I follow, mutely.
A few nights later, between bites of rice, Auntie Mina says calmly, “I’ve scheduled a phone call with Randall for Sunday. We’re going to talk things over.”
“What do you mean, ‘talk things over?’” I say, putting my fork down. “He’s had his say.”
“Sunny,” my dad says sharply.
Mom looks at me, frowning a little. “Sometimes you have to give people a chance to talk, that’s all.” I look at Dad. He’s not looking at anyone, just eating mechanically and staring at his plate.
I’m pretty sure he doesn’t want to give Uncle Randall any more chances.
I look at Auntie Mina. A slight smile is fixed on her face, and I have no idea what she’s thinking. Is she going to go back to him? She’d be nuts to do that. Especially with her new job starting in two weeks; her chance at a new life.
I wish I knew for sure. I could try to talk her out of it somehow, try to prove to Auntie Mina that she wants nothing more to do with him. I could make her promise.
Things have changed so much. When I was little, they used to seem like a fairy-tale family to me. But fairy tales, like promises, are just words.
seventeen
That night, I pick up my cell phone and scroll down my list of contacts, my fingers twitching nervously. When I reach the C’s, I linger for a second on Cassie’s name. I never quite managed to delete her from my phone book. I don’t know why. It’s not like we’ve talked. But deleting her entry would feel like there’s no going back, ever.
I sigh and scroll down to the number I was planning to dial. Cody.
Yesterday at school, we talked again about what happened over winter break, this time without Mikaela or the rest of the group potentially eavesdropping. He said that he’d been doing a little research and had some ideas about how I could try to get control over my underhearing. I think he might actually still feel bad about what happened. I know I’ve been wishing it never happened.
No matter what I do, though, I can’t change it, any more than I can change what happened to Shiri. Still, I wake up every morning and go to bed every night trying to underhear something, anything, that could help Auntie Mina. Seeing her haggard face every day, her aimless puttering around the kitchen waiting for her new job to start, is almost too much for me to bear, so I keep trying.
But I can’t do it alone.
The phone rings only once on the other end of the line before Cody picks up. “Hello.” He sounds abrupt and distracted. I can hear voices in the background.
“It’s Sunny,” I say, my stomach doing flip-flops. I rush on before I lose my nerve. Just like a race—I just have to keep my eyes on the other end of the pool. “Look, I’ve been thinking about what you said. So … tell me more about what you found out.” My palm is sweating and I grip the phone more tightly in my hand.
I’m not sure how far I can trust him, but I don’t want to be scared anymore. I want to be in control. I almost tell him that, but he jumps in, sounding a lot more enthusiastic now.
“Oh! Okay. Yeah. Wow,” he says. “I wasn’t sure you would want to, but—no, it’s awesome.”
“Well, good.” I can imagine him pacing back and forth in his fidgety way, and I smile a little.
“You know, I had a feeling you were going to call. I’m really glad you did.” His voice is low, as if he wants to talk to me and only me. A tiny shiver travels up my arms at the sound of his voice … even though I know he’s into witch chicks with flowing skirts and big candles.
“Me too,” I say. “So what’s this advice you were talking about?”
“Oh, man. I’ve been reading a lot of stuff, books from Rennie and some articles on the Internet, and I think there’s—” Cody stops mid-sentence. I hear a woman’s voice muffled in the background, impatient and a little angry.
Cody says “Okay! ” to whoever was talking and then makes a frustrated, wordless noise into the phone.
“Sorry about that. My mom. I have to wrap it up in ten minutes.”
“I can call you back,” I say.
“No, that’s okay. I’m just on phone restriction until to-morrow night.”
“Phone restriction?” I refrain from asking for details, but I’m curious. Maybe the Magic 8 Ball incident came back to haunt him. “Okay, we could talk about it at lunch tomorrow.”
“I was kind of hoping we could get together outside of school. Like maybe at your place?” He sounds eager. I can’t believe he just asked that. I jump up from my bed and walk over to the window, looking out at the drizzle that coats the lawn with a wet sparkle.
“Sure,” I say, but in the back of my mind I think of Mikaela and wonder what she’d say. “I’ll just have to tell my parents. When were you thinking?”
“Saturday? I’m going somewhere with Andy and David at four, but I can drive over before that. I’ll be off restriction by then, so I should be able to borrow the car.” He snorts, then adds in an undertone, “Like they really care anyway.”
“Huh?”
“Oh, Mom and Pop are into the whole authority thing. But it’s all talk.” He laughs, but it doesn’t sound like he’s really that amused.
“Okay.” I’m not sure what to say. My parents sure aren’t into the “authority thing,” whatever he means by that.
“Anyway, I’ll see you on Saturday.”
I pause, then ask, “What do you want me to … do on Saturday? Should I get candles, or something?”
“Leave it all to me,” Cody says, this time with a real smile in his voice. “No spectators, though, don’t worry. And you might want to do a little practicing in the meantime. I read that relaxation really helps.”
“Like in what way?”
“Try lying flat on your back and tensing each muscle individually then relaxing it, until all your muscles are totally relaxed. Then, if you just concentrate on the sound of your breathing, for like five minutes or so with your eyes closed, you’re supposed to reach a state of heightened awareness. Rennie says it works for her.”
“Oh,” I say. It sounds a lot like what I tried with Mikaela, but maybe it’s something I need to practice alone for a while. It doesn’t hurt to try. Even though I don’t like the idea that he’s still talking to Rennie about me.
I hear an exclamation in the background again, the same voice I heard earlier.
“I’ve gotta go,” Cody says. “But let me know tomorrow if Saturday works.”
“Sure. Talk to you then.”
“Later.”
I press the disconnect button a little reluctantly, though I know he’s already gone. I almost can’t believe that phone call really happened. I have a crazy feeling in my stomach, and sort of a buzzing in my head … and it’s not entirely bad.
Except that I know I should tell Mikaela. I don’t want there to be secrets in our friendship. At the same time—I want to keep this to myself. So help me, despite knowing how she feels about him, and despite not quite trusting him, I want to keep this side of Cody to myself.
Thursday at lunch Cody walks up to me while Mikaela’s in the bathroom and hands me a stack of Internet printouts.
“These should help you out. They’re about reaching that state of heightened awareness I was telling you about.” He gives me a sly smile.
“Thanks.” I try for a cool smile back. “Saturday’s fine with my parents. They’ve been wanting to meet you.”
That’s when Mikaela walks up.
“So your parents want to meet the man in black?” she asks, looking at me steadily.