“It was.” Or so I thought. “Our souls are connected. Bound souls always find each other. I’m the only one who can find him.”
He exhales, leans against a wooden beam. “And how are you planning to do that?”
“I don’t know. I thought it would be something that just . . . happened.” Sounds stupid now, saying it aloud. Why didn’t I ask more questions? Oh right, I was practically on my deathbed when Robyn and Wade relayed their tale.
“You are not going to find the vessel.”
“Oh? And why not?”
“Because he doesn’t want to be found. Think about it. What’s keeping him from standing against Crowe? From taking what’s rightfully his?”
I open my mouth. Close it. Open it again and say, “I—I don’t know.”
“The vessel linked himself to you.” He points a finger. “Not the other way around. It’s where the mark came from, why everyone believes you will lead them to their savior. Everything you feel, the vessel feels. Pain. Sorrow. Love. He’s given up everything for you. So long as he stays hidden, Crowe won’t try to kill you.”
“Why?”
“Because Crowe knows if he kills you, the vessel will die. Then the Verity will find a new soul to cling to. Crowe doesn’t want that. His plan is to capture the Verity when it leaves its current home. Then he can imprison it just as the Void had been before Crowe released it.”
Holy Verity, I need to sit down. I reach out, grab the arm of the Adirondack chair, lock my elbow. “So what you’re saying is . . . all this time the rebels have been in hiding, while more people become Soulless and this Reflection is shrouded in shadows, it’s all because of . . . of me?”
No, no, no, no. Mom’s capture. Ky’s debt to Crowe. Now this? How much blame can one person take? “Because the vessel of the Verity has been protecting . . . me?” Impossible. “Why would anyone do that? Why sacrifice so much to be linked to one person? Who is that saving?” My shrill voice scratches. I pour myself a glass of milk and drink, the fresh liquid coating my throat.
Joshua blinks twice. “You. It’s saving you.”
I set the glass down, dab my mouth with a napkin. “I thought you said if I die, the vessel dies.” Make up your mind.
“I did. But if that happens, you will live.”
Now he’s lost me. I lower myself into the chair, palm my forehead. “In what Reflection does what you just said make sense?”
“When the vessel linked his soul to yours, he was choosing your life over his own.” Joshua paces, boots clunking over the creaky porch. “Think of him as a replacement, a substitute, a second chance, a get-out-of-death-free card.” He stops. “His life would be taken in place of yours.” Resumes pacing. “Crowe is no fool. He won’t harm you until his enemy is captured.”
“I never asked for this.” I cross my arms, look away.
He faces me. “I know.” The resignation in his tone is all too familiar. “Soon it will be over.”
There’s that word again. Over.
“There’s a loophole.”
My ears perk.
“The bond can be broken. The connection was made with your child’s soul, not your adult one . . . two very different things. If the tie isn’t made whole, the vow is annulled when you come of age. As long as you don’t return what’s been given, your connection with the vessel will break when you turn eighteen. His life will no longer be in danger on threat of yours.”
“Return what’s been given?”
His lips twitch. “A Kiss of Infinity, or more commonly known to you as ‘the kiss of true love.’ ”
Okay, Ursula. I roll my eyes.
“Kisses hold their own power. They create a bond between two people no matter their age. Children, adults—a kiss is a kiss, because love doesn’t change. It matures and grows, but it’s one of those constant things that can’t be explained. It just is. The kiss that gave you the mark was the rarest and most powerful of kisses, more potent than a Kiss of Accord—”
“Whoa, back up.”
“Don’t ever give someone a Kiss of Accord unless you’re prepared to bear the full weight of your bargain.”
“Gage said something about a Kiss of Accord last night. What is it?”
“There are different kinds of kisses, some stronger than others. The Kiss of Accord creates a physical tie. One only death can break. It’s a contract. If you seal a promise with a Kiss of Accord, a life link is forged. Break the promise and you die.”
Stormy’s pleas make sense now. She must’ve given Gage a Kiss of Accord. Why else would she betray us? And Haman. Is that what he gave Isabeau? If so, Mom’s in more danger than I thought.
From the corner of my vision, I spy the road leading out of the Village. Will Makai know where to find us? Has he gone ahead of us to the Haven? “And the Kiss of Infinity?”
“A kiss as rare as it is powerful.” Reverence coats his tone. “Rare because very few people have the capacity to love that deeply, with no regard for their own life or well-being. Powerful because it binds two souls on such an intimate level, they become indistinguishable from one another—but only if the link is complete.”
“So as long as I don’t give the king a Kiss of Infinity before my birthday, I’ll be free to leave?”
“Yes.”
“And Mom and I can go home?”
His teeth grind. “Yes.”
It’s what I’ve wanted from the beginning, isn’t it? But Joshua’s confirmation adds finality. Can I really move on, live a normal life in the Third after everything I’ve witnessed?
“But until then you must be on your guard. If you give a Kiss of Accord or Infinity before your eighteenth birthday, you’ll place the vessel in danger. He made a promise—his life for yours.”
His life for mine? I can’t understand this. My own father didn’t want me. Joshua—inhale—doesn’t want me. But the one person who can save the Second from Crowe and the Void is the same person who would die so I can live? Why? There must be some ulterior motive. Something the vessel gains. It can’t simply come down to love. No way.
“If you link your life to another,” Joshua continues, “and they die, you would die. And if you die—”
“—the vessel dies.” So I was right. I am dynamite. A death trap for anyone who comes too close.
Joshua squeezes his eyes shut. “You belong to him.” Opens them. “To him and no one else. For now, at least. My hope is this won’t be the case much longer.”
The words sink deep. Ky’s term for me is clear. If I belong to the true king, I really am a princess.
“Which is why you can’t just go throwing yourself at anyone who gives you attention.”
His chastisement stings. Is this really what he thinks of me? “If a Kiss of Infinity is as rare as you claim, I wouldn’t worry. And no way am I giving anyone a Kiss of Accord after what happened last night with Stormy.”
“You don’t understand.” He glances left. Right. Lowers his voice. “Unlike a Kiss of Accord, a Kiss of Infinity isn’t something you decide to bestow. It comes from the deepest part of your soul. Stems from desires and emotions you may not even be aware you possess.”
I bite my lower lip. I know exactly what I desire. “The only person I want to be with is you.”
He doesn’t hesitate a breath before he says, “No.”
Ouch. “Why not? You said after I turn eighteen I’ll be free.”
“You will be free. I will not.”
“But—”
“Don’t do this, Eliyana.” He shakes his head, stares at the sky. “What you’re asking, it isn’t possible.” A curl of hair by his ear catches the light. Dark, dark blue, almost black, blending with his natural color. How did I miss that before?