“No lover boy today?” Casey leans in and whispers.
I squeeze my eyes shut. Thankfully, he can’t see my face.
“Nope. He’s got practice.” I try to keep my voice calm and steady. When I think I have it together, I turn back to both of them with a smile. “See you tomorrow.” Then I pivot on my heel and walk away. Point for Ashley.
I keep this calm façade up until I make it to my bedroom. As soon as I’m in the safety of my room, I fling myself across my bed and break down. How am I ever going to do this every day? I still haven’t said a word to my parents. Mom tried to carry on a conversation on the way home, but I only responded with grunts, nods, and sighs. I can’t bring myself to say actual words, or I will lose it.
Then I hear it—Todd’s voice. Now I’m hearing things, great.
But wait, there it is again. I have officially lost it, whatever “it” is. Although, I’m not sure I ever had “it” in the first place. I didn’t see his car, so he can’t really be here, right?
“I’m just pissed you told him. It’s none of his business.” I hear his voice again through the vent. Is he on speakerphone? And told who, what?
“He needed to know. You’re a mess, and he needs to know why. I didn’t want him to call your dad.”
“That would have been a good thing. Maybe they would see this is a mistake.”
“Yeah, or maybe this would prove their point.”
There is silence.
Could he be here? In Ryan’s room?
“Shit. You’re right. I just don’t want anyone to know; it’s none of their damn business.” There’s no mistaking his voice this time.
“Well, everyone needs to think you guys are broken up for this to work.” The last part Ryan says really low, but I can still make it out.
“God, I hate this. I hate my parents. What the fuck?”
“I know, but if you don’t play along, it will be worse.”
“I know; you’re right.”
More silence.
“I think I heard Ash come home,” Ryan says. I don’t think I could love him any more than I do in this moment. “Which means my mom is home.” My love lessens a bit at that reminder.
I hear a faint knock on my door as it opens.
I quickly wipe my eyes as Ryan asks loudly, “Ash, can I come in?” I give him a huge smile as he peeks his head around and Todd sneaks in.
“What are you doing here?” I can’t hide my excitement.
“I needed to talk to Ryan.”
“I didn’t see your car, and how are you going to leave without my mom seeing you?”
“I parked down the street, and the same way you do.” He nods his head toward the window with a smile as he steps closer and cradles my face in his hands. “I’m so glad I got to see you.” Our eyes are locked on only each other.
“Okay, I’m going to go. Don’t stay too long.” Ryan smiles. We both totally forgot he was still standing in the doorway. He gives us a look and then quietly shuts the door.
Once we are alone, Todd runs his hands over my damp hair, his eyes saying everything I’m feeling. When he leans down to kiss me, his lips have never felt so perfect against mine. Not being able to have him makes me want him more.
“How was practice?” he asks through his kisses. He doesn’t say his name, but I know what he’s really asking.
“So far so good. He has no idea about us. He did ask why my mom picked me up, so I think he’s curious.”
“Good. He needs to think we’re still together. I don’t trust him if he knows we’re broken up.”
His lips float down my neck, and in the heat of the moment, I walk us over to my bed.
“I hate this,” I say as I guide him to lie down. There is so much energy flowing between us I can’t think clearly. “I just want to be with you.”
“I know. Me, too. But we need to be smart.” He positions his body on top of mine, bracing his arms on either side of me as he slowly lowers his body to meet mine while his lips brush across my lips.
“Hopefully it’s not much longer,” I say. Every part of me wants him, now.
I run my hands down his back and start to pull up his shirt.
He shakes his head and pushes himself back up. “I should go.”
I pull him back down. “No. Not yet. Please stay.”
“Ashley, if we get caught, we’re dead.” He presses one last kiss against my lips, full of urgency. I feel everything he is feeling through this kiss. It scares me, because it’s like we will never get to do it again.
Suddenly, there is a loud banging on my wall, and I know Ryan is warning us.
“Ashley?” we hear my mom’s voice. I can tell she’s close, just down the hall, already upstairs.
“Go,” I say and press my lips back into his as I push him toward the window.
“Hey, Mom. How was your day?” we hear Ryan ask loudly through the vent.
Todd stops. “Wait, you can hear him? Did you hear us?”
“Yes. And I want to know who Ryan told, but right now, you’ve gotta go.” I practically push him out the window.
“Okay. I love you. Remember that,” he says as he finds the tree branch. He turns back around and gives me one last kiss before he pulls himself fully across my windowsill.
“Love you, too.” I watch him to make sure he has steady footing on the tree then quickly close my curtains just as I hear my door opening.
“Ryan is in a talkative mood today,” my mom says with a questioning smile.
TODD
It takes me a good twenty minutes to calm down enough to walk into my house. My heart is racing. It was so hard to leave Ashley, to walk away from her. I hate pretending we’re not together.
“There you are,” my mom says as soon as I open the front door. “We were getting worried about you.” She looks back at Sid. “Your sister was looking for you at school.”
I throw Sid a questioning look, and she just smiles. I’m about to lose it on them both. She knows where to find me if she needs me. I don’t really need to get into any more trouble.
My mom starts back in. “So I’ve decided I’m giving you back your phone. It’s important for—”
“Wait, what?”
“Your phone,” Sid says with a wink from behind Mom. “You’re getting it back.”
I love my sister. I have no idea what she said to my mom, and I really don’t care.
Mom is still going on and on. I have no idea what she’s saying, and once again, I don’t care.
I mouth, “Thank you,” to Sid.
Getting my phone back changes everything.
ASHLEY
Like a moron, I’m lying on my bed, enjoying the smell of Todd before it disappears. I know we need to be more careful, but I wish he could sneak into my room every night. If only he was a vampire …
I hear my phone buzz, and my immediate reaction is disappointment, because I know it’s not Todd. I slowly reach my hand out to my nightstand, in no mood or hurry to deal with anyone or anything until I see the name staring back at me.
Guess what?
I think my heart might have actually stopped. It is Todd! He has his phone back!
How? I text back.
Sid.
God, I love her!
Me, too, at the moment, but we still need to be careful, just in case.
He doesn’t have to say anything else. I know he means just in case our parents check our phones. It’s better not to have anything in text form.
We need a code for things. I have to study = I love you.
I have to study.
Me, too. Now delete this chain.
I’d like to study all night long.