“Good,” Uwan answered. “It’s humbling, and it should be, to see the gods at work in our lives.”
“How do you know I’m Tempus’s agent?” Ashok asked. “I told you I’ve never followed the warrior god. What if Natan is wrong?”
“He’s never been wrong before,” Uwan said.
“I tried to kill one of your people,” Ashok said. “You have no reason to trust me.”
“Don’t I?” Uwan said. He stood, restless, and began pacing the room. He stopped before the portrait of the city. “I’ve been the Watching Blade in Ikemmu for twenty years. During that time, I’ve executed countless warriors for crimes against our people. Disobey orders, endanger the lives of your fellow shadar-kai, betray our people-these are the highest crimes in Ikemmu. Discipline is paramount to the survival of this city, to say nothing of our race. The shadar-kai are built for self-destruction. It is how we were made, but it doesn’t have to be who we are.”
“It’s the only way I know,” Ashok said.
“I don’t believe that,” Uwan said. “When you ran across that field and attacked Skagi, what was in your mind?”
Ashok remembered Lakesh’s face, the blade in his hand. Another brother dead.
“I thought he was going to kill Cree,” Ashok said.
“And you were trying to prevent that, at the cost of your own life,” Uwan said. “What higher service could you render to Ikemmu than to give your life for one of its warriors?”
Ashok didn’t know what to say. He wanted to tell Uwan the truth, to unburden himself of the awful knowledge of the leader’s misplaced faith. But he couldn’t bring himself to speak. He remembered what it was like, waking up in the dark cave with his father, when he’d thought that Ikemmu was only a dream-a hope conjured by his desperate imagination.
The enclave was his nightmare. He couldn’t go back to it. There was only one thing he could do.
“I accept your mission,” he said. His voice became stronger with his conviction. “Whatever it takes, I’ll find your missing people.”
He couldn’t meet Uwan’s gaze. He felt the leader’s hands come down on his shoulders and squeeze.
“Thank you,” Uwan said. “Tempus guide and go with you.”
Tempus guide me? Ashok thought bitterly. Tempus had known who he was all along. Ashok might be able to deceive Uwan and the rest, but the god was sending the perfect person to rescue the missing party, the person who knew the enemy’s strengths and weaknesses best.
Uwan released him, and Ashok started for the door.
“One more thing,” Uwan called after him. “I think you should take the nightmare with you. He would be a presence to be reckoned with, should you encounter trouble along your journey.”
“Is that wise?” Ashok said. The last time he’d ridden the beast, he’d thought he was in control, yet the nightmare had ridden his mind into near madness.
“The fire will burn a path through the witch’s domain,” Uwan said. When Ashok only stared at him, Uwan laughed. “Never mind,” he said. “Go and join your companions.”
Ashok nodded and left the chamber.
When he stepped out into the hall, he found Vedoran and the others waiting for him. Natan was not among them. For a breath, nobody spoke.
“Well, chosen of Tempus?” Vedoran said. Ashok heard the edge beneath the words. “Are you with us or not?”
“I’m with you,” Ashok said.
“Excellent,” Chanoch said, and grinned.
“Told you,” Cree said, nudging his brother, but Skagi was stone-faced, his deformed lip curled in disgust. He said nothing.
Tempus’s clerics had healed the marks on his face. There were no scars, but Skagi obviously hadn’t forgotten their last encounter.
Ashok inclined his head to the warrior. “I apologize for my actions,” he said. “I was arrogant in dealing with the nightmare. I thought it couldn’t affect me. I was wrong.”
He held out his hand. After a long breath, Skagi clasped Ashok’s forearm. His menacing gaze softened.
Suddenly, Skagi’s grip tightened. He pulled Ashok forward a step and punched him in the face with his free hand.
Ashok stumbled. Skagi released him so he could stem the flow of blood gushing from his broken nose. Ashok raised his arm to ward off the next blow, but Skagi was grinning, his hands on his hips. His expression looked cheerful.
“Forgiven,” he said.
Despite everything, Ashok felt himself laughing, along with the others. He looked at Vedoran. “Do we have a plan?” he asked. He spat blood on the stone floor.
“We won’t speak of it here,” Vedoran said. “Meet downstairs, in our chamber.”
Ashok nodded. The brothers and Chanoch went down, but Vedoran lingered.
“It isn’t what you think,” Ashok said when the others were out of hearing.
“Doesn’t matter,” Vedoran said. “All that matters is what he thinks.” He nodded to Uwan’s door. “The hope I had when I looked at you-”
“Was misplaced,” Ashok agreed. “You should have been looking to yourself. Now Vedoran has his chance. Uwan has made you leader. Prove yourself worthy, without Tempus’s aid.”
“So I will,” Vedoran said.
He started to move past Ashok but paused when Ashok said, “What about Natan? Do you believe his visions?”
“With that cleric and his sister, I don’t know what to believe,” Vedoran said. “What I know is that those two-their lineage at least-is valued in Ikemmu.”
“Why?” Ashok asked.
“Their family was here when Ikemmu was founded,” Vedoran said. “They were the first shadar-kai to inhabit the city.”
“I see,” said Ashok. So brother and sister were a piece of the shadar-kai’s history in Ikemmu, he thought. If possible, it added even more weight to their mission. It would be a blow to the city to lose one of its links to the past.
“You should know this,” Vedoran said. He looked Ashok in the eyes. “No matter what Natan’s visions say, I don’t believe it is Tempus who will save Ilvani and the others. We, the shadar-kai, will dictate success or failure. The gods have no part in this mission. Do you understand?”
“I do,” Ashok said. “I would have it no other way.”
The next several days were a blur of training and preparation for the journey north. Vedoran seized his leadership role with ferocity, making Ashok and the others train during all their free time, with no rest but for the time they ate or slept. He allowed Ashok time to train with the nightmare when he learned of Uwan’s concession with regards to the beast, but he kept a wary eye on Ashok the entire time, to make sure the beast didn’t get the best of him again.
But the nightmare, for his part, must have sensed that something was about to happen, for the beast obliged Ashok’s commands without a fight, and though Ashok continued to dream of the caves, his brothers, and his father, the visions did not follow him into his waking hours. He was able to separate his past from his current reality.
Not for long, Ashok thought. Soon his past would come to claim him. He refused to think about what he would have to do when that time came, and concentrated instead on preparing himself physically for what lay ahead.
On the day before they were to depart, Uwan, against Vedoran’s wishes perhaps, gave them all leave to have the day to themselves to do whatever they wished. Ashok went to see Darnae. He wasn’t sure why he did it. He hadn’t seen the halfling since the night at the tavern.
When he stepped into her shop, Darnae was standing at the top of a high stool, brushing cobwebs off the ceiling with a damp cloth.
“There’s a face to wilt a lesser man-or a shadar-kai,” she said with a grin. “I didn’t know if I would see you again.”
Ashok lingered in the doorway, leaning against the frame. “I came to see … how you are?” he asked uncertainly.
“Very well-practicing hard for my next performance at Hevalor. There’s a reason I’m only a messenger,” she said, and winked at him.
“To me it sounded like a dream,” Ashok said earnestly. “I’ve never heard music like that before.”