“What else?” Odessa asks. “Your heart.”
I cover my chest with my hand. Odessa can’t actually mean the Lioness wants to take my physical heart from my body. But if she doesn’t, that means she requires something far costlier than the beating muscle pumping blood through my veins. And it’s then I realize . . . Jasyn wasn’t the first ever to create a Soulless.
What the Void have I gotten myself into?
TWENTY
Ky
Why am I not surprised? He really should’ve made himself more difficult to find. But here he is, plain as the Void in my veins.
“Hello, Gage,” I say low under my breath. “We meet again.”
I pick my way across the outdoor tavern. Large red rocks with flat tops fill in as tables. Men and women gather around them, some placing bets, others hunched and quiet. To my right a potbellied man plays a light song on a harmonica. To my left a woman sings and picks at her ukulele as if she’s forgotten how to play. Her lyrics make no sense. Even so, they’re the saddest I’ve ever heard.
“What? Oh what? Oh why?
Me, oh my, oh . . . my . . .”
She sobs and rubs her nose.
These are the men and women who can’t get themselves together. I think of Tide and how present he’s been, not allowing grief to take him away from the task at hand. I guess we all handle pain and grief in our own way. Who knows what shambles I’d be in if I learned Em was gone for good.
A circular stone bar stands at the center of it all, engulfed by laughter and tears. At its heart lives a fire. And I can’t face a fire without thinking of her. When I decided to call her Ember, I had no idea just how well it would fit, or the fires we both would survive.
She doesn’t need me to save her. I shrug. Going to do it anyway. On my way, Princess, I mouth to the rising smoke. Then I take a seat on the stool beside him.
Words are unnecessary. From the irritated expression tightening his face, I’d say he knew the moment I set foot inside the compound.
Gage gulps a swig of whatever amber drink he fancies. A bandage to cover deeper wounds nothing but time will ever heal. He stares at the fire too. His glower could burn a hole of its own.
Like the seats around the tables, the majority of stools are occupied, only a few openings here and there.
Stein empty, Gage raises two fingers.
A boy not much taller than Khloe hurries up, retrieves his empty glass, and replaces it with another. Foam billows at the lip, but not for long. In one swig the drink is half gone. Gage wipes his mouth with the back of his arm. His face is unshaved, hair too long. Healed eyes stare through a sunken and lifeless glaze. Last time I saw him he had hardly any sight left. Did the Fairy Queen fix him? Or perhaps a Physic did the work? Or David’s blood?
“What is it you want, traitor?”
Ah. So he speaks. “Good one, Gage.”
The boy returns with yet another full drink, but Gage waves him away. He offers it to me instead. I decline, tossing him a few coins and sending him on to the next man in need of a refill. I’ve never tasted a drop, and I’ve no plans to change my mind anytime soon.
Being a Soulless and Shadowalker changed Tiernan, sure, but the drink made him a monster. He lost control with the bottle. Fists went flying and they always landed on me. He aimed for my mother. For Khloe. But I took every blow. Because of this he began swinging in my direction, knowing full well he couldn’t touch them. Not if I had anything to say. What a disappointment of a son I turned out to be.
“You’re weak.” He’d kick my ribs and spit.
I never stayed on the ground long, though. I’d rise and he’d spit on me again.
“Hit them,” he’d jeer. “Be a man. Show the women who’s in charge.”
Never. I never hit them and I never fought back. I think that’s what bothered him most.
So much for being the son he always wanted. The son Makai believed his brother would value. I was of no more worth to my adoptive father than an empty bottle of ale. Did my real father love me? He wanted my brother raised as king. Did he hold high hopes for me as well? Even if he didn’t, it doesn’t matter. I choose who I am and what I will become.
With that, I slap Gage hard on the back. Weak? Ha. We’ll see. “I’m here to make a trade.”
He laughs. The sound couldn’t get much darker if he took on the Void. “I am not into trading anymore. Try your luck the next compound over. Maybe someone there will have what you seek.”
He moves to leave, but my hand on his shoulder stays firm. I push him back down.
Because I’m not backing down. “I know you helped David.”
Another chuckle.
My mistake. The sound just got darker.
“You and David are not of equal breed, traitor. As Guardians, Joshua and I once fought on the same team. We were friends. But you and I?” He shakes his head. “You were never anything more than a bug to be squashed.”
“Really, Jonathan? Is that the best you can come up with?”
He fists the bar, hands clean despite his stench. “Do not address me so casually. I am still your superior—”
I’m on my feet and drawing my knife. “Like the Void you are.” What’s a little scrape going to hurt? He’ll heal. I’m about to make my first cut, swift and easy. And then I see them.
My father in a rage, trying to drown Khloe. Forcing me to ingest Void-riddled water.
Em shaking her head, telling me I’m better. I’m stronger.
And my mother. The woman who died to protect me. Tiernan came looking for his sorry excuse for a son that day. Instead, he found the girls in my place. My mother took his wrath full on, the wrath he’d been waiting to unleash all those years. If I’d been there, she might still be alive.
My knife meets its sheath. This man isn’t worth my anger. But I do require him. And that is very much worth the most precious possession I own.
“What if you were to trade again, for a fair price, of course?”
Shoulders quaking, Gage hangs his head. “And what of profit do you have to offer?”
I wield my weapon once more, but this time I set it on the bar between us.
He lifts his head, glances between me and the mirrorglass blade. The day I received it still holds firm in my mind. I push the memory away. If I dwell on all this item has meant, I might change my mind.
And I cannot change my mind. I’ve come too far.
Gage is practically foaming at the mouth over the loot between us. Good. I’ve got his attention.
“Make your request, traitor. Let’s see if we can strike a deal.”
His coy response can’t fool me. The man’s already sold.
Still, I’ll play. “I thought you might say that.” Smirk in place, I remove the vial from my pocket. “How’s about a refill?”
“You just proved what I knew all along. You are, in fact, a fool.”
“I know you have it. No use denying it.”
“Oh yeah?” His fingers tap stone mere inches from my knife.
I watch him. If he thinks he can swipe my offer without an exchange, he’s got another thing coming. “Your snakeskin dagger.” I lean into the bar. “It’s not wrapped in snakeskin, is it?”
Now it’s his turn. He withdraws his knife, lengthier than mine, the blade steel. He sets it on the bar. “Good eye, traitor. I will give you that.”
“Dragon skin is hard to come by.” I stroke my chin.