
“I don’t believe you. Ever since we got on the canoe you’ve been shitting your pants. ”
“A while ago, while you were napping, you muttered the name Faustino Sosa several times. ”