“Mom?” I lift my hand to my head. “What happened?”
“You about sent me to my grave is what happened.” Her harsh tone makes me smile.
I sit, glance around. Lavish décor. A fire crackling in the hearth. Mom’s suite or one identical to it. “What happened? Where’s Joshua? And Ky—?”
“No more worrying, or you’ll make yourself sick again. My brave, brave girl.” Mom fusses over me, fluffing my pillow, feeling my forehead with the back of her hand. “We’ve been taking shifts watching you.”
“Who?”
“Makai and me mostly.” She looks over her shoulder at the door. “Sometimes Robyn or Stormy.”
Robyn was here? That means Joshua healed her. I never asked. Warmth spreads across my chest. “What about Joshua?” Why isn’t he here?
Mom’s gaze shifts.
The warmth dissipates. Oh no. “What’s wrong?” I sit straighter, my pulse hurtling. “Is he okay? Is Ky?” The Void. What’s it done to him? Will he still be himself? I have to help him. I’m the Verity’s vessel now.
He needs me.
Mom pats my hand. “Joshua’s fine.” A close-lipped smile. “Lots to do. The rebels are making their way from the Haven, returning to their former homes throughout the provinces. Ebony’s awaiting trial. Guardians have been dispatched to round up threats to the crown such as Isabeau and Gage. My father”—she swallows before continuing—“he’s been buried in the cemetery here on the grounds. By the time the knife was removed, he’d already bled too much.” The slightest hint of sadness resides in the creases of her eyes. “Joshua’s been very busy tending to his duties as the interim king.”
“Interim king?”
“Yes. You are the Verity’s vessel now, darling. Once you are well . . .” She pauses, as if allowing me to mentally fill in the blank.
My mouth forms an O. “I’m the queen.”
“I don’t want you to worry about that now,” she says. “There is plenty of time before your official coronation in the spring. You must take this season to rest. Joshua has trained for this. He has things under control for now.”
“And Ky?”
One, two, three beats. Why won’t she meet my eyes?
“Mom?”
“Nathaniel took care of his wounds. He’s okay.”
I rip the covers off, not caring I’m only wearing underwear and an oversized tunic. “Great. Just tell me where he is.” I need to apologize for our argument at the ball. To thank him for his sacrifice. To see if he can possibly forgive me for ending his life. For making him a slave to the Void.
And the Verity. Did he know it was part of his soul? Did Joshua? Did Jasyn? All the unexplained details make sense now. The reason the Void couldn’t take over before. Why it stayed secluded to Ky’s arm. Even if I hadn’t kissed him, the Verity would’ve shoved the Void away. I touch my right cheek. My mirrormark didn’t remain because of Joshua’s love. It stayed because of Ky—the Verity’s other vessel. His Kiss of Infinity allowed me to go on as a Mirror even after my link to Joshua broke.
I open my mouth to tell Mom, but something holds me back. Until I speak with Ky, this must remain my secret. I’ve broken his trust once. I won’t do it again.
Mom puts a hand on my shoulder, pushing me back in that gentle way of hers. “You can’t see him.”
“Why not?”
Knock, knock.
I cinch the covers around me, smooth my hair. How long have I been out? I must look like a wreck.
Mom eyes me as if making sure I’m decent before she calls, “Come in.”
Nathaniel enters, offers a tight smile, and meanders to my side. “How are you feeling?” He wraps an arm around Mom.
“I feel fine.” Irritation bubbles, then pops. “Will everyone please stop tiptoeing around me?”
They exchange a hesitant glance, and then Nathaniel says, “I overheard your conversation. You cannot see Kyaphus. He left as soon as I released him from my care. Said he needed to find his sister.”
The blood drains from my face. Of course he would go after Khloe, but why didn’t he come to me first? As long as I’m living, he—the Void—answers to me. How can I help him suppress the darkness inside if I don’t know where he is? I should’ve gone with him. I’m still not sure how this whole Verity-Void relationship works, but the only way to find out is to get through it together.
My worried expression must give me away because Mom’s eyes fill with compassion. She squeezes my hand.
I swallow the too-big lump lodged in my throat. I hardly know Ky. But somehow he got under my skin, became a constant during a time when I just needed a friend. Someone to listen and care and see. Finally I swallow and ask, “And Joshua? Can I at least see him?”
“Soon.” Nathaniel relays the information as if it’s common knowledge, as if repeating something he’s been told.
I wait for them to say more. A disconcerting silence follows.
“Give us a minute, Nate?”
Nate?
“As you wish.” Nathaniel exits the way he came.
Mom perches on the mattress, rests her hands on her barely showing stomach. “I suppose we have a lot to talk about.”
I gaze out the window at the other end of the room. A layer of white ices the forest beyond, daylight turning the snowflakes to diamonds. “I know why you did it.” I keep my attention on the trees. White. Pure. “I saw your face. You were so scared for me. If I had a child, I would’ve done the same thing.”
“You remember?” She shakes her head. “Of course you do. You’re part Scrib, like me.”
I nod. “I hear your voice sometimes too. The things you’ve taught me, all the encouragements and reminders, they’ve stayed with me. And when I’m alone or frightened or all feels lost, the memories of your words come back to me. Then I don’t feel so afraid.”
“When the mark appeared”—Mom swallows—“I knew you were like her—Queen Ember. Makai helped us escape, vowed to protect us. I made him swear we’d never tell you who you were. He agreed, sealing the promise with a—”
“Kiss of Accord.” I turn my gaze on her.
A sad smile crinkles her eyes. “Yes. And then Joshua showed up the year you turned fifteen. I begged Makai to make him leave, but Joshua insisted he only had your best interests at heart. So he stayed. I can’t remember when I stopped being afraid of him—of what his connection to you meant.”
I reach over and cover her hand with mine. We sit that way awhile, sharing a comfortable quiet.
Questions raid my thoughts. Why can’t Joshua see my mark? What if his soul hadn’t been linked to mine? Would we still have met? So much of our relationship feels . . . unnatural. Like a spell. What happens now? Where do we go from here?
I chew the inside of my cheek.
Mom pats my knee and rises. “I’ll let you rest.”
The moment she’s gone I leap from the sheets, cross to the wardrobe in search of clothes. I’ve been sleeping too long. I glance outside again, at the awaiting day. No more hiding. No more shadows.
Time to face the sun.
The fresh snow is air beneath my boots. The sky is bright blue, a sight I never thought I’d see this side of the Second. I walk the castle grounds alone. Unguarded. Unhindered. Free.
I’ve always adored the whiteness of winter. How the flakes transform everything they touch, dusting the world in fresh white, somehow managing to silence even the most intrusive noise. When I was younger, I’d stand on our front stoop. Face the sky. Let the frozen flecks melt on my skin. In my imagination, each powdery kiss washed my birthmark as clean as the city around me. Everything used to center on my ugliness, on my desire to be anyone but myself.