I do. Ky’s understanding of my Third Reflection references come to light. He grew up there. Just like me. “But eventually you returned to the Second, right? What brought you back?”
“The only thing that could have—my father. He found us, or rather, he found my mother and sister.”
I almost don’t want to hear what happened next. From the murderous expression tensing Ky’s face, it can’t be good.
Eyebrows cinched, he says, “We lived in a small town off the coast of Maine. I was eighteen and had secured a job unloading freight at the docks. It wasn’t the most fulfilling work, but it helped my mother pay the bills. I came home one day to find her crumpled at the bottom of the stairs and my sister gone.” Voice catching, he quiets.
My throat constricts. For all the sorrow I’ve had to bear, Ky’s is ten times worse.
“He did it. He killed my defenseless mother, kidnapped my eight-year-old sister. I should’ve been there. I’m a Shield. I could’ve done something.” He kicks at nothing. Grabs fistfuls of hair.
I place a tentative hand on his shoulder. I’ve never known what to say in these situations. When I thought Mom died, I preferred when people said nothing at all.
“I swore on my mother’s grave I would make my father pay for what he’d done. I found him at the Threshold that had become his demise. He was forcing my sister to drink the water with him. Though it couldn’t touch her young soul, it still made her physically ill. My father wouldn’t stop, insisting she drink more. More. More . . . I still remember his eyes. That’s when I understood why they call it the Void. There was no life in him. He was a black hole of malice and hatred.”
“What did you do?” I’m on the edge of my seat, fear and awe battling for center stage.
“I attacked him. He was so much stronger than me. Even if we weren’t both Shields it wouldn’t have mattered. I can’t control a Soulless any more than I can control one of my own kind. I was sure he would kill us right there, drown us in the Threshold and then drown himself. Our fight ended with him holding a knife to my sister’s neck. He said he’d release her on one condition. If I drank from the Threshold myself.”
A twist in my gut tells me this story doesn’t have a happy ending.
“I knew if I did I would always want more. But what choice did I have? I couldn’t let my sister die. So I cupped my hands and drank. In an instant I felt something snap inside of me. I no longer had anything holding me back, no conscience to keep me from doing what needed to be done. My father must’ve seen the change, too, because he was wild-eyed. ‘Don’t you feel it?’ he taunted. ‘The surge of power?’ And I did. He released my sister. Then I took his knife. He just smiled at me, said he was going to die anyway. He was raving mad. So I killed him.” Not a hint of remorse is present in his words.
“I’d finally protected someone I loved, but at the same time I sensed my own humanity slipping away. After that I swore I’d never take another life, no matter how much the Void wanted me to. I would defend myself, do what was necessary to guard my sister, but I wouldn’t kill. It’s why I went to such great lengths to find a mirrorblade.” His hand rests on the dagger’s hilt.
Biting my lip, I consider his tale. Would I have had the strength to drink the Void’s water for Mom’s sake? “But you’re not Soulless. Which means you’re okay, right?” My own question startles me. And I realize . . . I do care what happens to him.
He removes his shirt and I gasp. Black veins like Gage’s run along Ky’s right arm, from his wrist to his bicep. “It’s like an addiction, one I battle every day.”
“The Void? Ky—”
“It appeared at first drink. I was becoming the very thing I feared—my father’s son. I wanted to be as far away from that Threshold as possible. I swore I’d never take another sip, no matter how crazy it made me. No matter how much it called to me. Resisting became easier with time. I needed an outlet, some way to expel the anger within. So I joined the Guardians. Gage trained me. It was easy to take my ire out on him because he was always such a thorn. When he sent me on my first mission, I felt as if I was finally doing something to make my mother proud. Until Haman captured me.”
Hesitating, he stoops and plucks a blade of grass, spins it between his thumb and forefinger. “Crowe had a proposition for me. He knew about my sister, compliments of my father’s loose tongue before he died. He’d been indebted to Crowe, for what I don’t know. I had a choice. I could either serve Crowe and pay off my father’s debt, or he’d take away the only person I had left in the seven Reflections.”
And there it is. The reason behind Ky’s betrayal. How can I hold it against him? I would’ve done the same for Mom.
“Are you . . . ?” I swallow. Did my ability to form coherent thoughts take a sick day?
“Don’t worry about me. I’ve got it under control. I drink from a Verity-sourced Threshold as often as I can, which keeps my craving for the Void at bay. It’s not a cure, but it helps. At least, it seems to. The Void has never spread past my arm.” He slips his shirt back on. Clears his throat. “Enough sob stories. You wanted to know about the Callings.”
I do, but I have one last question. One that’s been nibbling at me since Ky mentioned his adoption. “Your father, what was his name?”
Three, two, one . . .
“Tiernan,” he says. “Tiernan Archer.”
I’m frozen. Stranded on my own reality show with no hope of being voted off.
“I think he was Makai’s brother,” Ky says. “Though I’d never met him until a few days ago.” Right. Because my uncle was in the Third protecting me. “From what I can tell, they’re nothing alike. I took my mother’s maiden name, Rhyen. I wanted no association with the man who called himself my father.”
Could Ky possibly comprehend the atomic bomb he’s dropped? I can’t see how.
The man who raised him, the one who killed his mother and kidnapped his sister . . . my half-sister if she wasn’t also adopted . . . that man is—was—my father.
It takes everything in me to contain my shock. Hurt. Anger. Curiosity. Emotions war. I always wondered about my dad. Mom said he left us. No more. No less. How could she have fallen for such a cruel man? Was he always so heartless? So easily swayed by the Void? What does that mean for me? I used to wonder if I was like my dad, since I seemed to be nothing like Mom. My soul aches at the thought.
He didn’t want a daughter.
He didn’t want me.
Ky may not know what Tiernan’s debt was, but it’s not too difficult to figure out. According to Mom’s journal entry, Jasyn never would’ve approved of Mom falling for a Guardian. But she did, and obviously became pregnant with me. Ky said Tiernan didn’t want a daughter. Maybe Mom wasn’t only escaping Jasyn when she left. Could she also have been running from Tiernan, just as Ky’s mother did?
If so, the reason Ky sided with Jasyn, the debt he had to pay for his sister’s sake . . .
That debt is because of me.
TWENTY-ONE
He Chose
I should tell him.
I can’t tell him.
He’ll hate me. We were just starting to get along.
I have . . . had a half sister. And now she’s gone.