“Of course it was.” I smooth my thumbs over his stubble. He doesn’t stop me. This is the first time I’ve touched him like this. It may also be the last. “Aidan was the vessel and Ember was his love. The Kiss of Infinity bound them, heart and soul.”
Joshua shakes his head. Gathers my hands in his. “No. Aidan was an Ever, like me. Only one thing can kill an Ever.” Our interlaced fingers rest in the crevice between our knees.
I watch his thumbs stroke my skin. Back and forth. Back and forth. “I don’t understand.”
He draws a labored breath, slumped shoulders quaking. I can almost see the peak of a tattoo behind his shoulder. The mark of an Ever? “Aidan passed the same night Ember did—the night I was born. The Kiss of Infinity connected them. When Ember died, Aidan’s life should’ve replaced hers. Then his Ever blood would’ve generated new life within him, saving him too.”
I intake a sharp breath. “Jasyn didn’t save me. You did. The link created by the Kiss of Infinity—it’s how he discovered you’re an Ever. Your life replaced mine. Then your blood brought you back.”
Joshua nods.
Jasyn titters.
Must he stand so close? “But if Aidan was an Ever, too, how did Ember die? How did they both die?”
Joshua’s hands clench in mine. “Death is not easily explained. When it comes for you, when it’s your time, there’s nothing that can deter it from taking a life. If not yours, then someone else’s. Death is the only Threshold into the First Reflection.”
“Death is a Calling all its own.”
“My mother died giving birth to me. When my father saw she’d passed, that not even he could bring her back, he didn’t last long. His heart broke, and he died too.”
Nathaniel was wrong. A part of Aidan didn’t die that night. All of him did. Ember’s death was his poison. He was a true Romeo. “For never was a story of more woe . . .”
“El,” Joshua says. “The only thing that can kill an Ever is—”
“A broken heart.” Jasyn pops our bubble, circling us like an incessant reprise. His voice boomerangs the space around us back to real time. “Touching story, I must say.” He pulls us apart, forcing me to stand, to face him. “Have you solved the puzzle yet, dear granddaughter?”
I wrench away, my eyes wide. “Aidan was the Verity’s vessel. Only death can release the Verity. It finds the purest heart.” My gaze rests on Joshua. “You.”
His eyes close. Head bobs.
Everyone is staring at us. Ebony with eyes gleaming and arms crossed. Kuna and Preacher with their nowhere-stare. Haman and Jasyn, two rotten apples fallen from the same tree.
And Ky. Ky who has finally brought himself to match my gaze. Ky who, in this moment, I can’t bring myself to see.
I turn away, angling my body just enough so I can pretend he isn’t here. “My mom went to Nathaniel when she fled. Nathaniel raised you. We didn’t meet in my backyard the autumn I turned fifteen. We’ve met before.”
Joshua gives another nod, so discreet I almost don’t catch it.
I press my palm to my right cheek. “You gave me this mark.”
“A Kiss of Infinity comes from the deepest part of your soul.”
“You bound your soul—your life—to mine.”
“When bestowed by the Verity’s vessel, a Kiss of Infinity imposes an unusual outcome upon the subject’s soul.”
“You made me a Mirror.”
“El,” he interjects.
But I can’t stop the realizations spilling from my brain and forming words on my lips. No time to breathe. No time to do anything but say, “Except you’re an Ever, so even if I die while we’re linked, you won’t. Because you know I’ll survive, which will keep your heart from breaking. Because my life is yours. Because—” Oh. My. Soul. Do I dare say it? “Because you love me.”
His Adam’s apple dips. He looks petrified. Limited to the next words that release from his mouth. “El, please. Don’t.”
But he doesn’t have to say it. Because I know. The world stops. Colors fade to gray, then burst back to life, more vibrant and beautiful than before. This is the best and worst feeling I’ve ever had. And there is no song fitting for this moment, there are no lyrics to describe my myriad emotions.
Because Joshua loves me.
And this love will destroy him.
THIRTY-THREE
Of Us
The truth smashes into me like a thousand falling stars, igniting my core, punching crater after crater into my already damaged heart.
How can I survive the impact?
“You were never going to come forward, were you?” Lies. Lies. Lies. “You were never going to stand against Jasyn and the Void.”
“It isn’t like that.” Joshua struggles to stand, arm supporting his middle. “Nathaniel spent his life preparing me for this—my destiny. I always knew one day I’d have to capture the Void, imprison it. But I always felt a pull toward . . . something. I would feel sad for no reason, get excited over nothing.” One step toward me. Two. “He finally confessed about my connection with you, and worse, what that connection meant.”
Worse?
“I knew I had to find you, had to see for myself this person I’d always known but couldn’t remember. The person who would help me save the people.” He’s directly in front of me now, eyes searching. “It was three years ago last September.” Hands cupping my face, he exhales, “The day I met you was the day I found the piece of my soul that had always been missing.”
Every glance. Every night out and afternoon in. All the plays and musicals, baseball games and museum trips. Every song and lyric and note and chord.
It was all for me.
My lips part. “You told Makai you wanted this to be over.” Breath catches. “You said—”
“I do want this to be over. I’ve fought my feelings for you because our ending is your beginning. When our bond breaks on your eighteenth birthday, I can only hope my love for you will vanish as well. That somehow the link is the only reason I feel so close to you.” He traces my right cheek. “My love for you can’t be real. I won’t allow it.”
I press my face into his palm. He smells like dirt and rust. “Why not?”
“Because if I truly love you, even with the link gone, you will become a slave.” Our noses are an eighth note apart. “But if I don’t, you will be free to go. Saving this Reflection is my burden. I don’t want it to be yours too.”
Sob. Blink. “You’re not making sense.” I swipe at my nose. “I still don’t understand why you won’t recapture the Void.” Swallow. “Take the throne from Crowe.” Lick the salt from my chapped lips. “He’s right here.” I fling my arm toward my grandfather. “You should fulfill your destiny now.”
“Don’t you understand? I can’t! Not until you turn eighteen and our bond breaks. It’s the best chance you have. It’s why I couldn’t let you kiss me the night of your mom’s disappearance. The risk was too great you’d complete the link, binding us forever.” His desperate tenor echoes around the throne room. Rattling the windows. Climbing the stairs and sliding down the banisters. Extending to the painted domed ceiling.
I back away, nearly bumping into Ebony. She responds with an annoyed click of her traitorous tongue.
“And if you do love me after my birthday, link or no link? What then?”