“I have heard that about my kin,” Kris agreed. “Sometimes I even think my father and brother may have inherited such traits. Course, I know I didn’t.”
That got a snort from the humans present, even the two Marines within hearing distance. Kris gave the two guards a solid officer scowl that took the grins off their faces.
Then quickly converted it to a smile when she noticed that Ron had momentarily lost interest in the present wheedling of his green and whites and was looking Kris’s way with what had to be a puzzled expression.
Nelly said something in Iteeche, and Ron gave Kris a small wave with his lower left hand and turned back to his problems.
“Nelly, what did you say?”
“Nothing, Kris. I just told Ron that you were having a bit of trouble with your advisors, just like him.”
“Nelly, you are not supposed to give away state secrets,” Jack put in.
“Even small ones!”
“I forgot to warn all of you,” Kris said. “Nelly has developed, or is trying to develop, a sense of humor. Help her if you can in your spare time, but be aware that what you get from her might be a very poor attempt at humor.”
“Oh, Nelly, that sounds wonderful,” Penny said enthusiastically, but the look she cast to the others was just short of horrified.
“Don’t you humans go getting your panties in a twist,” Nelly said in a voice not all that different from Cara’s. “I’ve done a search on humor and peace negotiations and know they don’t mix. I found a doctorate thesis on the problems of applying humor to conflict situations. It says it only works when used in a closed group, like the way you folks do it, but it is far too risky across major conflict boundaries. Okay. There! You happy?”
“Yes, Nelly,” the colonel said. “You show us more and more that you are not only very smart but also growing in wisdom.”
“Don’t try to butter me up, Colonel. I know I’m the smartest collection of facts on this boat. I also know none of us has anything close to the wisdom we need for this mess Kris didn’t actually get us into. Not really.”
“No, it just happened on my watch,” Kris grumbled.
“Like it always does,” Jack added.
“Hold it, pretty boy, that was not humor. That was saying something snide to my girl,” Nelly said.
“There is a difference,” Penny pointed out.
“But it’s true, all the crap does happen on Kris’s watch,” Jack insisted.
“But it’s not her fault,” Nelly insisted.
“It really doesn’t matter, Nelly,” Kris said. “Jack’s right. I have bad karma.”
“There’s no such thing as karma,” Nelly shot back.
“Karma, fate, destiny,” Jack said, “call it what you want, but it’s there and Kris has every flavor of bad it comes in.”
Nelly didn’t have a quick response to that.
“It seems,” the colonel said, “that one of our visitors wants to visit.”
A gray and gold trotted over to them while the two green and whites continued their running nondisagreement with Ron.
He paused about two meters out from Kris and looped his four legs into the safety ropes with expert care just about the time that Drago announced, “The Wasp will take on one quarter gee in two minutes. Prepare for gravity.”
He glanced at the deck a meter below his feet and reached two hands for a hold an instant after Kris and her team did the same. With a slight bow, he began to speak.
“He says,” Nelly translated, “that he’s Teddon’sum’Lee, a ship leader honored to advise the Emperor’s Trusted and Honored Representative, Ron’Sum’Pin’sum’We. He has been honored with the assignment to come to us and make arrangements for how we shall hold further talks as honored persons to honored persons.”
“Tell him we’ll be glad to get the housekeeping chores out of the way while the green and whites haggle,” Kris said with a smile.
“You sure you want to say that?” Penny shot out before Nelly started to translate.
“You tend to your knitting, and I’ll see how many sharks are really swimming in our little wading pool.”
“On your head, Longknife. Just remember, if they start shooting at you, they’re gonna hit the rest of us, too.”
“You two going to finish your haggling before I forget what it is Kris told me to say,” Nelly said in pure twelve-year-old.
“Computers don’t forget,” Jack said.
“But I’m a computer picking up bad human habits, remember.”
Kris didn’t know what an impatient Iteeche looked like, but the one in front of her was getting wide-eyed and tight at the mouth. “Nelly, translate before this fellow walks off.”
Nelly did. He said something, and Nelly said something more.
NELLY, WHAT ARE YOU TELLING HIM?
HE WANTED TO KNOW WHAT TOOK US SO LONG, SO I TOLD HIM.
All of WHAT we SAID!
Of course NOT. I TOLD HIM ABOUT The HASSLING you were TAKING FROM your HUMAN ADVISORS AND LEFT Me OUT. THAT TRANSLATOR Ron is WEARING is a PRETTY DUMB Machine. They Don’T NEED To know how GOOD I AM.
You GOT THAT RIGHT, Girl. “Nelly’s explaining why we took so long to answer,” Kris whispered.
Jack started to say something, thought better, and didn’t. You really NEED To GET all your people Their own COMPUTER like Me. If They were PLUGGED in like you, you COULD Talk To THEM JUST like you Talk To Me.
AND you’D SPEND all your TIME GABBING WITH THEM, so I’D NEVER GET a WORD in EDGEWISE, Kris said. But Nelly did have a point. She’d been able to get messages through Nelly once in a while from someone else. But that was when they were distant from her. Just now, it would be nice to pass a message and not have to worry about it being heard and reacted to.
SUIT yourself, HUMAN, IT’s your funeral. “Ted here and I have agreed that he’s a Navy captain and ‘housekeeping’ is a good word that the Iteeche ought to steal from us. Are you ready to get some housekeeping issues out of the way?”
“Certainly, Captain. It is an honor to have you aboard,” Kris said. “What can we do for you?”
The Iteeche captain spoke, and Nelly took up a near-simultaneous translation. “He says they will send one of the Imperial banner carriers back to their ship and keep one here.”
“Do they need to keep one?” Penny asked into the silence.
“Do I need to get someone here with a flag?” Kris asked right after her. “We’ve got flags if we need them.”
“No, he says they recognize the authority you have, Kris. It’s just that under law no one may speak for the emperor without having an Imperial herald with full rig present under pain of death. It is an old law, going back to the days when lots of people claimed to speak for the emperor. Now, no herald, no Imperial words, or off with your head. Or something like that. Kris, I’m not sure, but I think the herald may have a recorder or perfect recall. Anyway, no talking without one.”
“Interesting,” Kris said, not remembering anything about this in the histories of Grampa Ray’s peace negotiations. So we live and learn. “Of course the captain may keep a herald present.”
“He also wants to keep all four of his Marines.”
“Ship accelerating to one quarter gee in five, four, three, two, one,” interrupted them. Everyone, even the Marine guards—on both sides—grabbed a handhold . . . or two. As acceleration began, they slowly sank to the deck of the docking bay. Kris was amazed at the graceful way both sets of Marines did it without taking their eyes off each other, or breaking from their stiff attention.