Much as with transportation, poor families have few choices about where they live. Thus, Katie’s family makes do with roaches in their apartment, a poorly maintained building, snow and ice on the steps, chronically broken appliances, and leaky plumbing. So far, though, they have been “lucky” with their neighbors, meaning that no serious threats have materialized in this apartment building. Ms. Brindle’s former sister-in-law and close friend, Mary, was not so fortunate. Drug dealers moved into the complex.
Despite its many problems, the Brindles’ apartment at least provides the family with an autonomous, private living space. Midway into the observation period, however, even that was threatened. Ms. Brindle began falling behind in her rent payments. When she first moved into the apartment, she had expected to split the $600 monthly fee with Jenna. Jenna became sick and then was diagnosed as HIV positive. She could not contribute her share of the rent, and her mother could not afford it by herself. The waiting list for public housing is years long. Moving in with Katie’s grandmother was a possibility, but only as a last resort. The house is already crowded: Ms. Brindle’s brothers John (the schizophrenic) and Ryan live there. The Brindle family would have to live in the basement. In addition, the wood-burning stove and kerosene heaters Ms. Brindle’s mother uses to heat her house would aggravate Jenna’s allergies. But most important, Jenna and Grandmom do not get along. They have had many years of bitter conflicts, including a low point when Jenna was ten and her grandmother called her a “whore.”
Stymied and unsure of what to do next, Ms. Brindle waited, first using up her last month’s rent, and then hoping to move any day. But as the days dragged on, her landlord decided to begin eviction proceedings. On a cold day in February, Ms. Brindle, Melmel, and a field-worker go to municipal court. After waiting hours, they are finally called to the bench. During the brief interaction, the court official tells Ms. Brindle that she has thirty days to move out. The next week, however, she receives a “failure to appear” notice from the court. According to court records, Ms. Brindle had not appeared, and thus her landlord had the right to lock her out of the apartment immediately. Trying to contact the court is an exercise in frustration:
CiCi says, “I called that number that they gave me and they kept telling me I had to call back. I got tired of calling back. I asked who was I supposed to talk to. I got tired of calling back. Then I got this notice in the mail and I was mad.”
In the meantime, Jenna decides to move to Florida to live with her father, and to avoid the cold northeastern winter. After she gets there, things do not work out as planned. Jenna’s father proves to be less helpful than she had expected, other arrangements fall through, her health worsens, and she is briefly hospitalized. Frantic with worry, Ms. Brindle decides to move to Florida when Jenna asks her to come. To get money for a ticket, Ms. Brindle sells her living room and bedroom sets. But, the buyers of the bedroom furniture are late in bringing their payment. The delay is excruciating. Ms. Brindle worries that the deal will fall through, leaving her without the money she needs to finance the trip:
She says, “I need to get the bedroom set sold. It was supposed to be gone but because of the snow they couldn’t come get it. They had the money, but who knows if they have the money now? I need the money to get the tickets and I am supposed to go down to pay for the tickets tomorrow. (Her voice is rising with anxiety.) I am waiting for a fifty-dollar check. That will give me enough for the tickets and then anything extra is money to go down there with.”
Ms. Brindle is desperate to go to Florida. Having already lost one child, she is distraught beyond words by Jenna’s illness. In the fall, when Jenna was first diagnosed, Ms. Brindle attempted suicide. Depressed and overwhelmed, she swallowed a large number of pills with alcohol (in the apartment, with the three children in other rooms). She was rushed to the hospital, had her stomach pumped, and survived. She is determined to take care of Jenna, but the logistics of getting to Florida overwhelm her. She toys with the possibility of leaving Katie behind until the end of the school year. She begins by suggesting that Katie stay with Grandmom until June, but Katie says, “No, I’ll go.” Later, Katie even more firmly rejects the idea of living with Aunt Mary while her mother is in Florida:
CiCi says, “You could stay here.” A minute passes by and CiCi says, “You could stay with Mary.”
Mary who is walking toward the kitchen at this point says, “Eh-eh. If she stayed with me, I would hit her.” Mary looks at Katie and says, “Your mom doesn’t hit you cuz she’s afraid she’ll hurt you. But I would hit you so you stop acting like a brat.”
CiCi says under her breath, “That’s right.” Katie does not say anything.
Aunt Mary volunteers, “I would hit her like my father hit me,” and then tells a story of how he beat her so badly she bled, but she altered her behavior thereafter.
Katie says to CiCi, “You did punch me in the face once.” CiCi says, “I slapped your face. Don’t exaggerate.” Katie says, “I went to school with a black eye.”
The afternoon wears on; most of the time, everyone is watching soap operas and Oprah. With her mother and aunt only a few feet away, Katie begins to hit herself. There is no mistaking that they have heard and seen her, but there is no reaction on their part:
Katie starts hitting her forehead with her fist. She is sitting on the bed and falls backwards as she beats her forehead. She is hitting with her right hand. She continues for about three minutes, which seems to me like a very long time.
Moreover, Melmel begins to mimic her:
Melmel climbs up on the bed between her and myself and imitates Katie. He does this for about a minute. CiCi and Mary watch without saying anything. Katie says to me, “That’s why I was in the hospital.” I ask, “Why?” She says, “For hurting myself.” I ask, “What did they do to you?” She says, “They locked me up.” I ask, “And then what did they do?” Katie says, “They taught me about self-esteem and told me not to hurt myself.” I looked over once and CiCi and Mary were watching Oprah.
Clearly, Katie does not want to stay behind, either with her grandmother or her aunt. Knowing her daughter’s flair for being dramatic, Ms. Brindle may think that Katie is deliberately exaggerating her feelings and thus ignores her. Perhaps, though, she simply cannot allow herself to acknowledge her youngest daughter’s feelings, regardless of their validity. Ms. Brindle has a history of depression, and she seems to be haunted by the death of her first child. She feels she must go to Florida to help Jenna. Leaving Katie in someone else’s care would simplify several aspects of the move. (When the move finally happened, Ms. Brindle took both Melmel and Katie with her.)