Now I’m learning to recognize my own beauty. An idea that’s foreign but welcome. If true love begets a change, perhaps that’s where I need to begin. How can I fulfill my purpose as a Mirror unless I can first love myself?
I meander toward the edge of the leveled hill, passing Jasyn’s rose garden. Will blossoms adorn its thorns come spring? I pause at the waist-high wall, observing the snowcapped trees below. Their needles have turned evergreen, their trunks now a lovely shade of bark. What will the forest be called now? To keep its current name seems unfitting. Forest of Night? More like Forest of White.
I move left and walk through an archway, trudging down the path I’m sure rests somewhere under the snow. Near the hill’s bottom, I find an iron bench nestled beneath a tree. I sit, shrugging my shoulders to my ears. Tilting my head back against the trunk and closing my eyes, I breathe in the quiet. I can’t control the melody that slips from my lips then. Ember’s poem combined with a piece becoming more ingrained in my soul with each inhale. The lyrics release on fogged breaths. After the final note I remove my hands from my peacoat pockets. Rub them together. Blow.
“Allow me?”
My eyes flash open.
Joshua stands a few feet off. I rise from the bench and he meets me, covers my hands in his, exhales a hot breath onto my icy skin. “I thought I’d find you here.” A smile tugs at his lips.
I can’t hide my mirroring grin. “And why is that?”
“Just a feeling, that’s all.” He shrugs in that boyish way of his. “The forest is the closest thing the Second’s got to Central Park.”
I study our hands. My grin falters.
“The song you were singing?” He cocks his head, questioning. “The rose beyond the thorns. Did you write it?”
I tell him about his mother. How she was a Mirror, like me.
He listens, his cheeks lifting.
As I speak of Ember, my thoughts drift. “Joshua. About Ky—”
His lips flatten. “You don’t have to worry about him. He’s gone to find his sister. He may be the Void’s vessel now, but he can’t hurt anyone as long as you live. That’s all that matters.”
But what about his hurt? His pain? I pull away and an ache deepens inside me, burrowing its way into my gut. “I did that to him. I guess it makes sense he wouldn’t say good-bye.” He must hate me.
Neither of us addresses the extraordinary elephant in the forest. We both know the truth but somehow can’t find the words to ask the question on both our minds. If the Void enters the one closest to its captor, why didn’t it take Joshua? Why Ky? I still don’t know if I gave Joshua a Kiss of Infinity, though it’s clear he gave me one. Questions, questions, questions.
No answers.
Joshua’s shoulders bristle beneath his navy-blue coat. “So where do we go from here? You will be crowned queen come spring. Anything you want is yours.”
What do I want? “I think I’d like to throw a wedding.” I try to veer toward a lighter topic. “Mom and Makai deserve a proper ceremony with family and friends after all they’ve been through.”
“A wedding, huh?” He nods, the spark returned to his eyes. “I think that can be arranged.” Then he takes my hand. And kneels.
In.
The.
Snow.
How many times have I imagined this moment?
“Eliyana Olivia Ember . . .”
There’s always a choice.
Ky?
“. . . I’ve loved you since before I can remember.” His lips brush my hand, sending an explosion of goose bumps up my arm.
You can still choose me.
I—
Joshua raises his eyebrows. “Think of what we can do. Together. As king and queen of the Second, we’ll bring this Reflection into a new era. El, will you be my bride?” He withdraws something sparkly from his pocket.
My breath ceases. It’s my necklace, the one with the treble clef and heart charm. And there, beside the charm, hangs a new addition—a white-gold band studded with diamonds.
“Where did you find it?”
“At the bottom of Lynbrook Province Threshold.” He fastens it to my neck with care, leaning in so close his nose grazes my ear as he pulls away.
My heart beats yes, yes, yes as I stare at the treasure resting between my coat lapels. But there’s another answer too. Softer. Not as distinct. The one belonging to the rose button necklace hidden beneath my clothes. The one I’m not quite ready to let go.
“I don’t want an answer now,” Joshua says, helping me breathe. His thumb caresses my cheek. “I know it’s a lot to consider, especially after all that’s happened.” He gathers my hands in his. “But El, I would wait a thousand lifetimes for only one with you.”
Of course he would. I know he would. “Thank you.”
Snow falls, dusts our faces. He draws me in and kisses me on the forehead. Light. Tender. “Come on.” He intertwines our fingers. “Let’s go home.”
I nod and we walk up the hill side by side. Our conversation is easy, and for a moment I forget everything we’ve faced. The past strips away, wiping the slate as clean as the snow covering this beautiful Reflection. This is an ending, but it’s a beginning too. For us. For me.
I glance over my shoulder once. Just once. Saying a silent goodbye to the boy who chose me as I chose him. He gave me a chance. I won’t let his sacrifice be in vain.
Thank you, Ky.
I face the castle again, my real-life fairy tale. I never thought I’d be the girl someone wanted—the girl Joshua wanted.
But even if he didn’t, I think I’d be okay. Because my worth isn’t defined by others. My mirrormark is invisible to Joshua. The rebels saw me as the girl to lead them to their savior. To Mom I was the sole person she had to protect. And Ky . . . he’s saved me time and time again.
So many people willing to risk everything for my sake. I mean something different to each of them. But it doesn’t matter. All that matters is what I mean to me.
As Joshua holds open the massive door leading inside the castle, I catch my reflection in the window and my mouth forms an O. My brown-purple hair is pulled off my face, revealing my mirrormark in its entirety—a mirrormark that shouldn’t be there according to Ember’s theory. Once the Verity took on a new vessel—me—my Mirror Calling should have vanished. I hadn’t even thought about it until now. Somehow I don’t mind it’s still there. It’s an odd feeling, seeing the mark I’ve always loathed as something else altogether. My strength. My song.
But the present mirrormark isn’t what startles me most. There’s something else, too, unfamiliar and new and maybe even beautiful. In all the times I’ve looked in the mirror, this image is one I’ve never seen.
The girl in my reflection is smiling.
CODA
Ky
Yesterday
This isn’t over.
I clutch the envelope, its corners poking through my gloves and into my skin. Packed snow covers the ground, spreading across the ice-encrusted Threshold before me.
Crunch, crunch, crunch.
I heft the pack on my shoulder higher as he approaches.
When he halts at my side, we don’t look at each other. I allow him to speak first. He is, after all, the king.