She shrugs and smiles. “I had to do something, and I know he’d kill me if I cut it up or did anything to it.”
“Very true. Plus, he’s already in enough trouble.”
She gives a guilty smile and then starts searching the crowd on the field for Brian.
I turn to whisper to Shane whose gaze is locked on Johnny. “You should have worn his jersey. That’d be the perfect way to come out and make a statement.”
“Funny, Ash,” he says, not laughing.
“I’m serious,” I say, leaning back on the bleacher behind me.
“She’s right, Shaney,” Sid says, figuring out what we are talking about. She’s on the other side of Shane, her eyes scanning the band to find Simon.
Sid and Simon are still going strong. At least he’s not a senior, so they have lots of time left together. I start to feel bad for myself when Blythe and Shane interrupt my wallowing by both leaning into me.
“I can’t believe he is here,” Shane says at the same time Blythe says, “Looks like we’ve got company.” As soon as Sid sees him, she grunts.
I look up to see what they are talking about, and my eyes land on Casey standing at the bottom of the bleachers.
When he gives me a head nod, I give him a small wave and a smile, but whisper back to them through gritted teeth, keeping my eyes locked on him. “Well, we are playing his school.”
“Ashley Taylor,” he shouts in front of everyone, and my stomach does a flip.
I know my cheeks are bright red. I instantly want to shrink down; instead, I give him a WTF type of shrug and pray to God the players on the field can’t hear him.
“Come down here,” he continues to shout over everyone’s heads from the front of the bleachers.
Thankfully, the game is starting and most people are paying attention to that. Unfortunately, Todd is on the sideline warming up, so even though he’s in the zone and doesn’t hear Casey yet, chances are pretty good it’s only a matter of time. I don’t want to do anything that could mess up this game for him, since I know how important it is, and he’s already sitting out the first quarter. As a result, I start to get up, knowing Casey won’t stop shouting.
I feel Sid’s arm pull me back. “What are you doing?”
At first, guilt flashes over me, but he is my friend, my teammate, and I should be able to go say hi without an explanation, so that feeling quickly transitions to anger.
“I’m going to say hi.”
Sid gestures with her head toward the field. I know exactly what she means without her saying a word. I also know there needs to be trust there, or this will never work, and I know Todd trusts me.
I pull my arm away from her. “Don’t, Sid.” I try to make it as clear as possible with my look that she is overstepping, even if she is my best friend. Then I start to make my way down through the crowd of people to meet up with him.
“Hey, Ashley Taylor.”
“Hey?” I say with a questioning tone. “What’s up?”
“I just wanted to say hi.”
“We could have done that from where I was.”
“Well, I wanted to say hi closely.” With that, he steps closer and sort of stumbles. I’m pretty sure he’s been drinking.
My gaze instantly shifts to where Todd is warming up, and I see he hasn’t noticed. He’s pretty focused on his warm-ups, so my heart slows back to a steady beat.
Casey sees the direction of my gaze and quickly tries to intercept. “Let’s go for a walk. Let me buy you a hot dog.” He wraps his arm around me and guides me toward the concession stand.
I instinctively look up to the bleachers, and my eyes lock with Sid’s, her look saying everything I’m feeling. I know if Todd sees me with Casey like this, he will be pissed, and I need his focus to be on the game. Then the opposite thought flashes through my head: if he doesn’t do well in the game, maybe he won’t go away to school, and then he can stay home. I quickly shake my head to erase that thought, though.
What is wrong with me? I need to pull it together.
“Come on, Ashley Taylor. Just a walk if you don’t want a hot dog.” He thrusts his hips, and with the way he says it, he definitely isn’t talking about the food at the concession stand.
“You are disgusting, but fine, a walk.” I give one last glance over at Todd who is still in deep focus on his warm-ups.
Keeping his arm around me as we walk, Casey squeezes me in closer to him, and it’s now clear he’s been drinking; I can smell the alcohol.
As we walk, I’m shocked at how many people say hi to him, pat him on the shoulder, or give him fist bumps. I always assumed but never observed just how popular he is. Even people from our school light up when they see him and everyone from his does. Girls hang on him as we walk by. Just by their smiles and the way they look up at him, it’s obvious they all want him. And every single one of them gives me the insta-once-over with a scowl, but it’s always quickly erased with a fake, forced smile.
A tall girl whose all legs—and I know this because her shorts are so short that’s all I can see—pushes her way between us to drape her arms around Casey. “I thought you were sitting with me tonight,” she says with a pout as she plays with her stick straight, bleach-blonde hair.
“Viv, I am just saying hi to my swim partner.” I see his hand cup her butt before he smiles toward me. “Ashley, meet Vivian. Vivian, Ashley.”
She gives me the same fake smile as the others. “Nice to meet you.”
I only smile back. Why even waste words on her?
“I’ll be back,” Casey says as he removes himself from her grasp. Then he drapes his arm right back around me as if it belongs there.
It doesn’t.
“She seems nice,” I say, meaning just the opposite.
“Jealous?” he asks, reading my tone perfectly.
“You wish,” I retort without even thinking.
I feel him stiffen. I didn’t mean for that to sting, but I can tell by his tense hold that it did.
“Sorry. I was just kidding.”
“I know.” He nuzzles his head into my shoulder. I need to stop him. I know he’s just drunk, but there are too many people here.
I grip my shirt and feel the cool paint that makes up the number eighteen on Todd’s jersey. It’s the perfect reminder of him.
“Do you know you are the only girl who has ever turned me down?” Casey says as he continues to nuzzle into me.
I can’t believe he’s going there right now, in the middle of the game. I don’t even know what to say, so I don’t say anything.
He pulls away and looks down at me as he runs his hand through his shaggy, blonde hair, his green eyes locked on mine. “It’s true, you know.”
He is so sincere, honest, and raw in this moment that my heart sinks with regret. I know I made the right choice, but I really do care about him. On the outside, it looks like he has the perfect life, but he’s let me in on the inside enough to know there is nothing perfect about it.
“Casey…” I start, but I don’t even know where I’m going.
He brings his finger to my lips to stop me. “Don’t. It’s okay, Ashley. I know. I just wanted you to know”—he stops and looks up at the deep blue night sky above us—“that I’m still not over you, and I think that’s why.”
Before I can say anything, he intertwines his fingers with mine and leans his forehead down so it’s resting on mine.
“It just hurts; that’s all.”
Pull away. Stop him, I think, but I don’t do it.
“Hey, asshole.” I hear his voice, and I know. I squeeze my eyes shut to try to make it go away, to make this look different.
Knowing his voice, too, Casey instantly pulls away and puts his hands up in surrender.
I turn slowly, hoping I am wrong, and it’s not who I already know it is. However, my eyes land on Todd. He’s standing there in full pads and uniform on the other side of the fence, and standing right next to him is Rebecca. Of course. I’m sure she was more than happy to point us out. We are on the far side of the bleachers, so there is no way Todd would have seen us, but I didn’t realize we are right next to where the cheerleaders are set up.