Nell did remember the emptiness of the land in northern Canada, the cold that destroyed and yet was beautiful at the same time. She’d lead Shane and Brody through the winter wonderland, where they’d ice fish and then cook it in the little brick house they’d built themselves. In spite of Nell having no mate to help her out, there still had been some good times. Her sons were bundles of love, and as little cubs, they’d been adorable.
They still were adorable, and didn’t they get embarrassed when she said so?
Cormac left the main road behind and drove along a half-plowed road, his tires spinning a bit about every ten yards. He finally pulled into a clearing, parked in front of a cabin with large windows and a deep porch, and turned off the truck. All was darkness and silence. Peaceful.
Nell followed Cormac into the cabin, where he adjusted the heat settings and built a fire in the fireplace.
The cabin had a large living area and one bedroom downstairs, and a second floor with two doors—bedrooms with a bathroom between them. She knew that Eric and Iona often drove up here for privacy, which was hard to come by in Shifter houses, and he invited others up here when they needed quiet time, but Nell had never come. This was Eric’s territory, and Nell wouldn’t invade it.
Apparently, Cormac had no such worries. He coaxed the fire to start, then rummaged in the refrigerator and freezer, finding beer, water, and plenty of frozen dinners.
“Iona keeps the place well stocked,” he said admiringly.
“Iona and Eric come up here a lot, as do Cassidy and Diego, and Iona’s human family. In fact, I’m surprised to find the place empty.”
“Eric said he’d keep everyone away.”
Nell planted her hands on her hips. She opened her mouth to yell at him, then she exhaled, letting her body unclench. Why bother? Cormac and Eric had obviously planned this little excursion, probably had laughed about how Nell would react.
“Eric is going to be picking his teeth out of the carpet for a long time,” Nell said.
“Eric’s a good guy, for a Feline.”
“Felines are sneaky,” Nell growled. “Too sneaky for their own good.”
“That’s why I prefer bears.” Cormac came around the kitchen counter to her and rested his hands on her waist. “Especially a sweet, lovely, warm female bear who tells it like it is.”
“No one tells it plainer than I do,” Nell said.
“Glad to hear it.”
His hands on her waist were warm, distracting. Somehow there was less distance between them, his body an inch from hers. Nell’s breasts touched his chest when she took a deep breath.
“I don’t want to talk about anything,” she said. “I don’t want to talk about Magnus, or why he killed himself, or what happened to me after that. Or the letter, or why you decided to find me. All right?”
Cormac’s eyes had darkened to his bear’s, his smile gone but his mouth still soft. “All right.”
“You agreed easily.”
“I know when to shut up.”
Nell swallowed, her voice softening. “All this digging up the past, it hurts me.”
“I know.” Cormac skimmed his hands up her arms to her shoulders, his face now closer to hers. Unshaved whiskers, black against his tanned skin, glistened in the growing firelight.
“I don’t want to have sex with you,” Nell said, the words difficult. “Not right now. I’m too upset.”
“I know.”
Cormac’s hands warmed her, and so did his eyes. The heating system came on, brushing toasty air through the cabin, and the fire started to crackle.
Cormac’s lips warmed her even more. Nell let him kiss her, not fighting, not pulling away. Kissing was fine. Not dangerous. Not heartbreaking.
At least, it never had been before.
Cormac coaxed her lips open as his hands moved to her back. Nell clenched her fists at her sides as his skilled tongue dipped inside her mouth, licking the moisture from behind her lower lip.
The taste of him, a new sensation, heated her, opened her. Her body warmed as the room lost its edge of cold, her muscles relaxing whether she liked it or not.
She was too old for this. Nell was in command of her body, her mind, her emotions. Always. She had to be. Fun was one thing. Becoming a blubbering idiot was something else.
As he kissed her, Cormac’s hands closed over hers, caressing, easing them open. He twined his fingers through hers—blunt, callused fingers that held the strength of ages.
Heat gathered at the base of her spine. She wanted to flow against him, to reach for him with her whole body.
“No,” she whispered.
“I’m only kissing you.” Cormac’s breath was hot on her lips. “That’s all, Nell.”
She liked how he said her name. A plain, short syllable, but his voice rumbled it and filled the empty spaces.
“All right,” she said softly. “Kissing only.”
Cormac smiled, his eyes glittering in triumph, and Nell’s heart squeezed.
Cormac kissed like he danced. He started a rhythm of small kisses across her lower lip, gentle ones on the corners of her mouth, nibbles where he’d kissed her.
His whiskers rubbed her chin, then her cheek when he took the kisses to her cheekbone, the bridge of her nose. Nell struggled to breathe. When she inhaled, she got the scent of him, a male wanting a female, and the nice, clean smell of his breath.
He kissed her cheek again, and she felt the touch of his tongue. He brushed kisses and little licks all the way to her earlobe, then came the small prick of his teeth.
She sucked in another breath. “Kissing only, I said.”
“This is kissing.” His voice tickled deep inside her ear. “And this.” He touched kisses to the shell of her ear, then her temple, her forehead.
Nell closed her eyes. He’d released her hands somewhere during the kissing, and she now clutched the fabric of his shirt. She tried to make herself let go and couldn’t.
Cormac kissed the tip of her nose, smiling as he did it. The man smiled too much. He had to stop that, because he made her want to smile back.
He touched kisses to her mouth again, this time interspersing them with little licks. Every lick sent a stream of fire through her, her female spaces responding with answering fire.
Nell’s mouth opened for him, her lips shaping to his. Cormac swept his tongue into her mouth, continuing the dance. He licked behind her teeth and under her tongue, tangling with her, tasting her.
He gently pulled back, taking away his talented mouth, leaving Nell bereft.
“Now you kiss me,” Cormac said.
“What?” Since when did her voice shake so much? “I have been.”
“No. I kissed you. It’s your turn.”
“We aren’t cubs,” Nell tried.
Cormac’s laugh was soft and low. “Do you see anyone here who cares?”
They were alone. Quite alone. Up here on the mountain, shielded by a blanket of snow, there was no one to see them, no one coming. Eric, the rat, had probably warned everyone in Shiftertown to stay away.
Cormac waited. He had laughter in his eyes, which crinkled in the corners. Nell read loneliness in those blue eyes, remembered how he’d described being left brutally alone as a cub. But she also saw that his loneliness had not defeated him.
Nell drew a breath, put her hands on his shoulders, and kissed him hard on the mouth. Cormac’s lips firmed under her brief assault, and he chuckled when she drew back.
“That the best you can do?” he asked.
“Oh, you ain’t seen nothing yet, honey.”
Nell wrapped her arms around his neck. She opened his mouth with hers, darting her tongue inside. She licked him, tasted him, played with him, nipped him. She slanted her mouth across his, taking him in, their lips meeting and parting, the soft sounds of kissing blending with the crackle of the fire.